In the shadow of Lori Drew comes Long Island’s own version of a monumentally out of control mother, whose way of handling a dispute between her child and another 9 year old reflects just how warped a parent can get. From Newsday :
Hauppauge social worker [Margery Tannenbaum, 40] has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child for posting a sexually suggestive ad on Craigslist directing callers to the home of a 9-year-old girl, Suffolk prosecutors said.
Police said the ad was posted in the “casual encounters” section of the Web site in February. “I need a little affection,” the ad read, according to a criminal complaint filed in court. “I am blonde and very cute! I’ll be waiting.” The first name of the girl, whom Newsday is not identifying, was also included in the ad.
Tannenbaum replied via e-mail to those who expressed interest, giving them the home phone number of the girl, who lives about a mile away in Smithtown, the complaint said.
The ad generated nearly two dozen calls from men seeking sex, police said.
A parent’s love and concern for her own child is one thing, admirable in its own way. But what drives a parent, especially a social worker, to create a scheme such as this to harm another child is beyond comprehension. Sure, we want to protect and defend our kids. It’s one of the strongest driving forces in a parents life. But the urge is to defend our own, not harm another.
The question is whether conduct of this ilk, so utterly shocking and bizarre, is a reflection of some greater disease that’s flowing through parents who have either lost touch with reality, abandoned all morals or are so filled with rage that they cannot control their most outrageous impulses.
Note that this was not a single instance of lashing out, but a well planned and executed scheme, requiring numerous parts over a period of time. Even if we try to explain it as moment of uncontrolled rage, it fails to offer any rationale for the ongoing engagement. Move by move, Margery Tannenbaum persisted in this disagraceful conduct, each time renewing her purpose in causing harm to a 9 year old child. To maintain that level of fury, and persist in this sort of irrational and outrageous behavior, over a prolonged period of time suggests some serious mental defect. There is no explanation. There is no justification. None.
In an online editorial, Newsday columnist Anne Michaud writes:
The question is whether conduct of this ilk, so utterly shocking and bizarre, is a reflection of some greater disease that’s flowing through parents who have either lost touch with reality, abandoned all morals or are so filled with rage that they cannot control their most outrageous impulses.
Note that this was not a single instance of lashing out, but a well planned and executed scheme, requiring numerous parts over a period of time. Even if we try to explain it as moment of uncontrolled rage, it fails to offer any rationale for the ongoing engagement. Move by move, Margery Tannenbaum persisted in this disagraceful conduct, each time renewing her purpose in causing harm to a 9 year old child. To maintain that level of fury, and persist in this sort of irrational and outrageous behavior, over a prolonged period of time suggests some serious mental defect. There is no explanation. There is no justification. None.
In an online editorial, Newsday columnist Anne Michaud writes:
It kills me when parents act like this; in my view of the world, we are supposed to look out for children, even if they are not ours. We certainly should not be victimizing them. And this woman is a social worker besides — another supposed caretaker position.
Of course we should be protecting children, rather than affirmatively harming them, whether they are our own or not. Is there any question about this? But then, let’s remember that when it comes time to treat the next child offender like an adult, disposable and unworthy of saving. We truly need to return to the culture of caring for all children rather than only our own, and that includes the children who get in trouble as well as the cute and cuddly ones. They are all children, all worthy of our caring and concern.
On the other side of the equation, there is much to be said for the handling of this case, particularly in comparison to the horribly ill-conceived Lori Drew prosecution. Tannenbaum is being prosecuted locally for child endangerment, even though much of her conduct involved a computer, a lie and harm. Imagine, a prosecutor staying within the bounds of the law and his jurisdiction.
Prosecutors need not distort the law, abandon principle and abuse process to address the damage caused by this sick woman. While I hope Tannenbaum’s conduct, following on Lori Drew and the Texas Cheerleader mom, isn’t part of a growing trend of parents going off the deep end when it comes to their children, I applaud the prosecutor for dealing with it properly, and staying within the bounds of the law. At least somebody in this absurd case kept their wits about them.
On the other side of the equation, there is much to be said for the handling of this case, particularly in comparison to the horribly ill-conceived Lori Drew prosecution. Tannenbaum is being prosecuted locally for child endangerment, even though much of her conduct involved a computer, a lie and harm. Imagine, a prosecutor staying within the bounds of the law and his jurisdiction.
Prosecutors need not distort the law, abandon principle and abuse process to address the damage caused by this sick woman. While I hope Tannenbaum’s conduct, following on Lori Drew and the Texas Cheerleader mom, isn’t part of a growing trend of parents going off the deep end when it comes to their children, I applaud the prosecutor for dealing with it properly, and staying within the bounds of the law. At least somebody in this absurd case kept their wits about them.
As one of the Cheerleader Mom prosecutors years ago, I was at least able to comprehend (but not understand) the motive. Her daughter, a teenager, had repeatedly lost in competitions to the other’s daughter. Had this kind of retaliation be available then rather than physical harm, she may well have taken it. What possible conduct by a 9 year old child could cause this kind of behavior?
I had always taken that case as being somewhat Texas-centric. I’m afraid that whatever disease it was has spread, and in a more virulent form. Imagine, a 9 year old. It’s truly unfathomable.
Part of what’s disturbing about a case like this is that no one simply pleads guilty, even when it can probably be shown that this woman controlled the email address and placed the ad. What are the odds that someone else would want to affect that young girl this way AND would somehow hack into Tannenbaum’s email account? Zero.
Sad to say it, but it’s troubling to me that there’s always a lawyer willing to soft-pedal whatever offence a person commits. (It’s being blown out of proportion…she’s really a good person, etc.) You could be the nicest person around, but when you decide to do a heinous thing like this, you must pay appropriate consequences. Otherwise, all of society will get the message that the first serious offense is a freebie–that a lawyer can always point to your lack of prior convictions and set you free with a wink and a nod.
I want to see this woman do serious time.
That bad things people do should trouble you. That they have a constitutional right to counsel is simply the American system of justice. Of all the things to disturb you, you’ve managed to find the one thing that shouldn’t.