But Is It Leprosy?

Commenter: Seems to me she has leprosy. Does she have leprosy?

Me: What makes you think she has leprosy?

Commenter: I don’t know. That’s why I asked you.

Don’t do this. I get it. You have no clue what you’re talking about. Some random idea pops into your head, lacking any basis in reality, but there it is. Now you want to know whether your random thought is true, so you ask a question.  You feel this need to let this question out. If you don’t let it out, you feel like you will burst. So out it comes.

Don’t do this. There is no limit to the random ideas that pop into people’s heads. Most are not good ideas. Just because you’re special does not mean your random ideas are better than anyone else’s.  Ask yourself a few questions before commenting.

  1. Does this have anything to do with the post itself, or is this just some orthogonal thought derived from Chaos Theory?
  2. Is this random thought based on something that was said, or is it just the by-product of loose synaptic connections compounded by multiple inferential leaps into the abyss?
  3. Does anyone care other than you?

And if your random thought survives scrutiny under these questions, then try these:

  1. Can I find the answer to my random question by googling it?
  2. Have I searched old SJ posts to ascertain whether this is something Scott has already written about?
  3. Do I have a deep, personal relationship with Scott such that, unlike all the other readers and commenters at SJ, my random thought is so valuable that he will want to spend his time answering, explaining, researching it for my exclusive benefit?
  4. Is my question so thoughtful, so fascinating, that despite my lack of a deep, personal relationship with Scott, who is a lawyer and gets paid to answer legal questions, he will want to spend his time on me and my random thoughts?
  5. Am I prepared to find out that Scott doesn’t think I’m nearly as fascinating as I think I am?

No, she does not have leprosy. There is absolutely no basis whatsoever to ask, and even if there was, it has nothing to do with the post, and even if it did, I am not sufficiently fascinated by your random thoughts to both figure it out and explain it to you. And then, when you lack the background to appreciate the explanation, explain it to you again using smaller words.

Seriously, just don’t do it.

And if you do, don’t get angry with me for not enabling your narcissistic belief that because you are the center of the universe, you are entitled to indulge whatever random thought pops into your head.  Remember, I didn’t come to your house. You came to mine.

Volenti non fit injuria. Google it.

28 thoughts on “But Is It Leprosy?

  1. Robert Newton

    I think there might be a correlation between the number of birds flying in the air at a given moment in time at a particular location and the frequency of wrongful shootings by police in that same locality. What do you think? Is there such a correlation?

  2. Keith

    You have a responsibility to the people to answer questions. It’s the same reason you must commit to pro bono work. Furthermore, the fact that you would call me out in such a manner is disgusting and I demand that you cease and desist. This post is defamatory per se and libelous against me and I demand you take it down.

    You simply can’t yell fire in a crowded internet like this.

    And while I have your attention, is asking if someone has leprosy a HIPPA violation?

    1. PVanderwaart

      To ask the question is not a HIPAA violation. To answer the question probably is a HIPAA violation if you work in healthcare unless the questioner is involved with the lady’s care.

      1. Kyle W

        Bah, checking your twitter wasn’t on the list! I demand… um… something! For my troubles!

      1. Dave

        But it does always cause liver failure.

        And Scott must not appreciate the theory behind Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency: the fundamental interconnectedness of all things….

  3. losingtrader

    Wow! Thanks. 4 SHGism’s in one post is a record and I must admit I’d been slacking on my SJ PHD thesis.
    The list is in the mid 60’s now.

    1. SHG Post author

      Too easy. Not gonna do it. Nope. Oh hell…

      There’s no explanation for Barleycorn.

      Now I feel cheap.

  4. neilmdunn

    “some orthogonal thought derived from Chaos Theory?”
    Can you explain what this means so I do not have to look it up on google.

  5. David

    Given that Fault Lines is now referring to you as Admiral Greenfield (I’d link, but . . . ), I’d like to see a more nautical theme on the site. Rum, sodomy and the lash, particularly for Barleycorn.
    And she does have leprosy. So there.

  6. Billy Bob

    You were having a baaad day yesterday. First, you stomp on the leprosy commenter, in no uncertain terms.
    The heat getting to ya?
    Then we notice Barleycorn MIA. That is not a good sign. A day without Barleycorn, a day without merriment–a dirge. How many of his comments did you delete? We’re guessing around a dozen. And we thought you were fluent in Barleycorn. At this point, you could write his comments yourself to fill the void.

    1. SHG Post author

      Actually, Barleycorn had a little too much to say yesterday, so I decided it would be a good day to take a Barleycorn break.

      1. John Barleycorn

        Somebody has to prepare you for your retirement gig as a judge.

        My theory is one of theses days a judge is going to slap a contempt of court cooler on a CDL during a disorderly conduct trial.

        Which in turn will lead to….

        On second thought, never mind.

        I think that motion was already denied.

        P.S. Pearls and buttons ain’t got nothing on the new boots I am going to have to have made to match the new suit I traded my law library for. I will miss the smell but I am convinced I didn’t leave any forgoten contraband filed away under the various assorted marked pages that I am convinced will be useful one of these days. Precedent is a bitch…

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