The Joys of Blawging

Me: It’s a fairly sophisticated argument, requiring a working understanding of law, procedure and logic.

You: IANAL, but I feel that you’re just wrong because it makes me really sad, angry, outraged and offended.

Me: (Shrug)

You:  Hah!!! You failed to respond to my mad arguments!!! I win, I win!!!

Me: You have no argument, so there is nothing to respond to.

You: My argument was brilliant, and you’re too stupid, prejudiced and emotional to admit it, because I’m right and you’re WRONG!!!

Me:  Okay then.

You:  Admit it, admit that I win. I demand you admit it or you’re ugly and dress funny. I will keep commenting until you admit that I WIN!!!  This is so like you boomers who destroyed the world and forced us into puppy rooms to save us from the traumatic violence of your LIES. You are a poopyhead!

At least I get to enjoy the fabulous wealth and prestige of being a blawger. And another slice of pie.  Are we having fun yet?

60 thoughts on “The Joys of Blawging

  1. REvers

    You’re unhinged.

    Or was it deranged? I forget. I haven’t had enough coffee yet so I don’t have the energy to go to Reddit to look it up.

      1. Richard G. Kopf


        See you don’t get it. All stuff will soon be free even bacon and dognuts. But bacon comes from hogs and that makes PETA people mad and sad. But soy bacon will be here soon. It will be free and everyone will be happy. The circle of life will finally close and we will have no need for blawgers or bloggers or you know . . . thinking and stuff like that.

        All the best.


        1. losingtrader

          Dognuts? I can’t decide if that was intentional or not. I think the former, but perhaps you accidentally mixed your love of dogs with your dementia. I’m in a place right now where dogs are illegal and they operate on a half- hour time zone. No porn, liquor, guns, pigs, dogs or premarital sex (that one gets the death penalty unless you are a foreigner).
          What possible other reasons are there for living?
          Scott, maple and turkey bacon donuts are just as good.

  2. JR

    I had almost the same conversation with an ex-coworker. The only difference would have been the first line.

    Me: It’s a fairly sophisticated argument, requiring a working understanding of XYZ, physics, electronics and logic.

    I feel your pain.

      1. JR

        So what you are saying is that all mass in the universe does not come from the Higgs Boson, but from maple bacon donuts?

        Looking at my mass, that would make sense.

        The more donuts I eat, the more my mass increases. QED.

        1. David W

          If we learned anything from Homer Simpson’s encounter with Stephen Hawking, it’s that the universe is donut-shaped. Maple and bacon just make the universe worthwhile.

      1. mb

        Just that the second person singular character in your story wasn’t winning many points, but I like an underdog.

  3. Robert Newton

    I find it oddly comforting that the “feelz” mode of argument that you do so well at eviscerating is not, in fact, anything new, but instead has been a problem all throughout human history.

    John Stuart Mill wrote in the 19th century: “People are accustomed to believe, and have been encouraged in the belief by some who aspire to the character of philosophers, that their feelings, on subjects of this nature, are better than reasons, and render reasons unnecessary. The practical principle which guides them to their opinions on the regulation of human conduct, is the feeling in each person’s mind that everybody should be required to act as he, and those with whom he sympathises, would like them to act. No one, indeed, acknowledges to himself that his standard of judgment is his own liking; but an opinion on a point of conduct, not supported by reasons, can only count as one person’s preference; and if the reasons, when given, are a mere appeal to a similar preference felt by other people, it is still only many people’s liking instead of one. To an ordinary man, however, his own preference, thus supported, is not only a perfectly satisfactory reason, but the only one he generally has for any of his notions of morality, taste, or propriety, which are not expressly written in his religious creed; and his chief guide in the interpretation even of that.”

    If it were some new development in humankind, it would seem even worse than it is, at least to me, as if human culture was degenerating, rather than just being the same old recurring problem. I do not claim this is a rational position on my part, but it is my FEELZ on the subject, so must be true.

    1. SHG Post author

      At various points in human history, feelz prevailed over reason. Then came the enlightenment. And now, poof, it’s gone. The sun rotates around the earth and everything is offensive and exhausting.

      It’s a given that we all feel we are right, or we wouldn’t hold the beliefs we do. The test is whether our beliefs can bear rational scrutiny, and some are willing to be tested while others run for the puppy room, where they find their odd comfort.

      1. Robert Newton

        Damn your microaggressions. Now my serene peace of mind about the whole phenomenon is disturbed, and I find myself contemplating the awful possibility that it is not just a temporary recurring fad of silliness, but the beginning of a long term return to the Dark Ages.

        I must consult my support group. Surely they can help restore me to tranquility.

        As for you: have you no shame, sir?

        1. KronWeld

          He has plenty of shame. He shovels it onto lots of other people though it never sticks to him. He’s teflon coated when it comes to shame.

      2. Dragoness Eclectic

        I’m reading my way through “Plutarch’s Lives” in my leisure time. “Feelz” has always been a problem. Hannibal managed to kill a lot of Romans because the people had “feelz” that Fabius Maximus was just too cowardly and slow about letting Hannibal run himself out of supplies and men chasing Fabius around Italy. After hotheads who went after Hannibal directly lost two or three armies, Fabius’s tactics were finally accepted as right from the beginning.

        And if you’ve ever read Xenophon’s “Anabasis”, rhetoric about the “feelz” was enough to get generals sacked and executed.

        1. Billy Bob

          Welcome back, Dragoness. “leisure time”? It must be nice to be professor emeritus,… in the classics. Robert Newton is a piece of work, ain’t he? Am having a flashback right now!
          (And I’m not exactly illiterate.)
          Where’s Gary Shandling when we kneed hIm? Will the last person to leave please turn out the lights!

          1. Dragoness Eclectic

            “Leisure time” is that time when I’m not sleeping, eating, doing required maintenance or working for my paycheck. Some of it I spend reading, and Project Gutenberg is cheap and full of interesting stuff. I’ve always had an interest in antiquity, and reading the original writers (in translation, I’m not ambitious enough to learn Latin or Greek) is much more interesting than reading the textbooks about them.

            1. SHG Post author

              Bill is nuts. He is not an excuse for you to use my blawg to tell all about you. Save that for the lean in support group.

            2. Billy Bob

              Somebody mention my name? No, you are wrong; we want to know more about Dragoness. She has the coolest handle on the internet. A year ago, we offered our services here as Electric Dragon. (There were no takers!)

              As for being “nuts”, let me say this about that: The criminal justice system made me that way. Lost a lot of money, friends and time in the process. None of which can be retrieved in this lifetime. One of the best lessons we learned here: No Right without a Remedy. True dat! Over and out. However, stay tuned. We luv this forum; it’s “addictive”. Ha. Chant: We Want Justice! (Which is not as “simple” as it looks; that is why we keep coming back,… for more punishment.)

            3. SHG Post author

              Everybody blames the criminal justice system. That doesn’t make you special, Bill. As for Electric Dragon, just no.

  4. Keith

    I haven’t gone to Reddit to look, but I feel this is incomplete without some attempt to put the arguments against you in list form. A very long list.

      1. Peter Orlowicz


        Maybe Jeff just needs to re-phrase into the past tense, since you gave away the pictured outfit…

  5. Jim Ryan

    If you have the facts on your side you use them. Otherwise the feelz argument, not necessarily because I believe, but because, you know. In other words, baffle them with bullshit.

      1. Jim Ryan

        Agreed. And to paraphrase the old AT&T (?) tag line, “Reach out and Touch Someone”, sometimes I just want to Reach out and Choke Someone. (in which case I’ll need your services)

        1. albeed

          You don’t need to “choke someone” to need the services of SHG. The original tag line, Reach out and TOUCH someone” will do nicely!

          Isn’t the law grand. We’ll need another ruling from the honorable RGK on this one also.

  6. angrychiatty

    I always get nervous when you post things about blog commenters. That one time you quit the blog it was in a post about dumbshit commenters.

  7. Billy Bob

    Brussels is getting attacked by A$$is, and you write this drivel. You
    should be ashamed of yourself. Another bad day at Simple Justice,
    … not as “simple” as it looks. Ha. Keep up the good work. That is an order!
    Please do not give up the ship,… or the shop of loose lips, whatever! He
    who laughs, lasts. And we don’t mean maybe.

  8. Vin

    Could be my confirmation bias, but the “you” side of the argument is exceptionally well articulated.

    I know…QED.

        1. SHG Post author

          How can you tell if a chromosome is male or female?*

          *That’s the second time I’ve written this in a week. Too much?

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