While Mike at Crime & Federalism has addressed societal demands that the male of the species assume the passive role if he’s to be accepted, the question remains how we are to rear our boys to reach that goal. City Attorney for Edmond, Oklahoma, Steve Murdock, think he’s got the answer. From KFOR :
EDMOND, OK — Squabbles on the sidelines are certainly nothing new. But in Edmond it appears the City Attorney’s Office is taking a fight among 10 year olds to a whole new level. An Edmond pre-teen is facing a misdemeanor charge in Edmond Municipal Court for assault and battery. In August after football practice, two 10 year olds got into a scuffle. One of them threw a punch.
A football coach called 911. Seriously. Apparently, the criteria for football coaches in Edmond aren’t the same as when I was a kid. While one might think that some coaches go overboard in pushing kids to the limit and beyond, and I do believe that can be the case, I suspect that someone who takes on the responsibility of coaching football for little kids would be required to see. That’s hard to do with one’s head stuck up their butt. Perhaps the coach didn’t feel capable of handling this situation for fear that he might soil his skirt?
Eyewitnesses say the punch was unprovoked.
However, the alleged puncher says he was simply standing up for himself after previous bullying.
The defendant’s dad, Vincent Marcheselli, admits he advised his son to “sock him in the face” in order to stand up for himself.
He says he teaches all three of his sons to stand up to bullies.
This father’s advice to his son is classic Americana. It’s the same advice I gave my son, with the caveat that I told mine to never start the problem, but if another kid starts it, you finish it. And he did, with one punch. It was a little league game, and my son was playing second base. The kid in center field was a year ahead of him in school and like to bump him in the hallway.
My son felt a stone hit him from behind. He turned and told the center fielder to quit it. He felt another stone hit him from behind. He turned and walked up to the kid and again told him to stop. Or else. The kid threw one last stone with my son facing him. My kid hauled off and knocked him flat on his back. The center fielder started to cry, even though there’s no crying in baseball.
As it happened, I was standing next to the center fielder’s father when this happened. He turned to me and said, “that was a good punch,” and then ran off to comfort his son. And that was the last time the other kid bumped into mine in the hallway. Lest anyone think I’m sexist, I gave my daughter the same advice.
To their credit, the police in Edmond understood.
“Edmond Police tried to do the right thing and let the parents handle it. But I guess the Edmond City Attorney doesn’t believe that parents in Edmond can take care of their own kids and discipline their own kids.”
Instead, Murdock thought it prudent to charge the fifth grader with a misdemeanor. You know, so he doesn’t grow up thinking he’s entitled to defend himself from a bully. In fairness, there’s a question of whether this was the opportune time for a kid who’s been subjected to bullying to throw a punch. Based on the eyewitness statements, it appears that the “defendant” threw a punch when the bully hadn’t, though there’s no information on whether something was said, or something transpired, between them precipitating the punch. Maybe the kid was wrong to throw the punch, whether altogether or at that moment. It’s unclear.
What is clear is the message. Standing up for oneself will get you prosecuted. Defending oneself is a crime. The only acceptable solution to problems is to cry to the “authorities”. Perhaps Murdock’s father never told him how boys should work out their differences. Perhaps Murdock believes that we need to teach the male of the species to be passive. The point is clear: the iconic moment in a boy’s life when he stands up to a bully is now criminalized.
And as for the coach, will he give the most valuable player award to the young man who expresses the deepest empathy?
H/T ABA Journal
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You know, I’m willing to grant that bullying can be a bit hard for an adult to figure out. When I was in grade school, there was one kid in my class whose mother was always complaining that the other kids were hitting him. If you didn’t know better, you’d think we were bullying him, but the truth is that he was the biggest kid in class, and he was the bully. We weren’t hitting him, we were hitting him back.
Of course, this was the ’70’s, before all the schools were run by pussies, so the teachers just gave him a shot of bourbon to dull the pain and told him to suck it up. Well, no, it wasn’t quite that old school, but they were smart enough to figure out which kid was causing the problem and deal with it without involving the police or, God help us, lawyers.
It probably helped that this was a parochial school, so the teachers were allowed to smack us around if we go out of hand. I remember that during our weekly church service the principal would sneak up behind kids that were unruly and hit them over the head with a hymnal… Come to think of it, that probably wasn’t a good thing to be doing because all the bones are still kind of soft at that age…
I have no problem with the concept that a 10-year-old’s fist-fight should not be a criminal matter.
But I do have a problem with uncritical acceptance of the claim by the punch-thrower that he is the bullied one.
I was bullied as a kid. On the few occasions when adults became involved — usually because they were bystanders, not because I involved them — the bullies always had an excuse that amount to “he started it.” The person who cries bully first may well be the bully.
My experience is that the guy who gets caught is defending himself. No one has their eye out for the instigator, but once something happens, then people take notice.
So, to be clear: neighbors being loud, call the police lest violence ensue; 10 year old being physically assaulted, let them duke it out.
Now you got it. There is almost no reason under the sun to call the cops to break up a fight between 10 year olds. Same goes for 5 year olds, by the way, provided they are unarmed.
Precisely. The bully makes sure that his activities are the sort that won’t get him into trouble when adults are around, and saves his worst for when they’re not.
The victim just reacts.
“Perhaps the coach didn’t feel capable of handling this situation for fear that he might soil his skirt?”
Really?
Really.