Ellen Beth Wachs is out of jail for now, but she’s been ordered to stay away from the neighbor boy, a ten year old who enjoys hoops with his dad.  He has sensitive ears.

From Fox in Tampa Bay :

A judge in Bartow decided to release Ellen Beth Wachs, an outspoken atheist, who has been in jail since Sunday.

She was arrested after an incident involving her neighbor’s 10-year-old son, and charged with simulation of a sexual act in the presence of a child.

Wachs was annoyed at the sound of the kid playing basketball early Sunday morning, and told him to knock it off.

He did stop, but a few minutes later, began shooting hoops with his father.

Detectives say Wachs began making loud noises of a sexual nature.

Before addressing the obvious, this bears noting:

“He is very fearful of even going outside after that happened,” said Otto Lehman in court on Friday. Lehman is the boy’s dad.

Well, that’s certainly credible, Otto.  You can raise the nightmares that will haunt him for decades when you bring the civil suit.  In any event, this case must be tried, if for no other reason than for the following exchange.

Prosecutor:  And what did you hear?

Otto: Sounds of a sexual nature.

Defense: Objection, conclusory.

Court: Sustained. Come on, prosecutor. You know what you’ve got to do.

Prosecutor: But judge…

Court: Sustained. It’s up to you.

Prosecutor: Mr. Lehman, can you tell the jury what sounds you heard?

Otto: Oooh. Aaaah. Oh, ahhhh, ooooh.

Defense: Let the record reflect that the witness is grabbing his left breast with his right hand, as his left hand is extended to a place on his body that cannot be seen below the rail of the jury box.

Court:  Will the witness please open his eyes and stop contorting his face.  Eewww.

Defense: Move to strike this testimony, your honor, as the prosecution has failed to lay a foundation for the witness sexual experience to distinguish “sex sounds” from, say, a decent meal.

Prosecutor:  But your honor…

Court: I’m gonna be sick.

Otto:  When I first played seven minutes in heaven with Hilda when we were twelve,..

Tell me that wouldn’t be worth it?

Wachs is charged with verbally simulating sex in front of a child. She’s not a favorite resident in Bartow, after she challenged the Polk sheriff for taking the basketball hoops intended for the local jail and giving them to the local churches instead.  Darn atheist.

But even if Wachs emitted sounds that would make Meg Ryan blush, is that a crime?  Consider the ramifications for cheaply built apartment buildings and hot bed motels.