Marketing philosopher Seth Godin wrote a book called All Marketers Are Liars, The Publisher’s Weekly review of the book sums it up this way:

Advertising’s fundamental theorem-that perception trumps reality-informs this dubious marketing primer. Journalist and marketing guru Godin, . . . contends that, in an age when consumers are motivated by irrational wants instead of objective needs and “there is almost no connection between what is actually there and what we believe,” presenting stolid factual information about a product is a losing strategy. Instead, marketers should tell “great stories” about their products that pander to consumers’ self-regard and worldview. Examples include expensive wine glasses that purport to improve the taste of wine, despite scientific proof to the contrary; Baby Einstein videotapes that are “useless for babies but…satisfy a real desire for their parents”; and organic marketing schemes, which amount to “telling ourselves a complex lie about food, the environment and the safety of our families.” Because consumers prefer fantasy to the truth, the marketer’s duty is to be “authentic” rather than honest, to “live the lie, fully and completely” so that “all the details line up”-that is, to make their falsehoods convincing rather than transparent.

Via Larry Bodine, the American Bar Association announced that it has named Chris Gloede as its first Chief Marketing Officer.  And you thought the ABA was going to be the moral compass that kept lawyers from veering off the edge of the earth into the abyss.

The ABA has been bleeding 2,000 and 4,000 members per year since 2008, when membership stood at 408,000. ABA membership isn’t growing at the same rate as the profession, said former ABA President Carolyn Lamm, a partner in the Washington office of White & Case. The association doesn’t even represent half of all U.S. lawyers anymore, she said.

Was it not cool enough, sexy enough, cutting edgy enough?  Well, no, it wasn’t.  It wasn’t anything like that, despite the ABA Journal’s laughable play at being Rebellious.  But then, nobody ever thought the ABA would, or should, be cool.  For a very long time, lawyers have asked for only a few things of their bar associations, all of which are tied up in their utility to the profession.  They do nothing to keep the profession honest and viable. 

From solos to biglaw, business has been bad, no awful, along with our honor, integrity and prestige.  Law students want their money back, and desperate lawyers will promote their being a bully if it gets them a paying client.  The race to the bottom was destined to happen unless someone, something, stopped the lowest and worst of the profession from doing what came naturally. 

An entire industry, manned largely by people who neither know nor care what it means to be a professional, has grown like a fungus to offer simplistic, bordering on idiotic, advice to lawyers on how to get rich.  And the lawyers, proving conclusively that they are venal and desperate as the public believes them to be, have become sheep in the hands of these marketers, turning a learned profession into the oldest profession.

Granted, the ABA maintained its reputation as bastion of the stodgy, self-satisfied, upper crusty gang.  Smirking at the lowly lawyer whose firm lacked a thousand secretaries, the mandarins of The Bar patted themselves on the back for having the last place on earth where spats were fashionable.  And they can’t imagine why members were leaving in droves.

The reason lawyers are leaving is the same reason lawyers haven’t joined for years, even decades.  The American Bar Association isn’t relevant.  The American Bar Association does not matter to the practice of law.   Nobody wears spats anymore.

It’s not that we couldn’t use a bar association to guide and help the legal profession to move forward.  In fact, lawyers are in desperate need of help, from the pursuit of excellence to the maintenance of honor and integrity.  Perhaps we’ve never needed it more.  But as this announcement shows, the ABA won’t be the entity to do so.

Instead, the ABA has hired a Chief Marketing Officer.  As lawyers leap off the curb, diving headlong into the gutter, the ABA wants to be right there when we go “splat.” 

The Culture of Lawyers and the legal system face systemic challenges in the digital age the likes of which we’ve never seen.  Business is down.  Respect is nearly non-existent.  Platitudes and doubletalk substitute for professionalism, and excellence is a forgotten commodity in the age of blogs and websites directed toward the grand lie, that we are all the most wonderful lawyers ever because Google says so.

The choice was leadership or salesmanship.  The ABA has made its choice. 

Anybody want to buy a Legal Rebel skateboard? It dices. It slices. Is that it for our future?