If you already know what a strop is, you probably have no reason to waste the few minutes reading this post as you’ve already learned the lessons.
Both my son and I were getting a bit scraggly, so we hopped in the car and went for a haircut. We went to a place called a barber shop, which can generally be identified by a stripped pole outside. Sometimes the poll swirls, and sometimes not, but it’s been the sign of barbers for generations.
Barber shops do not call themselves salons, and barbers are not stylists. Barbers cut hair. They used to perform surgery, but the law frowns on such conduct today. Still, they have straight razors used to give a shave, whether on the front or back of the neck. This is why they need a strop, as no one wants a dull straight razor. Some barbers are comedians, and use the old ketchup on the straight razor gag to get a laugh out of the guys in chairs.
There are two reasons why there are guys in chairs in a barber shop. The first is that they don’t take appointments. If you want a haircut, you come in and sit down, waiting for your turn in the barber seat. You talk to the other guys waiting in chairs about news, politics and horse racing. This brings us to the other reason there are guys sitting in chairs.
Barber shops tend to be gathering places for guys who know a great deal about horse racing. They frequently have horse racing on the barber shop television, and there is sometimes a fellow there to whom the other guys in chairs say, $2 on Brilliant Sparkle in the 9th. Horses have strange names.
If you do not know much about horse racing, it’s best that you not strike up a conversation on the topic with the guys who yell out anything about “trifecta.” They won’t appreciate it and will look at you askance. It also tends to cause the barber to give you a lopsided haircut so that you won’t be happy and return.
Barbers do not wash hair before cutting it. At most, they spray cold water from a bottle to make it wet, but they have no one who will rub any soapy stuff into a guy’s hair and rinse it out. They keep their instruments clean by placing into a jar containing blue liquid. It’s supposed to sterilize the combs, but no one really knows if it does.
Barber shops do not do manicures and pedicures. No one wants another guy to take his shoes off in a barber shop. No one. But then, no ones wants another person screwing with his nails. Nails grow exactly the way they are supposed to, without human interference beyond the requisite trimming.
If you are new to a barber shop, you tell the barber how long it’s been since your last hair cut so the barber will know how short to cut it. If you want something special, you need to be specific, but also need to realize that if it requires more than three words, chances are that the barber won’t know what you are talking about. Most haircuts can be described in three words or less.
Barber shops do not color hair. If you don’t like being gray, then there are products at the supermarket to fix it. Otherwise, you will leave with the same color hair you came in with, only shorter.
There will be a rack of magazines at the barber shop, but the magazines will all be quite old. If they are news magazines, they won’t be very interesting. There are no fashion magazines. There are no magazines with polls about one’s love life.
At the counter, there will be a cash register where the barber can ring up the charge for your haircut. Charges tend to range from $10 to $15. I paid $12 for my haircut, and gave the barber a $3 tip. If the barber doesn’t cut you, then you should tip him.
Next to the cash register will be lollipops. They are really there for the little boys who come in for their first haircuts. There are special benches that are placed on the barber chair for little boys. They don’t like them, but they will get used to them. The lollipops make things better and usually stop the crying. If a grownup wants a lollipop, he can take one. No one will make fun of you for it.
Proper grooming for men is important. Everything needed for a man to be properly groomed can be had in a barber shop.
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You didn’t mention bay rum and hot towels.
Unforgivable omissions. My apologies.
I really loved this.
Got shaving brushes and mugs?
I do. I have shaving mug with the name McGonigle on it. I assume McGonigle has a long beard.
Yeah? Maybe it’s everyone’s mug.
This was lovely, Scott. I took my son, Will, to the Barber shop for his first hair cut and thereafter preached that men get their hair cut, not “styled.” Now years later when my genetics no longer require purchase of “products”–he still goes, by himself.
There Joe and Paul sit and tell the same strange stories, Paul sits at a table in the window with an old phone that he mysteriously answers and speaks in code into. Maybe it’s the track or other sorts of things. I know guys come in and go the back and then out of the shop without the necessity of a hair cut. Boys receive nickels to use in the gumball machinet. There’s an antlered deer hean mounted with Christmas tree lights that they call Rudolph. Back when I first took Will in, I told Paul and Joe that they were on the hook for Will’s therapy when he grows up, because of “Rudolph.” Thanks for the remembrance.
There are so many places like the Barber Shop that are quickly becoming places of memory, only.
BL
My great-uncle won the KY Derby in 1913, Roscoe Goose, aboard Donerail. Longest long-shot in derby history @ 91:1. And his brother, my other great-uncle Carl Goose won the 1913 Kentucky Oaks before dying in a freak racing accident. Awesome article!
I can ask for my haircuts simply by holding up two fingers-#2 all the way around. I’m losing it anyway, so I try not to get too attached.
Maybe it was because there were Mob folks in my neighborhood, Scott, but manicures were certainly on the menu at the local barbershop when I was growing up, along with scalp massages.
The thing that dismays me about today’s barbershops is what happens when you ask for a shave.
No more straight razor. Instead, it’s a 3- or 4-blade cartridge razor, if you’re lucky. If you’re not, it’s a disposable BIC. I used to enjoy the occasional shave at the barbershop, but I do a better job at home.
Too, the ‘True Detective’ and ‘True Crime’ magazines are gone. Instead, it’s bikes or hunting. Both of those are interesting, but not nearly as much as the pulp magazines used to be.
I miss having a decent barbershop here in Oregon. Which is a bit odd as there a number of traditional non-stylist barbershops here, but they just don’t feel right or have the proper vibe. Good barbershops in New York were one of the great joys of living there.
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As for magazines, I remember my local barbershop kept Playboys as one of the magazines until the late 80s.