Occupy Walmart

What would the internet do without Walmart?  There’s always something special about Walmart shoppers, good for a laugh and to appreciate that you aren’t in the photo, but combining these special patrons with Black Friday is just too toxic for words.

I make no bones about declaring Black Friday to be the  worst symptom of our diseased consumerist society.  It’s just sick.  But that doesn’t mean it can’t get sicker, and here’s this year’s flavor.

A woman shot pepper spray to keep shoppers from merchandise she wanted during a Black Friday sale, and 20 people suffered minor injuries, authorities said.

Police said the suspect shot the pepper spray when the coverings over the items she wanted were removed.


“Somehow she was trying to use it to gain an upper hand,” police Lt. Abel Parga told The Associated Press early Friday.


He said she was apparently after some electronics and used the pepper spray to keep other shoppers at bay.


If she had a taser (or maybe a handgun, as is her fundamental right), she could only nail one competing Walmart shopper at a time. That would never do.  She could never reload fast enough to keep the other shoppers away.

No doubt whatever piece of electronics she sought was very important to her, and likely at an exceptional price.  It would make someone a wonderful gift. Really, she was just trying to make a loved one happy at an exceptionally good price, and would happily harm anyone in her way.

It’s a disease, and this is just a symptom of a sick society who will harm another human being for a gadget.

Happy Holiday.

8 comments on “Occupy Walmart

  1. Luke Gardner

    Sick stuff. Seems to me that modern gadgets have replaced Golden Calves as objects of worship in our spiritually corrupt society. Lord have mercy on us.

    Yes, I know, that likely sounds inconsistent coming from a libertarian.

  2. A Voice of Sanity

    Shopping is America’s national religion. Church is a duty. When did you last see anyone camped outside of a church waiting for it to open, or trampling others in the rush to get in?

    So using pepper spray was perfectly reasonable. The other shoppers were keeping her away from “Baby Jesus“.

  3. Turk

    Have you assumed like others that the sprayer used the weapon offensively, instead of defensively? Perhaps someone was beating her about the noggin’ so she whipped out the spray to keep the person off?

    Or, perhaps, she is just a member of the Lt. Pike fan club?

    And how could you ignore the good news? Apparently, no one was trampled to death this year.

  4. SHG

    I don’t care whether it offensive or defensive. There is no iPad worth getting pepper sprayed.  And yes, that no one was trampled this year is wonderful news, and yet it’s still not enough to make me want to go do out and consume. I must be an athiest.

  5. A Voice of Sanity

    Or maybe you saw this on YouTube: “Bill Maher’s Christmas Message to Oprah Winfrey”

    Now THAT’S some rejoicing from true believers!

    [Edit. Note: I’ve added in the video because I can. Get over it.]

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