As my experience inside the academy is limited to the occasional guest lecture and the Cardozo ITAP program, neither of which involve any degree of scholarship whatsoever and, I assume, the impression left upon students is limited to stifling a yawn,  Thus, Jay Wexler's piece of advice at PrawsfBlawg shook me to the core.

If your school is one of those where the students put on a musical every year to poke fun at law school life, including the professors, it is in your best interest to take affirmative steps to avoid being portrayed in a negative light during the show.  Believe me, you do not want to be tagged as the "sweaty" professor, or the "smarmy" professor, or the professor who loves to hear himself talk (like a prawf I've heard about who was portrayed singing, to the tune of the Divinyls hit song, "When I think about law, I cite myself").  To avoid this unfortunate fate, I recommend that you early on adopt a very obvious and hopefully charming (or at least harmless) affectation that the students will have no choice but to seize upon when depicting you in their musicals. 

Law schools put on plays?  Mine never put on a play.  At least one that I was told about.  Of course, my classmates may have engaged in a secret pact to keep this information from me, but I don't think they cared enough to go to such lengths. 

[Editorial note: I am about to embark on a discussion of Jay Wexler.  Since I don't know Jay, and the name could be masculine or feminine, and I don't have a photograph to go by, I am constrained to make an editorial choice as to pronoun.  I pick the feminine, giving myself a 70-30 chance of being wrong and insulting Jay and her entire family.  I assume that someone will eventually correct me, at which time I will point to this note and exclaim, "Ha!"]

Jay later explains the she has adopted the affectation of constantly popping candy.

Now I never go anywhere without a roll of Smarties, the delicious sweet-tarty candy to which I am completely addicted.  I have to say that, although no students really know who I am and so never portray me in their musicals at all, I am quite confident that if they ever do put me in one of their plays, they will totally overlook all my negative characteristics and simply show me as a guy popping Smarties. 

Law students, you got that, right?  It's not that she doesn't like Smarties.  She does.  It's that she has an addictive personality and blood sugar issues.  You might want to also inquire about her dental records.  She might have some holes worth looking into there.

As for me, I decided to check out Jay Wexler's CV at Boston University School of Law.  I note that I am particularly fond of BU as that is where Mrs. SJ got her doctorate (I know, that would make her Dr. SJ, but that sounds so pretentious).  But back to Jay, I immediately noticed that she doesn't pass the shoe test (mine, not the Iraqi version).  This means that she hasn't been a lawprof longer than any pair of shoes I own (except my very chic crocks, but they don't count).

However, Jay's resume is incredible.  She clerked for Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  I didn't even go down there to get admitted, assuming that there was a good chance that the FBI would bar me from the building.  She's written a ton of scholarly works and sat on enough panels to have a seriously flattened derrière.  This is a very impressive person.

So let's say she drones a bit when teaching.  She's entitled.  When you've accomplished what she's accomplished, in such a remarkably short time, you get to be a bit pedantic.  So all you law students, who have yet to accomplish more than making it to last call at the local pub, should hang on her every word.  There's a reason why she's standing in front of the class and you're not.  I mean, serious, she graduated Stanford with a 4.08 cum.  She not only bought all the hornbooks, but probably read some of them. 

So if the students at BU are putting on a play, it's time you took a hard look at Jay Wexler.  And forget about some Smarties joke about her, as if she's going to get away with the Smarties thing.  If you can't find something better to use, then you don't deserve Jay Wexler as your lawprof.  Now go study.