Let’s be frank, had Caroline Giuliani not been sired by Rudolph, no one would have either known or cared about her arrest for shoplifting or her court appearance, where she was given an adjournment in contemplation of dismissal (ACD) with one day of community service.  I wrote about it, not because of Caroline but because of my deep, abiding feelings toward her father.  It would have killed me not to take a shot at Rudy.

The outcome of her case, a first arrest for a minor offense, was absolutely, completely, totally typical.  She was shown no favor for her lineage.  She was also treated no more harshly than any other defendant.  At least by the court.

Unfortunately, Carolyn Giuliani didn’t fare as well in the blogosphere.  In a post at Above the Law, this young lady was pointlessly skewered in a post entitled All Made Up and Nowhere to Go — Except Community Service.

You might remember that a month ago, Caroline Giuliani was busted for stealing $100 worth of cosmetics from a Sephora store on the Upper East Side. Well, yesterday the swift hammer of justice came down upon young Miss Giuliani’s perfectly made-up head. And I think it’s fair to say that any young woman seeking to figure out her daddy issues by thieving beauty supplies will think long and hard before she goes on a crime spree:

The daughter of prosecutor and former New York City mayor Rudolph Giuliani will have a shoplifting charge dismissed and her case closed and sealed if she completes a day of community service at the city’s sanitation department and doesn’t get arrested again in the next six months.

You read that right. A day. Just enough time to think long and hard about what she has… day’s over! Smell ya later, Sanitation Department! Seems like that gross of “Free Caroline” T-shirts wasn’t the good investment I thought it would be.

Funny?  Was there something about her appearance (“perfectly made-up head”), psyche (“daddy issues”) or attitude (“smell ya later”) that gives rise to a college student whose only external interest is a poorly coiffed father worth being ridiculed?  No, it’s not funny.  Ridicule Rudy?  Fair game.  Ridicule an improper disposition given the offspring of a anti-crime zealot? Fair game.  Ridicule a young lady personally?  Unfair.

What it is, sadly, is a pathetic attempt at snark by one child at the expense of another.

Ed. note: This post is by “Juggalo Law,” one of the two writers under consideration to join Morning Dockette as a Morning Docket writer. As always, we welcome your thoughts in the comments.

ATL has become the blogospheric equivalent of a cottage industry, converting a weird interest by David Lat in Biglaw smarm and judicial underwear in a revenue-raising enterprise.  He’s the Harvey Levin of blawgs to ATL’s TMZ.  To his credit, he’s making money at it, which is no small feat.

The process, however, has given rise to some transitional growing pains.  ATL started at Lat’s baby, and despite his untoward curiosity with judicial salaciousness, he brought sharp wit and an exceptional understanding of how far one could go before going too far.  ATL was an immediate, blockbuster success, and drew huge interest from Biglaw newbies and wannabes, who proved their mettle by writing the most idiotic, nasty comments conceivable. 

In time, Lat went from A3G to CEO, leaving a void to be filled.  He ran a brilliant contest called ATL idol, which ended with Elie Mystal filling Lat’s small shoes.  Elie, another Harvard grad and Biglaw washout, has grown into the job, though he’s lately been spreading his reach beyond his grasp.  For a while, Lat had non-lawyer Kashmir Hill doing yeoman’s work, but she got a real job with Forbes and left ATL in a bind.  And so Lat’s running another contest, a little lower profile, to find some worker bees.

The nature of ATL is to be snarky and salacious, but the children vying for Lat-love possess neither the wit nor grasp that made ATL a blogospheric staple.  It’s not easy to find writers for a blog like ATL, and apparently even less easy to find writers with the guts to use their real name while ripping others.  But this one, calling herself Juggalo Law, shows how the desperate need to be a wiseass overcomes any semblance of sound judgment.  They know that Lat wants snark, and try to be as snarky as possible, even to the point of gross impropriety. 

Even Law and More noted that this post went too far:

In the tradition of American Idol, it seems that Juggalo Low is auditioning for being a writer of the “Morning Docket” on Abovethelaw.com.  Her try, which consists of commentary on Sweet Smelly Caroline Giuliani, lacks the usual brilliance and sarcastic bite of ATL. 

Humor is a difficult genre.  That’s why they pay such big bucks to those who master the craft.  Therefore, it’s too high risk to try to handle it so early in a writing career or in a new client relationship.  Best to incorporate subtle irony. 

She asks whether this commentary is too harsh. It strikes me as too kind.  Jugs isn’t entitled to be inappropriate in the job hunt process, and she’s not funny.  The idea that she can do “subtle irony” seems to be a huge stretch, as there was nothing subtle or ironic about her post.   This might have been a “here’s a dime” opportunity. 

Growing pains at ATL have given rise to a number of dubious decisions, ranging from pointless “columns” to guest-writers lacking any subject matter qualifications to flagrant pandering on behalf of paying advertisers.  If that’s what Lat needs to do to fill blank space, that’s fine.  It diminishes ATL (as happily noted by the commenters) and harms no animals in the process.

When the posts personally attack the wrong people, however, like “Smelly Caroline,” it’s time to pull the plug.  I realize that David’s probably busy signing autographs and fielding requests for Elie’s television appearances, but he still holds the keys to publishing these posts by children without sound judgment.  Come on, David, you had no issue dropping the hatchet when you were an assistant United States Attorney in New Jersey.  Time to exercise some prosecutorial discretion at ATL and put an end to the offense.