Much of the law cheaps out by making a test of language and conduct subject to the “reasonable person,” a theoretically objective standard that tests a claim against what some mythical “reasonable person” would think. Its purpose being that the law does not require a person to conduct themselves in such a way as no claim of harm is based on the most the sensibilities of the most “delicate flower.”

There’s always someone who will claim harm, offense, trauma or victimhood over something that most people would shrug off. Call me a dope and I won’t sue. Give me a little shove on the subway and I won’t run to the cops. When I get a papercut, I don’t call Turkewitz to sue. There is an old legal maxim, de minimis non curat lex, the law doesn’t bother with trifles. Reasonable people don’t lose their heads over every petty slight. Continue reading →

It might have helped had the United States Olympic men’s epee team not blown the team competition. They went into the third round up against Japan by seven touches. They ended up losing by six touches, Curtis McDowald giving up eight touches in his final bout, as he stood there, dancing, watching, guaranteeing that the US would lose.

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It was going to be our savior. It was going to remove the human factor, the bias whether explicit or implicit, from the mix. Artificial intelligence would rid us of the inherent racism of humans that we spent decades trying to shake but just never seemed to go away. After all, an algo can’t be racist. An algo has no feelings. An algo can’t love or hate. An algo is just an algo. Algorithms would save us.

Neither “woke” nor “social justice” were in vogue yet, so it would be unfair to characterize its proponents as such. They were against racism in the legal system, as were we all, but they weren’t “anti-racists” as that word is used today to characterize the new racism. That was back when eliminating racism was the goal rather than substituting new racism for old racism. And algos were the answer. Continue reading →

National Public Radio, or “npr” as it currently styles itself, was created by an act of Congress in 1967. Its purpose was to provide a channel through which higher culture could be provided the public that might never see daylight otherwise, for it wouldn’t enjoy the popularity of a sitcom or a Big Mac. Its purpose was to “constitute an expression of diversity and excellence” for “all the citizens of the Nation,” to take “creative risks” and “addresses the needs of unserved and underserved audiences, particularly children and minorities.”

NPR appears to have taken this mission to heart. Continue reading →

It’s a rite of passage for law school graduates to complain how stupid, pointless, expensive and traumatic the bar exam is. And to some extent, they’re not wrong, even if their enlightened self-interest prevents them from understanding its purpose in the bigger picture of finding some mechanism, imperfect and open to grievance as it may be, to determine whether someone has the minimum knowledge to be handed the monopolistic responsibility for other people’s lives and fortunes.

You know all those really bad lawyers? They passed the bar. And if they’re so stupid and passed, you should be able to as well. And if you can’t pass after multiple tries, there is a very strong likelihood that you aren’t the legal genius you, your mother and your friends on social media believe you are. Spare us the myriad excuses for why you didn’t. We’ve heard them all. No lawyer ever won a case by making the best excuses for shitty lawyering. Continue reading →

It’s long been clear that what was once called “Shaken Baby Syndrome,” later renamed “Abusive Head Trauma” to pretend it’s not the same old sham, was nothing more than a phony diagnosis wrapped in pseudo-medical lingo to manufacture a crime when something terrible happened to a baby but no one knew what. After all, it was a baby, so someone must pay, even if no one did anything wrong.

The “syndrome” consisted of three medical criteria, “the trifecta of brain bleeding, swelling, and bleeding behind the eye.” Obviously, someone had to do something bad to a baby to make such horrifying things happen. The problem was that it wasn’t medically true and could just as well not be caused by anyone’s conduct. Continue reading →

It wasn’t my niche of law so I didn’t pay much attention to the caselaw relating to the CDC’s imposition of an eviction moratorium. I didn’t understand how such a thing could fall within the CDC’s authority, and even so, I didn’t understand how a governmental taking of private property could be constitutional. This isn’t to say that renters weren’t in desperate straits, but that doesn’t mean other people’s property was available for the government to give away. Still, there were people far more knowledgeable, and who cared more, about the issue, so I left it off my plate.

Come this Saturday, the moratorium ends. It could be extended, although that just kicks the can down the road. At that point, something is going to happen. At the moment, the federal government has a program to assist renters who can’t afford to pay. Whether it’s adequate or finely tuned is another matter, but not one relevant to this discussion. Continue reading →

If it came from the college to which you applied, it might be good news. If it came from some business you never heard of, it would be a scam. But when it comes from the Pasco County sheriff, what the hell is it?

“We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected…”

This is about as heartwarming as your telephone company opening their letter with “To serve you better,” which is invariably followed by something good for them and very bad for you. Continue reading →

American gymnast Simone Biles is 24 years old. She’s four feet, eight inches tall. She can do things in gymnastics that totally amaze me and people who know more about the sport than I do say she’s the greatest gymnast of all time, at least until the next GOAT appears as history has taught us over and over.

I have no reason to doubt that she’s the best, but she’s not a demigod. She’s a young woman who is great at gymnastics. On the one hand, the prevailing binary paradigm put her on a pedestal too high for any human being. On the other hand, she basked in her glory, which she was both entitled to do and earned with years of extraordinary hard work and suffering, some of it inexcusable, and dedication. Continue reading →

A deputy out of Crazy Joe’s old office got a bright idea.

A Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office deputy is under investigation for allegedly posing as a defense attorney in a failed attempt to trick a woman and arrest her.

Andy Marcantel, a partner with the Attorneys for Freedom Law Firm, said that Deputy Jeff Miller pretended to be a lawyer at his firm on a phone call four months ago.

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