And they say blogs don’t report news. Hah!  Take this, Bill Keller!

I have discovered 3 major defects in Lincoln Navigators and Cadillac Escalades.  That’s right, you’re reading it here for the first time.  This is an exclusive.  You’re not going to find this anywhere else.

First defect is the steering.  It’s broke, and broke bad.  You see, neither of these two very expensive vehicles steer properly, as is clearly seen by the fact that they cannot be kept in their lanes.  This is particularly problematic when going around curves, where both SUVs are invariably over the double yellow lines and halfway into the lane of on-coming traffic.

The second defect is the turn signal.  Apparently, the blinkers don’t work at all on either vehicle.  My investigative reporting has failed to find a single individual who has ever seen a turn signal engaged on either of these two very large, expensive cars.

And finally, there is a very serious problem with the brakes, although this problem appears intermittent.  The brakes on these vehicles appears to work some of the time, but invariably fails when the SUVs come to stop signs, at which time they blow through at breakneck speed.  I can only imagine the horror on the faces of Escalade and Navigator drivers as their massive vehicles cause small hybrids to jam on their brakes or swerve off the road to avoid collision.

So far, now word from either Lincoln or Cadillac about the massive vehicle recalls that will no doubt be coming any day.  But stay tuned, I’ll keep you posted.