The message is left: “Greenfield, this is bzzzgropppth, My husband got hjustttshsssssh. Call me immediately at 917-deesssstrrrrgh-374. We need you desperately!”
Guess what? You’re not getting a call back. It’s not that I don’t care. It’s not that I don’t want to be your lawyer. It’s that you called on a cellphone.
Here’s a newsflash for those of you who think cellphones are just the coolest thing going: They aren’t entirely reliable. Calls get broken up. Messages are garbled. Even if it’s only one digit in the telephone number, I can’t call you back.
Forget all those really great commercials on TV about how the cellular company’s love you and are doing everything in the world to make your cellphone service spectacular. It’s just a commercial.
So as you sit in the holding cell, thinking that your wife has reached out to me and that I’m on my way to get you out, you will be disappointed. I cannot help you because I have no clue who you are, how to reach your wife or what happened. Don’t blame me. Blame your cellphone.
And for all of you who are so enamored of the fact that you can make and receive calls wherever you are, whenever you must, under the mistaken belief that convenience trumps function, when you leave a message for someone, you have absolutely no idea whether your message was recorded in an audible fashion or is just a bunch of garbled sounds. The miracle of the cellphone leaves much to be desired.
Sorry. If I can’t understand your message, I can’t be there for you.
Simple Justice
As a long-time worker in the mobile phone industry (primarily network engineering, in fact), I’d just like to say look on the bright side – for every person stuck in jail because of lousy service, I figure that’s at least two others that can’t make calls while sitting next to you in the movie theater. You’re welcome.
Stop trying to cheer me up.
Cell phones is part of society. It is a necessity. However, if a phone call is that important as needing to hire an attorney for it’s an emergency, then I say call as often as possible from two separate phones so both numbers are available as contact information.
Well, if you insist…
You can’t place a collect call to cell phones, either. I bet lots of people don’t find that out until they’re trying to call someone to get them out of the can.
There, is that better?
Nope, but keep trying. I’m beginning to feel something . . . though it might just be fatigue.
Are you really a lawyer? Come on, really?
I don’t practice criminal law, so I don’t have as dramatic of an anecdote as you. However, even as a civil lawyer, I can say that I HATE cell phones. When you call me on a cell phone and you are constantly cutting out, you’re paying me to say “huh, what, repeat that?”
I don’t have a policy of refusing to speak to clients on cell phones, but I would say that at least 1/3 of my conversations with clients on cell phones end with me saying “call me when you can get to a land line.”
You could always spice up your story by throwing in a porn king, blaring music from the girls doing lap dances, that sort of thing?
And now you know one of the reasons my voicemail says, “After the tone, speaking slowly and clearly…”
Of of my cardinal rules of leaving a message: Say your number twice.
Hee hee… I suppose I could… that kind of environment does make it nearly impossible to hear someone calling. Yet another reason why I love text messages.
Do you know that your voicemail records the number from which a message came? It’s in the envelope information. It doesn’t help if they wanted you to call somewhere else, true, but it’s a start.
I would guess that would depend upon what type of voicemail one uses, and whether the cellphone number is available, though I have no idea what you mean by the “envelope information.” If it is, I could get it off caller ID as well, though I’m not in the habit of making blind return calls. However, many clients of criminal defense lawyers go anonymous for caller ID purposes. They generally have a thing about their privacy.