The Virtues of the English

An email arrived this morning soliciting my willingness to promote a book of war stories by a British Queen’s Counsel.  With a link to his Amazon page and the vanity blurb about his glory, he suggested that you, readers of SJ, might be interested in purchasing his book.

My response was:

While I occasionally do book reviews, under no circumstances would I ever blindly promote a book. People who want to advertise their wares for sale pay for the advertising.
His reply:

Had my book been of interest to your readers I would have offered you a review copy.

However, with such a discourteous reply if you want a review copy you will have to buy it.
All of which offers me the opportunity post this great video of Dame Maggie Smith’s Violet in Downton Abbey.



Perhaps one of my English friends can help me to express my vulgar American view in a more civilized manner?  After all, I would hate to be discourteous to some egomaniacal Brit wanker who cold-solicits me to sell his book of fabulous war stories, and who would be so very generous, if only I would assure him of aiding his marketing campaign, to send me a review copy so I too could bask in his revelry.

As for buying it, I’ll pass.

Anyone who can guess the name* of the QC wins a copy of Nathan Burney’s brilliant Illustrated Guide to Criminal Law. 

* Contest limited to the U.S., since nothing done here is worthy of the British.

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16 thoughts on “The Virtues of the English”

  2. Jordan Rushie

    Sir,

    English style: You have the charisma of a damp rag, and the appearance of a low bank clerk. Who are you? I’ve never heard of you. Nobody in Europe has ever heard of you.

    Good day, sir. I said good day.

    New York style: Fuck off.

    Also, his name was Nigel Worthington because that is the name of at least 75% of Englishmen. Maybe more.

  4. Noah

    FTW, but as a sitting judge, I don’t believe that Mr. Justice Featherstone could write such in propriety. Much more likely to be Soapy Sam, with moral lessons to be learned in each war story.

  5. Antonin I. Pribetic

    “A fool in good clothes, and something like thee. ‘Tis a spirit;
    sometime’t appears like a lord, sometime like a lawyer, sometime like
    a philosopher . . .”
    William Shakespeare, Timon of Athens, Act II, sc. ii.

  7. Wayne Clemons

    My guess is Wesley Snipes, QC

    If you saw a picture of the actor, and a picture of the Queen’s Counsel, and you were asked “Who should be named ‘Wesley Snipes’?” you’d pick the pale Englishman every time. Every Time.

  11. noah

    I just noticed that the prize was Nathan Burney’s book (reading comprehension FTW), so I’ll guess Geofrey Rivlin QC

  12. G Thompson

    My Lord,
    I humbly and sincerely thank you for your suggestion to henceforth purchase your tome.

    For my response I would direct you to the reply given in Arkell and Pressdram..

    Respectfully SHG

  13. Jamie

    Maggie Smith is the greatest. I look forward to five or ten years from now, when I can go back and re-watch Downton; it will be worth it just for her scenes.

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