A spate of cool videos is making the rounds of news lately, bringing us wonderful entertainment.

From the  LA Times, we have the video showing that the cops testimony, that he saw the defendant toss a black object containing cocaine, proven to be a lie.

From ABC News, we have the video of the cop choking a hand-cuffed suspect to find non-existent marijuana in his mouth, until he passed out.  (Note that you have to watch a commercial before seeing this video, since ABC/Disney couldn’t possibly pass up the opportunity to cash in on your interest in exchange for providing you a mediocre news story).  In Tennessee, the reports don’t call it choking, but “vascular restraint.”  It sounds so much more technical, doesn’t it?

But today’s winner is:



The part I love the best is that, without videos, these things never happened.  Tell a judge that your client was beaten by the cops for fun, and it never happened.  Tell the jury that the cops are lying, and it never happened.  But show a video, and it’s real.  It’s a miracle!

There is a little known but scientifically verified release of neuro-toxins, affecting the blood/brain barrier, that happens inside courtrooms which precludes jurors from appreciating that the same things that are caught on video, and hence real, also happen when there is no video available, and therefore never happened.

Simple Justice is currently conducting an unauthorized by highly regarded experiment to determine whether higher concentrations of these toxins are released by the combination of wood-paneling, black polyester and the imported wool found in Paul Stewart suits.  We are having some difficulty accounting for the supple leather used in Gucci loafers, which presents a variable given the rich Corinthian leather used in knock-off Nike sneakers.

Notably, the same toxins affect the potential exoneration of wrongfully convicted defendants with regard to DNA.  When DNA is available, innocent defendants are exonerated.  When there is no DNA involved, no innocent defendant has ever been convicted.  Thus, it’s all the DNAs fault, which we hypothesize must also be connected to the creation of the dreaded courtroom toxin.  Fortunately, this experiment will not require living human subjects.

The results of this experiment will be reported in the New England Journal of Medicine or here, whichever is most convenient.

Seriously, how many times can people listen to the “one bad apple” excuse without figuring out that there are too many bad apples?

Which brings us to another video of a heinous crime against humanity.