In the past, I’ve written  harsh  words about  lawyers who were only too happy to run down to the local TV station to appear on the news on any subject under the sun, wholly oblivious to the fact that they neither know the subject about which they’re supposed to opine nor care.  Anything to be able to tell people you’re a television hero.  This conduct was as disgraceful as it came, I wrote. I’m forced to eat my words.

It’s not the the conduct isn’t disgraceful.  It most assuredly is.  It’s that there is now a new, lower step, a new cliff to fall off of, that makes this conduct pale in comparison. 

Apparently, an email went out to some lawyers.  If I received one, I didn’t read it, but I suspect it never came to my box.  But Houston criminal defense lawyer  Mark Bennett got the email.

Hello,

As the Casey Anthony trial is taking place in your backyard, our media contacts (whom we have great relationships with) have let us know that they are actively seeking Criminal Defense Attorneys to comment on the case.

If the thought of appearing on National & Local Television & National & Local Radio Shows has ever crossed your mind – This moment is yours to take.

If not, simply write back REMOVE because you’ll never again be the midst of a press frenzy like this – CNN, NBC, and Fox will be covering this 24-7.

When you appear as a guest on national media, millions of eyes across America are on you and traffic drives to your website and ultimately can increase your bottom line.

Of the many issues with the Casey Anthony case, and  there are more than one can shake a stick at, this wasn’t one that I saw coming.  True, commentary during the OJ Simpson trial made darlings out of a few lawyers who were at their best in a studio, far away from a courtroom.  They got gigs on talking as if they had a clue, as if they could read minds or had even a vague familiarity with law and practice in far away jurisdictions.  No one seemed to care, as long as interesting sounds emitted from their mouths.  More importantly, no one seemed to remember what they said the day before. They only cared that people remembered their name.

But these people, time fillers in stories run by people selling TV commercials, had at least one virtue.  No, they weren’t paid for the their time.  Not a dime.  They made themselves perpetually available, just in case Larry called, for free.  Being close to celebrity was payment enough.  They did not, however, pay for it.

That once was sufficient to earn the title media whores, a pejorative description for lawyers who would say anything to get on television.  Given the next step down, below the gutter (into the sewer?), they no longer look so disgraceful.

Would you pay someone to place you on television as a talking head?  Are you so desperate for attention, for faux prominence, that you would hire a publicist to make you a “star?”  Bear in mind, if you had any virtue, any, that would give rise to a media outlet calling you directly, a youthful producer thinking to herself, I want this lawyer, Joe, to provide analysis on my broadcast, they would call you directly. 

The usual scenario, where the producer asks around for the name of a lawyer to do commentary, who might either have some bit of knowledge that could add to the broadcast or at least know how to speak in interesting sound bites and make chatter that adds to the show, never runs short of lawyers.  Lawyers love to be on TV.  Lawyers adore being treated like “experts,” even if their only role is to answer a five minute question from the anchor with a two second response.

So Joe the lawyer, having watched the cross-examination where the sheriff said he was forced to put the gun in her mouth, and of course he really had no choice but to taser her in order to get her mouth open wide enough, and the judge screaming at the defense lawyer, blah, blah, blah . . .

Well . . .

We’re out of time, but thanks to Joe the lawyer for his fascinating insight. In another story, a new mousetrap has been developed that coddles the little critter. Here to report is . . .

So what if it cost Joe half a day to do this segment, waking up for his black car ride at 4:30 a.m.  He got a donut and coffee in the green room, and now has a video to put on his website proving that he is, indeed, a renown media pundit.  What client doesn’t want a lawyer who is so special that he’s on TV?

That lawyers and firms have publicists is nothing new. As a blawger, I get a never ending stream of ridiculous emails from PR firms hyping stories about some unknown firm having scores some inconsequential case, and would I like to speak to the lawyer who is available 24/7 for an interview.  They’re laughable, and the lawyers who do it become the targets of scorn and ridicule.

But this is different. This was a blind email, sent to any lawyer willing to pay for the privilege of being the freebie lunchmeat in the media sandwich, filler with no nutritional value.  At least the media whore didn’t pay for it.  The next time some unknown lawyer who has neither the knowledge nor chops to do commentary dresses up in his best suit and a clean white shirt to pretend that he’s a celebrity, this email will come immediately to mind and the only thought running through my head is “how much did he pay to get on TV?”

Don’t blame the PR company.  Don’t blame the 6 o’clock news.  Don’t blame cable TV with 24/7 coverage of things that only happen 9 to 5.  No one makes lawyers take that leap off the abyss.  Lawyers do this to themselves.  And pay for it.

The old days, when the worst that could be said of the media whore is that he has nothing to offer but won’t let that stop him, is beginning to look relatively dignified.  If it can get worse, it will.  I wonder how many lawyers were only too happy to pay for the service?