Silent Night

Over the past two days, I’ve had much to say about the relationship of the tragic murder of two cops in New York City, the insane and inflammatory rhetoric and blame by PBA President Patrick Lynch, the similarly insane threats made by other crazies against police, and the ratcheting up of antagonism all around.

But I haven’t been able to do so because of computer problems. I’ve been on the road this week, and for reasons that have no good explanation, my laptop picked two days ago to decide that its operating system didn’t like its programs, and so they failed to function.

The failures were pervasive, and even now as I type it’s via a few workarounds that I’ve found, using highly limited functionality. It’s not good.  I blame Microsoft and Dell, the manufacturer of this ultrabook, not that blaming anyone does any good.  After hours of talking to a pretty good tech guy at Dell, it appears that the answer is that Windows 8.1 has killed this computer. It’s far too limited, and too difficult, to serve its intended purpose, and they have no cure.

I could, of course, just borrow my daughter’s MacBook Pro, but it’s having issues too, so please don’t tell me about Apple. It’s not the point. It’s not the cure. This isn’t a post about what computer is your favorite, or what OS is best, or even how much everyone hates Microsoft or Dell. No, it’s a post for Christmas, even though I’ve buried the lede as deeply as any writer can.

As is my norm, I’m up well before the sun this Christmas morning. I’ve gotten enough of the computer working to type out this post.  There is a half pot of coffee left, and everyone else remains fast asleep.  I’m very lucky to have my family with me, both my kids, Dr. SJ, and even a friend of my son’s from school who I’ve “adopted” for the week.  He needed better parents, at least for a few days, and I’m happy to fill the gap.

During this quiet time, I usually ponder the various issues that fill the pages of SJ. I read the stuff I usually read. Check out the links people send me. Respond to comments posted overnight. Type a post or two if the mood strikes, which it almost always does.

This is my fun time, when I indulge my interests, my view of the world as reflected in this, my private little space on the internets.  I realize that many, especially newcomers here, think SJ is here for their amusement, and that’s why I disabuse them of the notion with extreme prejudice. It’s still weird to me how people impute motive and purpose to SJ based on their feelings, without the slightest thought that this isn’t all about them. It’s all about me.

But my abilities here are dependent on technology.  I’m often thought of as a Luddite because of my failure to adore technology as much of so many readers and pundits who laud its glory. Hardly. I’m fairly good with tech, and use it (and have) constantly. That doesn’t mean I don’t recognize its limits, or siren’s song seductiveness, that compels me to remind lawyers it’s just a tool, only as good as any tool that works when it works, and doesn’t when it doesn’t. Stake your work on it and you can end up like me for the past two days, pissed off and hassled needlessly so Bill Gates can be a hero.

Yet, I continue to type this morning while everyone else here dreams.  I won’t make any money off this post.  No client will call me because they read something I wrote on the internet.  Lawyers who, like me, have a blog know that what I say is true.  Sure, there are occasional benefits, speaking engagements, quotes in newspapers and TV requests, but they only look sexy if you haven’t done such things. They, too, are pretty meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

Last night, we had dinner with my old buddy, Kenny, a New York lawyer doing commercial lit and insurance defense. He told me that he did a panel on Rape on College Campuses at NYU Law.  He is wholly unqualified to do so, and had nothing whatsoever to offer, but the moderator was a friend of his, so he was asked to do it. From what he told me about the panel, there were a few victims rights advocates and the rest had no clue about the issue whatsoever.

That’s the sort of crap they’re serving up in law school.  That’s how meaningful speaking engagements are. It’s feeding ignorance to the ignorant most of the time. Doing such presentation doesn’t make you important. It makes you waste a day spewing nonsense.

So instead of enabling the dumbing down of everyone around me, I try to write something illuminating here. Sure, it’s just my thoughts, but those are all I have. Well, my thoughts and this barely functioning computer (Hai, Bill Gates).

As people read these posts, make demands of me to respond to their questions, inform me of their butthurt for my failure to appreciate their genius, not to mention entitlement to stand atop my soapbox because they have very important things to say, confusing me with reddit where every person has a right to express their view, no matter how absurd or ignorant, I’m tempted to say screw it.

Who needs this aggravation?  It’s not like the vast wealth and prestige make it worthwhile. It’s not as if I get to bask in the glory of my adoring fans, since most of you think I need a lobotomy. It’s not as if I’ve got a cool, working computer that I can show off.  To the extent anyone gives a crap, it’s begrudging (While I don’t agree with Greenfield, he’s prolific).

Hell, I wasn’t even interesting enough to make the first cut of the new Trigger Warnings, by two guys who I know pretty well, Eric Mayer and Daniel Gershburg. I thought they kinda like me. Not that much apparently.  Here’s a bit of inside poop, as I heard the original, uncut version of their first Trigger Warning, where Gershburg says after Jeff Gamso’s name is mentioned, that if anyone doesn’t know Gamso, he is absolutely, without question, the best criminal law blogger by far.  Me? Not even chopped liver.  Like I never existed. It’s not that Jeff isn’t great.

So here I am, tapping out a random post that begins as if it might offer a substantive thought on some truly important issues of interest to many, and meandering through my warnings on technology, passing through the relative inconsequence, if not ignominy, of all this, and, if you’ve chosen to read this far, getting to my purpose in writing.

This is my Christmas present to you. I hope you like it.  If not, exchange it for something that fits you better or maybe suits your complexion.  Think of it like this.

39 thoughts on “Silent Night

  1. William Doriss

    You’re rambling again! Good luck with the PC. Many of us
    have suffered these types of problems. Happy Holidays.
    Pay attention to the family, esp. Dr. SJ, and the guest.
    Help out with the cooking and the cleaning up. Ha.

    1. William Doriss

      The year has not quite ended, but I’ll be the first to say it was a good year
      at SJ, perhaps the best. You entertained us; you made us laugh; you
      educated some us, while scolding others of us. A mixed bag: something for
      everyone interested in the law and legal process, such as it is.
      Hopefully, the new year will bring us more of the same, as SJ reaches
      for greater heights of enlightenment in an era of uncharted waters.

      1. SHG Post author

        I am rambling. Again. I do that sometimes.

        Whether this year was “good…perhaps the best,” I dunno. Everything I write is my child, and I love no child more than any other. Every post, even this rambling one, had a reason in my mind for existing. A few others that I might have written today but decided against because it’s Christmas, and not a day to write of unpleasant things, will never be written.

        Sometimes, rambling is a good thing. Gets some stuff out that I need to get out. Merry Christmas, Bill. Hope the weather on the cape isn’t too bad.

    1. SHG Post author

      I would be really happy if Santa brought me a supported version of Windows XP, the last version that worked well. But I would settle for a working Windows 7 downgrade. Merry Christmas, Bill.

        1. SHG Post author

          And when I get back, I plan to make excellent use of that iteration. I even have it available for free, though the folks at Dell told me I couldn’t use it as an OS because . . . reasons. I’m now inclined to believe they were lying to me.

  2. Cristian

    Feliz Navidad, Scott.

    I’m a relatively new reader, but you’re now like a beloved curmudgeonly uncle to me.

    Thank you for keeping me grounded, the wisdom, and the cannoli at Forlini’s—an iconic place for its proximity to the Tombs. I’ve no doubt it holds a special place in the hearts of many a criminal defense lawyer.

    1. SHG Post author

      You, amigo, are one of the kids who keep me going. I can’t wait to see all the things you are going to accomplish. Feliz Navidad.

  3. jeff

    I get concerned when I read things like “… I’m tempted to say screw it.” I get concerned because among the din of crazies looking for their 15 minutes of fame or infamy via the web, Simple Justice is one of that last bastions of sometimes irreverent but always thoughtful, intelligent and well written commentary about events that should concern us all. When I get fired up about a wrong in the world that most people shrug off with a meh, that could affect anyone quicker than they know, My wife says to stop reading that stuff. She says that until I read her something from Simple Justice or Turley or Balko or a very few others. Very often that is what turns her from one of the “how does that affect me” majority to the seriously concerned like me. That is something that should not be lost because of a few butthurt internet crybabyies.
    Thanks for doing what you do here, it does matter.

    1. SHG Post author

      I quit three times a day (a few less than I commit felonies), but I always seem to wake up the next morning with the urge to write. Go figure. It’s nice you got the wife to read SJ. Mine doesn’t. It’s bad enough he has to listen to me.

  4. DDJ

    Mr. Greenfield,

    It’s been somewhat less than a year (I think. I’m at that age.) since I accidentally discovered your blog. Since then you’ve made my blood pressure jump wildly at times and hyperventilation is often my new best friend in reading your posts — not from your personal views, but from what you reveal about the world we live in. And, in that time, you’ve also made me a smarter man or, at the very least, more informed; with a deepened understanding of many issues. There’ve only been a coupla times that you were tinkering so deep inside the legal engine that I couldn’t follow the importance of your argument.

    Your page; your rules. So I don’t try to comment anymore as I did at first since IANAL and my reactions often seem perilously close to the “Crazies”. The nuanced discussion that it might take to distinguish the two is beyond my time or your interests. But I like to think that I may be representative of a group of readers you don’t hear from often; not the lawyers, not the crazies, just regular folks that you make smarter each time you write …. and for all of us I’d like to say Thank You. For your time, your knowledge and your willingness to be here every day.

    (And don’t go and start to think this is some damned tummy rub. It’s back to Mr. Tuff Guy after this…)

    All the best to you and yours this Holiday Season.

    1. morgan sheridan

      I’d like to say likewise, save that it is helping me be a smarter broa.. er dam… er… woman.

      Happy Holidays.

    1. SHG Post author

      Take a hard look at the nominations thread, and you may see how right Daniel was. Merry Christmas, Jeffrey, and I loved WKRP.

  5. RAFIV

    Merry Christmas to you and yours Scott.

    There is no word strong enough in the English language to express a rational human’s loathing for Win 8.1 (although there probably is in German though). But if your Dell is not a tablet hybrid (flip screen) may I suggest a Windows 7 Shell you can download from CNET. Makes your computer’s interface managble and eliminates the ridiculous and infuriating changes to basic functionality.

    Rob

    1. SHG Post author

      I already use classic shell. That was the first thing I downloaded. But almost every program lost some piece of functionality two days ago, and from what I can tell, there is no cure.

      Merry Christmas, Rob.

  6. Jim Tyre

    I was going to say something uplifting (or something). But then, on Judge Kopf’s blog, I read:

    Third, thanks to Scott Greenfield and Simple Justice. Scott, you scare the shit out of me. But you have also made me less stupid in the process. By the way, this is not a belly rub–think of it as a massage from a pretty showgirl.

    That scared the bejeezus out of me. Meaning no disrespect to Judge Kopf, a pretty showgirl? Mebbe you should stop if you inspire such thoughts. ‘-)

    Merry Xmas!

    1. Richard G. Kopf

      Mr. Tyre,

      I tried every way I could to avoid writing something offensive. But it always came out wrong. And, as you may know, I suffered from that error before. Indeed, it took Scott to educate me that some folks take things very literally.

      Anyway, I got to thinking about the new female US Senator from Iowa. To my mind, Joni Ernst’s ad about ‘castrating hogs’ was probably the most effective, and appealing, campaign ad of the recent elections. So, I thought maybe I could work in something about women, castrating hogs, and Scott. But that didn’t work either.

      Anyway, I am truly sorry that I scared the bejeezus out of you. However, you must trust me when I say it could have been worse.

      All the best.

      RGK

        1. Jim Tyre

          Hey, it’s not my fault that you’re jealous.

          Now, I gotta think about what sort of Chinese food I want today.

  7. Mark Draughn

    I hope you don’t quit blogging any time soon, but when you eventually do, no one can say you didn’t do enough. No day on the interwebs is complete without stopping in to see what you have to say.

    IANAL, but I think I can safely say, Merry Christmas!

    (P.S. I have cats, so you will hold still for this tummy rub and like it!)

    1. SHG Post author

      Merry Christmas, Mark. You may not be a lawyer, but you’re about as close as they get (which is why my expectations of you are so high).

  8. David M.

    Hey, Mr. G.

    I Just want to thank you, and say how grateful I am for what you write here. Don’t know if you check the logs, but I’ve been visiting SJ at some weird times. Back when I found SJ, my relationship of two years was ending. She and I have since broken up – liquidated our apartment – and for a while, it messed me up something fierce. My sleep cycle became shot to hell, and some days, the only things that kept me feeling anchored were the weight room and your posts.

    I’d hide out at the back of the university canteen or wake up at 4 AM, pull out my iPad, read SJ and get a window into something big, terrible and interesting. And, paradoxically, I’d breathe easier then, and be able to do my thing while not feeling quite as bad.

    Also, somewhere along the way, reading your stuff gave me a crash course in adulthood. They say philosophy will teach you humility, but when you’re sitting in a classroom, you’re insulated from the kind of environment that makes humility necessary. That’s as true for idealistic profs as it is for the narcissists among us.

    Your posts destroy that self-important mindset, pierce the narcissistic bubble. It helps that you’re a great writer – funny. pithy, very acidic – and that you talk about things that by turns, Kafka would’ve found too obtuse and Camus too absurd. From you, I got this lesson right when I needed it: to stop complaining, get myself under control and stay focused on achievement. You, your fellow blawgers, Judge Kopf (in a different way) are all hard, accomplished, competent people. Basically, you’re good role models, and I hope I’ll live up to the standard you set when I’m a professional myself.

    Thanks – for real – and happy holidays!

  9. DanQ

    Love the description of “Dad time” in the pre-dawn of Christmas, I’ve a similar tradition here. At least until the kids finally lose patience and get things going. Now, it’s the grand kids… and this morning, I ran into my son-in-law at the coffee maker before the rest of the family was up.

    I caught myself thinking that was one more reason I like him…

    Happy Holiday’s and Thank You

  10. Chris Ryan

    Another non-lawyer here, but I have to admit that when your nominations thread came out I set about to make a list. I realized that all the blawg posts that stuck in my head and really made me think were all SJ posts. I enjoy reading the rest of them, but love reading yours.

    As to computers, I had to buy a laptop with windows 8 for a deposition I had to attend and hated it so much I gave it to the wife and bought another one with windows 7, now its her problem.

    Nothing beats sitting on the sofa with the wife under my arm, watching the kids get along peacefully for a few hours. I enjoy the solitude of the morning, but love the sound of life (kids in my case).

    Merry Christmas to you and your family, Scott.

  11. Wheeze the People™

    That, my friend, is by far my favorite Christmas song . . . With “Father Christmas” by the Kinks a distant second . . .

    “You bang your drum for you pa-rum-pum-pum-pum; You and your drum . . .”

    1. SHG Post author

      I have no gift to bring
      Pa rum pum pum pum
      That’s fit to give a King
      Pa rum pum pum pum,
      rum pum pum pum,
      rum pum pum pum

      Kinda sounds like all of us.

      I played my drum for Him
      Pa rum pum pum pum
      I played my best for Him
      Pa rum pum pum pum,
      rum pum pum pum,
      rum pum pum pum

      We give what we have, even though it may not be much. But we give it all.

      Merry Christmas, Wheezy.

  12. Troutwaxer

    I experience moderate enjoyment while reading your blog. Your explanations of the law make me less stupid on a daily bais. Merry Solsti-chrisma-hanna-kwanzah to you and yours!!

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