Rarely have I found myself in agreement with the politics of Wisconsin lawprof Ann Althouse, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t raised significant issues or has the right to speak out about them.  Thus, any disagreement is meaningless in the face of  this missive that appears at her blog.

The caveat is that this may be a joke, or a threat that is only meant to scare.  For all I know, this is the newest meme by a couple kids who think it’s hysterically funny that anyone, particularly Althouse, took note of it.  Whatever it is, it is.  Here are brief excerpts.  The original goes on for four pages.

WE WILL FUCK YOU UP. We will throw our baseballs in your lawn, you cranky old pieces of shit, and then we will come get them back. What are you gonna do? Shoot us? Get Wausau Tea Patriots to form an ad hoc militia on your front lawn? That would be fucking HILAROUS to us. You could get to know the assholes on your side in real fucking life instead of sponging off the civil society we provide for you every single day you draw breath.”

The words sound as if written by teens or college students engaged in what they see as a prank, though it purports to come from Madison “townies” in retaliation for Althouse’s writings about Wisconsin public sector unions.  Then there are the demands.

Package 1: Pay your damn dues, you Union Freeloading pieces of shit

You are getting fat on union money. You are getting fat on our tax money. You are getting fat on an undeserved bully pulpit that you got from credibility won from the hard struggles of public sector workers, university professors and unions throughout history, and that increased dramatically in scope due to OUR MOVEMENT. So PAY YOUR DUES. We demand:

1) Because you have taken the words from our mouth — A complete recantation of all lies about #wiunion (not lies in leagalese – lies in the commonsense moral definition of the word. Choose an ethical system that you believe is fair, run it by us, and we will let you know which posts violate it) posted on your personal blog,in all comments sections of all other blogs, on your flickr account and your youtube account, spoken in podcasts or on bloggingheads, or said out loud anywhere in Madison. Take it all back. We don’t trust you, so we will draft a statement for you.

2) Because you have taken the bread from our table – a 5,000 dollar donation(each) in your own names and made public to the Industrial Workers of the World general fund, the Bradley Manning Defense Fund, the Recall Alberta Darling effort, a group of our choosing that advocates for the pro-democracy movementsin #libya, #algeria, #iran or in Pizza for the Protesters (we prefer Ian’s, the Nickelor Roman Candle, but any friendly place will do – if you attempt to order us shitty pizza or pizza from an unfriendly restaurant we will eat it and consider are demands still unmet).

3) Because you have attempted to take our very safety and indeed our lives,because you have incited violence against us and above all because you have proven yourselves inadequate to the grave and solemn responsibilites of Citizen-Journalism – Your silence. You want to make everyone shut the fuck up? Be the change you seek. We demand ZERO more posts about us, ever. We demand the admin pw for all of your shit to be publicly posted on a movement friendly facebook group or 4chan. We demand to be allowed to vet everything you post before you post it and edit it for any and all lies related to #wiunion, #wewarewi,#union, #usuncut #opesr #wikileaks #solidarity and#allthatisgoodandholyonthisearth. We demand that you Delete Fucking Everything.

4) You will never, ever, ever, ever in your motherfucking life come within 20 feet of the statue of Hans Christian Heg. Althouse, you are a job-hopping carpetbagger from New England. Meade, you are an obnoxious right-to-work Zombie from southern Ohio who only lives here because its apparently the only place in the world you can get laid. Heg is OURS. We are WISCONSIN. You don’t fucking touch Hans Christian. Ever. And that goes double for the Lady on the other side.

Package 2: Move the Fuck out of Our City

Get out, and stay out. Far out. Meade — You ain’t no man for this city. We’re out on the streets every day, all day. The 77 square is not for y’all. You say we’re from out of state? Bullshit. You’re from fucking out of state. We’ll show you just how fucking Madison we are. Althouse, we will ruin your goddamn career, your comfort, your pocketbook, your sense of safety and wellbeing, and your life. And don’t try to pull up at another one of our cities either. Don’t like your AAUP card? Turn it in. If you want to carry water for Koch and the Chamber, they can foot the fucking bill for it. Get a job on the Tea speaking circuit or with AEI or some other garbage think-tank in DC or Claremont or whatevs. We have friends everywhere. All land-grant University towns are occupied. All major cities are occupied. Everywhere with a critical mass of smart, uppity people is Occupied. If you want to advocate for national internetless, right-to-work rural fortress state hell with no transit in or out, you can live in it. If you want to defend Falangist Michigan, move to Pontiac. If you want to make us all work for Olive Garden you can fucking eat there. Why don’t YOU go shop at Wal-Mart. Because the shit you wear looks like it comes from places like Jazzman and Bop and we work there too and we aren’t having it any more. No more free rides, baby.

If you have not acceded to our demands within a week, it is ON LIKE DONKEY KONG. WE AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE. EVER. WE LIVE HERE 100% OF THE FUCKING TIME. YOU CAN’T BAN MADISON FROM LIVING IN MADISON, BUT WE CAN SURE AS SHIT BAN YOU. WHO ARE YOU GONNA CALL? COPS FOR LABOR? THE CHICKENSHIT TEA ASSWIPES WHO ARE SCARED SHITLESS OF THE TEAMSTERS TRUCKS? THE NATIONAL GUARD? SCOTT WALKER? NO ONE IS GOING TO COME AND CRACK DOWN ON US FOR YOU. THERE IS NO CAVALRY. ITS US VS YOU ON THE STREETS OF THE CITY GOING AS FAR AS IT HAS TO GO UNTIL A ) WE WIN OR B ) DOOMSDAY.

Chances are that there is nothing behind this, empty threats by idiots who will revel in the reaction they get.  I mean, “on like Donkey Kong?” Yet Ann Althouse and her husband Meade don’t need to concern themselves with this terribly funny, deliberately threatening, type of crap because she has disagreed with their politics by her public writings.

If this is real, then these people are sick.  If this is a joke, then these people are sick.  If you think this is funny or deserved, then you’re sick too.  You can disagree with someone all you want, but this is not a legitimate way to deal with it.  Ann Althouse is no teacup, too fragile to stare down disagreement, and it’s unlikely that this insane threat is going to cause her to pause in the expression of her thoughts for a second.  Still, nobody needs or deserves garbage like this.

And if this is a prank by a couple of kids to see whether they can get a rise out of someone whose words carry as much weight as Ann Althouse, then I hope to God that their parents give them a damn good spanking and ground them for a long, long time.

You vehemently disagree with someone on the internet?  Atlhouse?  Me?  Anyone?  Great, start a blog, write to your heart’s content and let the merit of your views draw in readers and persuade people to accept your point of view.  Anything else is garbage.  This letter to Ann Althouse, real or joke, is garbage. 

Update:  The author of the Althouse screed, Jim Shankman, is interviewed by Dan Riehl at Breitbart’s Big Government.

Shankman is currently unemployed, claims to not be a member of a union and says he most often works as a dishwasher when employed. He insists that he does not advocate for violence and in some ways sought to distance himself from his “manifesto,” while also acknowledging authorship. He says he’s done with the issue and was simply giving voice to thoughts and rhetoric he “regularly hears in the street.”

“I’m done with it,” said Shankman, adding that he intends to pull back some from social media. However, he did not back away from the manifesto, claiming he wanted to elevate the idea and that if others in Madison wanted to embrace it, then so much the better.

Welcome to the wild world of whackjobs on the internet.

H/T  John Burgess (below)