Not all of you. Maybe even not most of you. But for those of you, young men, often with mad coding skillz which are much in demand these days, I have something to tell you and it’s going to make you sad. You smell.
I get it. The homeless Jesus look is all the rage in Silicon Valley. Recreated Pink Floyd tees, dark jeans to hide the grime. Shoes that are the foot equivalent of shit posting. The studied appearance of no fucks to give. Yes, it’s a look. But you smell.
Shower. Every day. Wash your hair. Every day. Cut your finger nails, even if you feel some compulsion to give the appearance of an 80’s coke fiend, unless you’re gender transitioning.
Much as your skills may be in demand, people do not want to sit next to someone who smells. Your boss doesn’t want to be in the same room as someone who smells. You will lose a gig, be denied a promotion, not get that post with that new team you so desperately want. And you want to know why? Because you smell.
Women prefer guys who don’t smell bad. Sure, they may not notice in a bar or on eHorny, but they will the next morning.
You don’t think you smell? Of course not. You’re nose-blind to yourself. We all are. But when no one ever gets in your space, it’s not out of respect for you. It’s because you smell.
There is a good chance no one will say anything. It’s rude and embarrassing to tell someone they smell. And there’s an alternative: just stay far away from them. But you will miss opportunity and never know why. You will suffer consequences that, when you get older and decide that a daily shower is a wondrous thing, you never know about. There will be no going back, no second chance to make a non-stinky impression.
Hygiene matters for a great many reasons. But most of them won’t occur to you until you’re older, when you suffer for your youthful indiscretions. So someone has to tell you. Someone who is willing to say the words you need to hear but no one will risk for fear of your wrath. You smell. Deal with it.
You’ll thank me someday. Everyone else will thank me now.