Paris Hilton, one of the primary targets of Nancy Grace's venom, is out of jail after having served only 3 days.  According to LA County Sheriff spokesman Steve Whitmore, jailhouse exposure to polyester caused Paris to suffer a potentially lethal rash which, when combined with the lack of a proper medicinal dose of Chateau Haut Brion, could have been fatal.

Whitmore denied that the rash had anything to do with close contact with lonely young men working in the jail who had certain yearnings and desires. 

Rash that may or may not have anything to do with Paris Hilton's surprise release.  


Note leg unshaven for 3 whole days.


Okay, now that I'm done with the foolishness of this, let's get on to the real issue.  The jailing of Paris was controversial to begin with, but clearly intended to send a message of general deterrence that disobedience of a court order, even by a Paris Hilton, would result in meaningful punishment.  It was viewed by some as unduly harsh, and many saw Paris as bearing the negative consequences of her Seinfeldesque fame.  But having make the decision to send a message, even in the face of controversy, could the LA County Sheriff have done anything more to undermine that message and make it clear that, Yes, Paris is special.

If some fella of color got himself a rash, do you think that he'd get to go home to the 'hood because of his "medical condition?"  No need to beat this horse to death.  So the clear, unadulterated message is that when you're a celeb, and when your celebrity (whether merited or not) gives rise to excess on the bad side, don't worry.  Before long, the light will shine on you once again and you will enjoy the perks that only truly important people get.  Message sent.  Message received.

Now the really fun thing is that I found out about this story in the midst of my busy day because I was called by a TV reporter who wanted to know if they could do an interview. 

"About what," I asked, and he told me the latest in the Paris saga. 
"So what am I supposed to know about this that you don't know?"
"Nothing," I was told, "but you're a lawyer and this is a lawyer story, so I need a lawyer." 
"You have anyone else lined up,"I asked. 
"Barry Slotnick," I was told. 
"Is he still alive?" 
"Apparently," he said.
"So use Barry," I said.
And that's the news.