Tuesday Talk*: Dedicated Followers of Fashion

For lawyers, our courtroom attire is a uniform, spanning the color universe of gray to blue and seeking to accomplish two things: make us appear serious and credible to the judge and jury and not distract from the more important things happening. We strive to create an impression that enhances our function without undermining that function.

This goes for all lawyers, regardless of gender, although men have it far easier than women given our clearer options and fewer possible fashion faux pas. Our shoe choices are black or brown, and the biggest issue at the toe end is plain, cap or brogue. No peeking.

Are we really so constrained by fashion protocol? Should we be? Is it just another manifestation of “toxic masculinity”? It’s one thing to take a risk when the only person who might suffer is you, but when we’re there solely for the sake of a client, is it irresponsible to risk our client’s interest to express our own fashion sense?

In a rant that inadvertently spans the full panoply of psychoses in the DSM-4 (before the apologist fifth edition), Alexandra Rowland takes us down the path of male fashion history and lack of impulse control.


Her personal problems aside, she makes some actual points.


While her fury appears directed at men’s inability to “look cute,” a concept wholly foreign to the male mystique, her point about men’s fashion being stuck in an aesthetic determined centuries ago has merit. Why can’t men wear fuchsia with britches if that’s what pleases them and they desperately desire to give peacocks a run for their money?

Personally, the ability to grab the next suit in line without having to think about it is a virtue. Fashion is the last place I choose to waste attention, and the notion of having ten suits, all exactly the same, makes complete sense to me. But then I get to wondering, “What’s the point of wearing a tie?” It doesn’t serve any purpose, other than to be there around one’s neck because a tie is supposed to be there. I’m not suggesting we do away with ties, but I have no clue what purpose it serves other than to conform.


So Rowland’s horse in this race is that men don’t appreciate the feelings of women being catcalled because we are “aching just to BE SEEN, to feel cute or special or unique.” Are we desperate for the cuteness validation that women feel? Are you? If that’s true, then it would seem women would desire catcalling to validate their cutiosity, and yet that appears to be the explanation for Rowland’s visceral outrage. Or is it just that she demands the opportunity for women to catcall back and men just aren’t cute enough to deserve it?

Gentlemen, are you aching to feel cute? Ladies, would a fella in fuchsia britches compel you to scream, “hubba, hubba”? Or has the male wardrobe stagnated by natural selection, relieving us of the burden of having to put an iota of thought into our attire beyond two buttons or three?

*Tuesday Talk rules apply.

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59 thoughts on “Tuesday Talk*: Dedicated Followers of Fashion”

  2. MLA

    Lady here. If you are in a glam rock or hair band, you can wear fuschia trousers.

    Otherwise, please no.

    I do have a (male) colleague who wears bright pink, yellow, or green pants to work almost every day, and as you might expect, a huge number of the conversations of which he is the subject are about his pants and very few of them are about his work. So I guess if he *was* aching for women to notice his cute(?) outfits more, he got it.

    1. SHG Post author

      The peacocks on the golf course occasionally favor those color trousers, occasionally with little ducks on them. But that’s probably not the type of guy you’re talking about, and they would never wear them to work.

        1. SHG Post author

          Last time I played golf in FL, my wife was taking a practice swing with a fairway wood when an alligator crawled out of the lake toward her. I was in the cart, and drove as fast as I could toward her, which made her yell at me for breaking her concentration. Apparently, her yelling scared the alligator off, and he went back into the muck. My pants went from khaki to multicolor, and she still refuses to believe why. She’s a tough woman, my wife.

          1. MLA

            Now that I think about it, I have, on more than zero occasions, had to pull students out of the vicinity of alligators. Maybe my colleague is just going for maximum preparation.

            I amend my above statement: glam or hair band, or if fuchsia pants would be practical because your job involves routine contact with alligators.

            (Also, that’s amazing, and amazingly Florida-y.)

          2. Lucas Beauchamp

            I’m happy to hear that you sped towards her rather than away when you saw the alligator behind her.

    2. PAV

      Another lady adding a +1. A sharp-dressed man is very fine to look at.

      The fashion Ms. Rowland links first, with the frills and gold…it’s still masculine. A man wearing that would not be “cute”. The “cute” version of that sort of fashion has dozens of lavender bows on it and far more lace.

  3. DaveL

    Far be it from me to mansplain to Ms. Rowland, who despite a complete stranger to me, is still a woman and thus better qualified to discuss my own feelings than I am.

  4. Jim Tyre

    But then I get to wondering, “what’s the point of wearing a tie?” It doesn’t serve any purpose, other than to be there around one’s neck because a tie is supposed to be there.

    Au contraire, mon ami. Many years ago, I tried a trademark infringement case. The bunny logo of my guy, the small guy, was alleged to have infringed WB’s bugs bunny logo. I bought some WB licensed ties, had others custom made with my guys’ logo. Swapped them out several times a day, so that the jury always could see the obvious differences. I won, with several jurors commenting on my effective use of non-verbal communications.

    (To which you’ll reply, “Cool story, Bro.”

  5. JAV

    It’s like this lady was traumatized by a sack suit in her childhood. Not to mention she completely ignores the fact that there are still subcultures of dandies all over the world. Maybe men wear what they actually like*?

    *I know once I knot my bow tie, I look sharp!

      1. Jim Tyre

        My mentor when I was a baby lawyer always wore bow ties. We were in court one day. Opposing counsel, who was an experienced lawyer, was clearly flustered in his attempt to convince the judge that what my mentor was saying was wrong. OC was so flustered that he blurted out that my mentor’s argument was as phony as his bow tie.

        Mentor didn’t say a word. With counsel table being slightly behind the lectern where OC was, so OC couldn’t see it, mentor reached up, silently untied and retied the bow. With one hand. It’s a damn miracle that everyone who saw it (including, of course, the judge) didn’t just bust a gut laughing. OC’s credibility was shot, and mentor won the motion (which he wold have anyway). I guess this is my day for telling true non-verbal communication tales.

  6. delurking

    I thought “Toxic Masculinity” was actually a character trait to avoid having, but now that I know it is broad enough to cover having a simple wardrobe, I can just not worry about it.

    Hey SHG, I’m pretty sure driving around in a Healey is the automotive version of wearing pink pants, so it would appear you aren’t toxically masculine.

    2. JAV

      Something that really bothers me about her argument is not only that wardrobe is reflective of an attitude for most men, but that Brummel’s suit, a modern suit, and cargo pant and hoodies are “functionally the same”.

      The lady is crackers.

  7. Rojas

    Out here in the Panther city with strong ties to the development of west Texas oil fields there was a continuous mixing of the new monied with old. With that came social tensions so they had to develop a code of sorts. It was said the only unforgivable social crime was to overdress. And for that I am thankful.

    2. Anonymous Coward

      Is Ms. Rowland projecting? Personally neither I nor any of my friends have ever felt the desire to catcall (bad manners), or dress “cute”. Then again I work in IT and witty T shirts are the outer fashion limit of a culture that defines an extrovert as ” looks at your shoes when talking to you”.
      As for men’s fashion, why not blame Prince Albert too? Perhaps we are being womynsplained.

  9. B. McLeod

    I had never heard of this Brummel person. Her drawings do not appear to reflect “fashion” as it existed for common folk.

  11. L. Phillips

    Many, many moons ago as a young Marine about to complete my terms of service I briefly considered law school. A civilian friend working as an ADA in Orange County California suggested I attend a prosecution he thought would be interesting. Arriving at the appointed time I found that he was appearing in behalf of the State dressed in a cream colored suit with narrow vertical pink stripes. It was later revealed that his new wife had felt the passions of spring fashion – it was April after all – had purchased the suit and had offered certain attractive favors if he wore it.

    During what appeared to me to be an administrative phase of the proceedings with no jury present and only me in the gallery the judge gently referred to my friend as “counsel in the ice cream suit”. After a brief recess for an unrelated reason my friend reappeared in an ill fitting navy blue chalk stripe, the judge chose to ignore his cream colored shoes, and the trial went on. The State prevailed. I never got a straight story on where the navy suit came from.

    1. SHG Post author

      There is a very serious lesson in there, but I’m reluctant to point it out for fear that I will never again be served a hot fudge sundae.

  12. Black Bellamy

    Alexandra Rowland gonna lecture me about men’s fashion? Please! I lived through the 80s. I wore a lime green leisure suit with lapels out to HERE. I wore that with a scarf and a floppy hat. I went to work like that. I owned clogs unironically.

  13. Noxx

    I don’t know about her theories of the male ego, but I’ll tell you, there are plenty of fashion standards I’ve never understood or adhered to, the necktie being chief among them. It’s inconceivable to me that a rational human would tie a loop around their neck and leave it hanging, utterly nonfunctional except in possibly damaging ways, merely as a caste symbol.

    And it’s a lousy caste symbol in a world where billionaires routinely wear hoodies and T shirts. Talk about visible oppression, here wear this leash kid. Ugh.

    2. RedditLaw

      With neckties, stick with simplicity: 100% rayon clip-on, just like Flounder. It won’t hurt your neck, and you won’t look any worse than the average public defender.

  15. Hunting Guy

    I wonder if the plaintiff in 489 F. 2d 809 – Scotch Whisky Association v. Barton Distilling Company wore kilts? You can get the tartans in subdued colors.

  17. AE

    She’s right about most of the facts, but her interpretation is twisted to fit into the cause of the minute, in this case ‘toxic masculinity’.

    I’ve researched this, because I’ve found the historical economics of textiles to be interesting, and I hate things around my neck (autism, #%$ yeah). I’d love to write in depth about this but:
    1. This is not my hotel.
    2. I have a job interview in a few hours that I have to prep for and drive to. I am wearing my Brummel-inspired torture device now.
    Brummel was the original LOOK AT ME guy, and he reshaped western men’s clothing aesthetics to his whims, but the longevity there isn’t about making people bland, or being toxic.
    This started at a time when fabric/cloth was a major expense. It was about showing off that you had the disposable income and you could wear impractical clothes. Laborers couldn’t wear these clothes at work. They couldn’t even afford them. This was a class issue. This was the early stage of what we now call conspicuous consumption.

  18. Chris Ryan

    as my father always told me, and i now tell my kids, there is a time and place for everything. While I am not a lawyer, my job does involve courtroom testimony and the courtroom is now about me feeling cute, fashionable, or anything shy of whats best for my client. Sometimes that’s a suit and tie, sometimes, that’s a plaid shirt and jeans. I don’t make the decision, my lawyer does. I don’t even pick the color shirt or tie.

    now the fencing strip….that’s the place for gaudy fashions and annoying colors =)

  19. Fubar

    Our shoe choices are black or brown, and the biggest issue at the toe end is plain, cap or brogue. No peeking.

  21. C. Dove

    I know I’m late to the party, but so what. Your post brought several lawyers to mind.

    San Francisco is a weird place when it comes to court fashion. The court once issued a memo to the bar basically mandating lawyers to wear something other than tracksuits to court. (Several members of the Public Defender’s Office were known to “dress up” for court in their sweatpants.) The others were an odd assortment of interesting fashion choices: One is a dandy: deep mauve suit, alligator skin portfolio, matching loafers, no socks, and jewelry. The second occasionally wore a dark Kelly green suit, purple shirt and tie, and old cowboy boots. (When not dressed as the Joker, he’d basically come to court in Western wear.) The third was balding with a pony tail (like a convertible with the top down), old corduroy blazer, either turquoise bolo tie or standard tie with salmon tie bar, and old cowboy boots.

    Fashion!

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