A few days ago, I received an email from the president of a corporation that was mentioned in one of my posts.  It wasn’t a corporation that I admired, but being a capitalist, I don’t begrudge business that cater to the foolish their opportunity separate them from their money.

The president emailed me because a commenter made some very serious, even criminal allegations against the business.  His purpose was to ask for a favor, if I would pull the comment.  This was how he approached the request:

Scott, I have had only minor interaction with you and you have always been cordial.  I understand your methodology of using controversial content to attract readership, and even though I do not always necessarily agree with your tactics (especially when they are directed at my close friend and business partner), I appreciate your right to exercise your free speech and contribute to the conversation.  That being said, I am not sure what credibility you add to your argument about the Slackoisie manifesto by posting an irrelevant comment  from an anonymous poster whose comments are unverified and quite frankly not true.

I found the second sentence fascinating.   My “methodology” was to court controversy to attract readership.  Who knew?  I had long maintained that my methodology was to amuse myself, make the occasional point, and engage in the ongoing conversation of the blawgosphere. 

Frankly, I was not amused.  It was painfully obvious that this president imputed his motivations onto me.  It doesn’t change my purposes, but revealed him to be arrogant fool.  Just because he can’t conceive of a purpose beyond collecting eyeballs doesn’t mean that I share his motives.  Ironically,  his secondary assumption, that my post involving his business would attract readers, is itself incredibly arrogant.  Hey pal, not that many people care if your business exists, no less what I have to say about.  You are not the center of attention for the masses, but just a sideshow with some passing curiosity to a larger point that has nothing to do with your business.  If I was looking to attract eyeballs, I wouldn’t have bothered with you.

Bear in mind, the company he works for is not one for which I hold much respect, regardless of whether the allegations raised in the stinging comment are true or not.  I assume that the business will soon fail, as its target audience of slackoisie either go broke or grow up.

But his purpose in writing me was to ask me for a favor.  So here’s another life lesson: If you want someone to do you a favor, don’t open up with an insult.  As a corollary, if you’re a blithering idiot, don’t assume everyone else is as well. 

I responded to this email by offering the president these life lessons.  It would seem that someone who believes himself competent to serve as a president of a real business would already be aware of such things, but obviously that cannot be assumed.  Sometimes, it’s necessary to point out the obvious.
 
To his credit, the president responded with an apology.  He even offered that he hoped he could someday return the favor.  I can’t imagine what he could ever do for me, but it was a nice thing to say.

Apparently, he only needs to be spanked once to get the point.  That must be why they made him president.  Either that, or he’s the only one in the place who owns a tie and a pair of lace-up shoes.  And I removed the offending comment, not so much because he asked as because it was a particularly serious set of allegations from an unknown commenter, thus invoking the Publius Syndrome.  It should be noted that I received some emails afterward corroborating the allegations, but the senders didn’t want to disclose their identities or post their thoughts in comments, and hence received no credit for their claims.

Too often, people have attributed motive to the existence of Simple Justice by projecting their purposed onto me.  Don’t do it.  I’ve made my purpose clear, and the assumption that whatever moves you moves me won’t be appreciated.  But more importantly, if you’re going to ask me to do you a favor, do not insult me in the process.  I’ve got no butts to kiss in the blawgosphere, and I assure you that it’s far more likely that I will burn you publicly for your attack than cover your butt.