Gary Ostrow Faces The Narcissist’s Dilemma

Among the weird things that happen in the blawgosphere is the sudden, unexpected appearance of a comment long after a post appeared.  More than a year ago, I posted about a Ft. Lauderdale lawyer named Gary Ostrow, who you may recall from his “press release,” announced his intention “to take on all celebrity criminal cases in the state of Florida, effective immediately.”

Okay, stop your snickering. That’s old news.  There’s new news. Just calm down.

It’s hard to know for sure why Gary stumbled upon my old post. Perhaps he was doing a vanity Google search of his name, or maybe he was checking on whether it was worthwhile to send another check to Bangalore’s finest to promote his brand, but there it was.Bennett’s reaction was that it was like a coked-up lawyer. Mine is that it’s like a lawyer with hemorrhoids.

In any event, more than a year after the original post, Gary Ostrow graced me with his thoughts.

Having  just read, for the first time your “editorial”, I would first be interested in knowing who the f*** is Scott Greenfield, who has the balls to criticize me, without  any rational basis or reliable facts whatsoever!! i got news for you, Scott……….My practice has always, and continues to thrive, and I would most comfortably challenge YOUR trial and success record, assuming you even have one, without a moment of doubt or hesitation. Losers like yourself cast stones from afar, because you don’t have the balls to confront successful trial lawyers like myself and are predominately motivated by falsely creating the illusion that your worthlessness is somehow minimized, by judging and making defamatory and baseless comments, while talking out of your ass. I will publicly challenge your despicable, dishonorable and worthless ass to a comparison of professional accomplishment as well as levels of integrity , blindly, because to highly intelligent and aware people like myself, guys like you get off on pointing the finger elsewhere because you are relieved of the daily burden of being you!!   Lets see if you have the balls to post my comment. i would be interested in challenging you to back up your baseless and critical comments ………and the facts upon which you rely. I can promise you this………….on my worst day, i can outgun you in a courtroom or any legal endeavor for that matter. You don’t know shit about me as a person or as a criminal trial litigator… record of 30-years speaks for itself. How lame and worthless you must feel in a deeply inward and painful way to even spend the time and energy to hurl stones in my direction ,  based simply on a press release. Anytime my friend,  should you miraculously grow some balls and fill that empty tiny sack of yours, I will be around…..and the way things continue to evolve, for a very long time!!

Fascinating how these desperate attempts to salvage one’s dignity all sound the same, no?  Whether it’s a baby lawyer like Carl David Ceder or the cries of “look at me” from an older lawyer desperately seeking attention, the cries of butthurt sound the same. They find themselves facing the Narcissist’s Dilemma.

They want attention. They crave it. And so they go to extreme, ridiculous lengths to get it. But when they get what they desire, they learn that it doesn’t always come with the adoration they hoped.  Instead, they find that they’ve turned themselves into an internet clown, a fool ridiculed by those near and far. They cradle their teary face in their hands, furious that they are now tainted forever by their screams for attention, and confused as to how to fix their abject foolishness.

What to do?  There are choices, of course. They can recognize the error of their ways and make an act of contrition, but that doesn’t fit the narcissist’s mindset. The narcissist must prevail, must bluff and bluster his way through and achieve hegemony. It’s not clear thinking, but then, the delusions of a narcissist impair clarity, not helped by a coke-addled brain.

Instead of recognizing the need for therapeutic care, they double down, risking it all on lunatic ranting, from the “you’re a loser” trope to the flagrant machismo of “my penis (or, in this case, ball sack, a curious anatomical choice) is huge” claim, despite the absence of pictures. They don’t realize that without pictures, it didn’t happen.

Ostrow made the terrible assumption that I wouldn’t be inclined to post his comment. On the contrary, there is nothing I more enjoy posting. He grasps so little about the internet, but he may well learn a bit now.

As to the initial question in his rant, and one that I asked as well when I first saw his press release, “who the f*** is Scott Greenfield,” the least I can do for this pathetic waste of humanity is provide an answer. I’m the guy who wrote the post that’s number 2 on the first page of Google whenever anybody searches “Gary Ostrow lawyer.”


Nice to meet you, Gary. You really need to do something about all that pain. And cocaine really isn’t the answer.  It just makes you do stupid things, like doubling down on the internet.

32 thoughts on “Gary Ostrow Faces The Narcissist’s Dilemma

  1. AP

    I think with some work we can make you the guy who wrote the post that’s number 1 on the first page of Google whenever anybody searches “Gary Ostrow lawyer.”

    1. SHG Post author

      I will be wherever the Google Gods decide I will be, whether first or thirty-first. And Ostrow will still be Ostrow.

      1. Vincent Messina

        You’re currently 3rd. But to me, still effin hilarious.

        While some might find it distasteful to pepper the man while he is down, he did, in fact, launch an attack from a position of weakness.

        Maybe a person with more of a moral constitution would have taken the high road. But the high road is nowhere near as entertaining.

        Lesson to us all, do NOT mess with lawyers on the internet. Their mastery of the written word is more lethal than a samurai sword!

        Don’t know any of you. Just came to this today via Google +. All I can say is that I want you all to be my friends. Can we hang?

  2. John Barleycorn

    “Weird. You write like a coked-up lawyer.”

    (Posted in the comments of the original thread by Mark W. Bennett a few hours after Gary (or someone pretending to be Gary) discovers the long lost post which apparently causes him to have a few technical difficulties with our esteemed host’s nut sack and he figures it might be a wise idea to convert some of the steam radiating from his own scrotum into an erre AKA Epic Retort Rant Error)

    All is good and well. However, I must take issue with Mark and our esteemed host piling on the past recreational cocaine use of Gary which imho seems mildly out of bounds, without a real time scrotum steam Cobalt(II) Thiocyanate Test (which it turns out is also called the Scott Test [I shit you not]) for the presence of cocaine in the steam emanating from his nut sack.

    I do not remember where I was when Scarface came out but it was set in Florida but after careful consideration of Garry’s ERRE, I am leaning more towards a bad batch of charcoal in his filter that resulted in the wrong combination of fusel oils coming through. Or it could simply be your garden variety whiskey lactone intolerance via cis-3-Methyl-4-octanolide.

    Either way, I now officially anoint myself Gary’s PR representative here in the SJ comment section just because it ain’t cool under any circumstances to make fun of Bangalore’s finest and I left my copper pot in the dirty dishwasher and I have a bit of time before the every other Sunday hollandaise sauce perpetration can begin.

    We will limit this first press release to Cocaine, Politics, and thank you notes.

    Item 1:

    Let sleeping dogs lie if they have properly buried their bones…

    Gary Stephen Ostrow, 3000 N.E. 30th Place, Suite 301, Fort Lauderdale, suspended for 30 days, effective Aug. 1, following a June 24 court order. (Admitted to practice: 1982) Ostrow was arrested in May 2008 and charged with cocaine possession. In December 2009, Ostrow successfully completed a drug court program and the charge was dismissed. (Case No. SC10-1035)

    Item 2:

    It ain’t crack if it ain’t whack. Don’t judge a man by his pipe or spoon alone…

    (Case No. SC10-1035)
    7. In mitigation, the following is offered:
    A. Several judges on the criminal bench before whom the respondent appears regularly were contacted by The Florida Bar. Each spoke of the respondent’s passionate and zealous representation of clients whose causes can be deemed unpopular and difficult. In fact, the respondent frequently represents those private clients on a pro bono basis, as well as at the request of the bench.

    Item 3:

    Deep remorse and similar experiences topped off with the multitudes cheery of learned lessons…

    (Case No. SC10-1035)
    A.The respondent has expressed deep remorse and embarrassment for his conduct. As a result, the respondent has offered to participate in assisting other Bar members who have experienced similar circumstances in order for them to benefit from the multitude of lessons he has learned.

    Item 4:

    Only a fools run under the banner of the grand old party. He’s not an anarchist yet but with any luck he’s become a libertarian…

    (Case No. SC10-1035)
    C. The respondent’s misconduct was highly publicized since the respondent was seeking to unseat the local public defender, who is very popular in the legal community. Not only did the respondent withdraw his candidacy, but his previously successful law practice was decimated.

    Item 5:

    Thank you notes on YouTube are cool no mater what accent they are in. Has anyone ever posted one for you?

    See the Seo David Channel YouTube “Gary Ostrow Lawyer Fort Lauderdale Florida Thank You” if the link doesn’t make the cut.
    [Ed. Note: Link left in because I try to be overwhelmingly fair to all.]

    1. SHG Post author

      The problem with a person creating laughable bullshit in an effort to put themselves on a ridiculous pedestal is they beg to be knocked off and laughed at on the way down. I agree that his cocaine issues aren’t worthy of mention on their own. But then, no one would have done so or did so.

      Ostrow’s cocaine probems didn’t give rise to any posts, as far as I’m aware. What did was his press release. Because of that, everything becomes fair game. You can’t promote your fabulosity while expecting a free pass on your less-than-fab choices.

      My preference in appreciation is a bit more real world than a Youtube video, but then, we apparently have very different clientele. Of course, the worst lawyer in the world will have the occasional appreciative client, under the blind squirrel theory of legal practice. In our current love of client reviews, this detail is often ignored. So too will the best lawyer have a dissastisfied client, so it cuts both ways.

      To answer your question, no, no one has ever posted a Youtube video thank you to me, nor do I ever expect (or would I ever advise) anyone to do so. But no, I don’t think they’re cool. Not in the slightest. And if someone did, I would immediately tell them to take it down as foolish and utterly inappropriate. But that’s me. Ostrow apparently feels differently, as do you.

      1. John Barleycorn

        The final rinse cycle of my dishwasher is nearly complete.

        My copper pot awaits the delightful chemical synergy it will sacrifice to enable the chicken and the cow to transcend their sacrifices as the brilliantly colored egg yolks and copious quantities of butter transport my soul to Bangalore as it laughs its ass-less colon off to pin a full fledgling Brahmin PR stripe in its place.

        P.S. Did you get to do any donuts in the six wheeler this morning?

      2. Patrick Maupin

        To answer your question, no, no one has ever posted a Youtube video thank you to me, nor do I ever expect (or would I ever advise) anyone to do so.

        I can see it now:

        “Scott got me off SCOTT…. FREE!!

        Get it? Scott… Free…?

        Yeah but in all seriousness, Scott GreenBlattBaum… Field, I think. He’s your man!”

        And if someone did, I would immediately tell them to take it down as foolish and utterly inappropriate.


    2. Mark W. Bennett

      I take it as a given that Ostrow has kicked any cocaine problem that he might have had, which is why it’s weird—rather than, say, unworthy of note—that he writes like a coked-up lawyer.

      P.S. You don’t really put copper pots in the dishwasher, do you?

      1. John Barleycorn

        You talking to ME? Yeah you, yes YOU! You either got some pretty enlarged testicular fortitude there Bennett or more likely the perspiration has been flowing off your collar like donkey piss ever since you figured you were man enough to click send, telling me how to wash my hollandaise making copper pot motherfucker!

        I bet your pussy ass copper pot is flat bottomed and ain’t even seen a hundred kilograms of butter yet. Heck, I even bet you use your delicate little prissy hand washed flat bottomed copper pot as a vase to show off the Valentines Day flowers your mother sends you every year, you are so proud of it. Ain’t that so?

        Well, let me tell you something about copper pots Mr. Bennett.
        My copper pot goes Mano-a-Mano a few thousand rounds with the wooden handled Whisk of Stalingrad several times a month and likes it and it ain’t got no flat bottom either.

        You are lucky I just woke up from my conjugal Sunday nap and this isn’t Tuesday or something, as I just finished sucking some dried remnants of hollandaise out of my woman’s pajamas. That, the fact that I didn’t over cook the ham this morning and it is movie night puts me in a pretty chipper mood otherwise I would be headed your way with the Whisk of Stalingrad and my hollandaise making copper pot, as we speak, to settle this matter wherever it is you live.

        So let me give you some free advice about copper pots dear comment readers before Bennett’s deception takes hold. You aren’t fooling me with your trickery Bennett.

        That’s an Old wives’ tale that Bennet would have you fall victim too, that has been going around for the last thirty years or so, about copper pots and the dishwasher. So I would be careful if I were you not to let your expense become his gain.

        It is possible that Bennet’s intentions are harmless and he is just joking around or he may simply be unaware and has fallen victim to the flat bottomed copper pot manufactures marketeers wanting him to feel special about himself and his copper pot but it is much more likely something sinister is afoot.

        Besides, fuck them flat bottom copper pots all together anyway. Just because Bennett is chicken shouldn’t prevent you from celebrating your heritage with pride or starting the next new/old thing by going with a fully round bowl bottomed style with a nicely folded and pressed rim to truly bring out the wild side of your hollandaise.

        What are you afraid of?
        You can still get the ones without any handles and only the copper ring expertly incorporated on the top of one side.

        So if you are feeling nostalgic and have lost or had your first round bowl bottomed hollandaise making copper pot stollen relax.

        If you are a young hipster guy or chick in law school or just starting out on your own and want to bring back the greatest decade in a century better yet because with the right round bowl bottomed hollandaise making copper pot at hand and if your generation brings back the bush there will be no stoping you no matter who sits on the Supreme Court and our esteemed host starts writing even more depressing posts about those silly bastards then he did today. Who knows with any luck your generation will get it right this time around.

        The copper ring is optional, of course, but it is indeed helpful if you, for whatever reason, happen to also use your round bottomed copper hollandaise making pot to show off and share a few eight balls of cocaine while entertaining your guests just like some deviant lawless people used to do back in the 70’s when the Dick, Jerry, and Jimmy show was still going on.

        Somehow along the way however, for reasons that still have yet to be fully explained, that Nancy chick became First Lady and that actor dude whatever his name was took the thrown and cocaine wasn’t so sexy anymore.

        You see them capitalist oligarchs and their puppet chemists in the CIA created crack even though copper was still affordable. And next thing you know everybody was certain crack created crime out of thin air or so we were told at the time and to this day people are still making jokes at the expense of good old fashioned cocaine.

        So anyway, here is the deal with copper pots and the dishwasher…I do recommend the dog tongue pre-wash if you make your own dishwasher soap. Which, if you are smart, you probably don’t because thanks to all the misinformation floating around out there making your own dishwasher soap is grounds for a search warrant these days especially if observed by some stainless steel pan toting suburban soccer mom who happens to stop by seeking donations to the fucking disadvantaged children’s bicycle helmet fund or some such shit and you let her in while you are loading your homemade dishwasher soap into the dozen ice cube trays on the dining room table as you write her a check so she will go away.

        That’s just the way it goes and if the cops find any residue under the nicely folded and pressed rim of your hand washed copper hollandaise making pot you will be fucked unless of course you are wise enough to hire a competent attorney or were wise enough to throw that copper pot in the dishwasher in the first place.

        Oh shit! Now, now Mr. Bennett…you wouldn’t happen to be doing some saboteur marketing via slipping in some classic copper pot washing misinformation would you?

        Granted comment readers, copper has some sensibilities softer than sniveling toddlers but go right on ahead and throw that fucker in there and set the dial to “Heavy Wash”.

        Copper don’t rust, it don’t whine and it can take the heat. And be careful if you listen to Bennett or the next thing you know he will be telling you not to forget to scrub behind your ears every time you walk out of his office after replenishing your retainer with him.

        Well it’s time clean the kitchen but it is movie night and on hollandaise Sundays I get to have ice cream instead of popcorn. Lucky me.

        I dare you, I double dog dare you to make a joke about that when I am cleaning the Whisk from Leningrad tough guy.

          1. John Barleycorn

            Holly nihilistic bat-burglars isn’t it past your bed time?

            Would love to stay and chat some more but I need to keep a close eye on the freezer until the movie starts because I am pretty sure someone is conspiring with a canine to put together some sort of a pincher maneuver to somehow secure the last half gallon of the vanilla carmel swirl and leave me with a half pint of freezer burned strawberry and I will not be having any of that tonight without a fight.

            Oh yeah, speaking of first aide kits you tell the boss of this here place here to stop picking on poor defenseless lawyers and first time commenters or he will never be invited back to appear on that Bloomberg TeeVeee show again and carry on about how nice everyone is to each other on social media platforms and other various assorted bullshit even if he officially changes his last name to curmudgeon.

      2. Kathleen Casey

        Hello Mark!

        This may be equivalent to the dry drunk syndrome. Still not thinking normally. It shows doesn’t it?

  3. Barry Sheridan

    Oh dear! I suppose this means no Christmas card for you this year. Just as well you have broad shoulders.

  4. Vincent Messina

    Maybe this is a dumb question, but my assumption, as it relates to a lawyer, is that a lawyer is pretty sharp. Why, then, would any lawyer post such a rant in a public forum? This situation, as well as that other scenario I read about first on Mr. Bennets blog, the dude that stole peoples content, are absolutely insane. Are these people unaware that this type of “content” sticks around for a long long time? Seriously, if I were to seek out the services of a legal expert, and I came across either of these rants, I would certainly take my business elsewhere. No?

    Don’t get me wrong either. I love the entertainment value, particularly how you all handle it. But I mean c’mon man. It shouldn’t take a marketing genius to know that presenting yourself in this manner is really bad for your reputation.

    That said, I am well aware of the existence of narcissistic personality disorders, as well as the notion of the sociopath next door, but serial killers and ego maniacs are typically very adept at covering their tracks. Didn’t the BTK killer evade capture for over 30 years? He wouldn’t have exposed himself in the manner these two lawyers did. No?

  5. david

    I can recommend someone for Mr Barleycorn . . . not to cure him, but to exploit him. Clearly a brain such as his is waisted on whatever he is doing. And . . . hollandaise sauce is, indeed, the ducks nuts.

  6. C. N. Nevets

    Why is it that narcissists, who spend so much time focused on themselves, are so utterly un-self-aware? It’s one thing to puff up one’s accomplishments in one’s own mind. It’s another thing to completely mistake one’s gaffs for said accomplishments.

      1. Vincent Messina

        Actually, as a matter of “protocol”, clinical narcissistic personalities, by nature, have a built in mechanism that protects their own self image from any hint of reality, their own or anyone else’s.

        In fact, Mr. Greenfield, and the entire saga unfolding on this blog, would be a major shock to a narcissists system. With that, the shock would result in a desperate need to defend, but in reality, deep inside their mind, it is a desperate need to hide the fact that they were just revealed, publicly, in a very bad way. This would surely explain the incoherent, illegible and otherwise grammatically incorrect rants, that seem to be never ending, and clearly are not shining a positive light on the man.

        Who, as a sane and competent professional, would want that?

        A normal person would first NOT post like that on a public blog, and two, would stop after the first one, having become aware of the fact that rage got the best of them, and they are digging their hole deeper and deeper with every comment.

        In any event, I am not a licensed psychiatrist. I just read a lot about this shit because these people fascinate me.

        1. SHG Post author

          In any event, I am not a licensed psychiatrist.

          No shit.

          I just read a lot about this shit because these people fascinate me.

          Yes, that must be it.

  7. DaveL

    I always know that a person on the internet, especially a lawyer, is a force to be reckoned with when they use ‘enhanced’ punctuation such as multiple exclamation marks and overgrown ellipses.

    1. SHG Post author

      I find that more true when they treble the concluding exclamation marks. When it’s only two, they just look dumb.

  8. Catherine Mulcahey

    I want to thank you for the entertainment value of this post and the ones about Carl David Ceder!!! Should I put that in a Youtube video?

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