Yeah, well, unfortunately the $222,172 we were going to give to cure [name your fav deblilitating disease] was diverted to another, more important, cause, according the National Institutes of Health:
The National Institutes of Health (NIH) is spending over $200,000 to study how men drinking alcohol look at women.
In an effort to limit “male-initiated sexual aggression toward female acquaintances,” researchers at the University of Iowa will analyze the actual eye movements of young men when they are drunk and sober.
This is cutting edge research, as previous efforts at research were cut short when the entire research budget was spent on buying beer. I mean, it’s Iowa, for crying out loud. Aside from meth, what else is there to do?
The project theorizes that men lose their “sensitivity to women’s sexual interest” as they drink. The study also will explore whether males aged 21 to 25 years old have “rape supportive attitudes.”
Protip: men lose their “sensitivity” to pretty much everything. Indeed, finding their mouth can prove an insurmountable hurdle if they drink enough alcohol. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told.
“In a third session, participants will complete assessments of drinking patterns, alcohol expectancies, rape supportive attitudes, insensitivity to women’s rejection cues in a simulated rape, and past history of sexual aggression,” the grant said.
Notably, the study is only designed to detect insensitivity to women’s rejection cues, since nobody assumes a woman might say “well, sir, I would actually like to have wild sex with you,” as that would be disgusting.
On the bright side, the professor running the study, Teresa Treat, did another NIH study last year, at a cost of $221,494, to study how alcohol affects men’s “learning about women’s cues.”
A study was proposed with gender roles reversed, but then it was revealed to be a joke and everybody laughed then got drunk. As for your kid with cancer, get over yourself. It’s not all about you.
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I translate enough grant proposals to know really shitty work when I see it. Maybe I can improve things.
“In a third effort to get your sweet fed money, participants will do a thing that costs money, another thing (money might be involved), a feminist thing that costs money, another, and a thing that costs money even though everyone’s guilty of sexual assault.”
Though given how much money Dad spends on vodka for rats, I might want to keep quiet.
Need your help.
Lot of beer. Lot of vodka too. A lot.
Are you offering me booze to mansplain to the government?? Where have you been all my life?
A new candidate for ‘fault lines’.. “Drunk Guys Translates Stuff”..
hell I’d drink while reading it..
So they give men free booze and tell them to flirt with women and see what happens?
How about giving women free booze and telling them to flirt with other women?
Same with men, just to see what happens.
Best part: You can sell this as a reality TV show and turn a profit
It would make compelling TV, but only if there was some extraneous cursing and fighting. If only someone could figure out a way to make that happen with drunken college students…
Sadly, my review of the grant indicates that the men will only be looking at pictures, thereby decreasing the odds of making people TV-worthy fools of themselves and limiting the ability to sell this as reality TV.
Nevertheless, I will take a stab at saving the gov’t 200K and give the results now: The drinking of alcohol reduces societal inhibitions in people and increases attempts at procreation.
I know. You are shocked.
Damn, you should have said “spoiler alert.”
A certain institute did a study once where they paid long-term pot users $1400 to eat lasagna, then get super high. I sometimes feel I missed my calling.
Shouldn’t they smoke the weed first? If an appetite was really important, I mean.
This is so cool. You’ve reimagined it as a government-funded eating contest for the chronically baked. Compelling interest my ass, we’ve got to have this.
No, no, no. Not down this path. No.
So I shouldn’t cite to you for my grant proposal?
Well, we could piggy back the studies. After all, what’s a drink without a nosh?
They already do that. I think they call the research project “Girls Gone Wild.”
Why was was this done at NIH not NIMH? This is a purported behavioral study, therefore psychiatry. I’d be fine with this study cannibalizing NIMH resources since all psychiatry is pseudomedical bullshit.
Any details on how they conducted the “simulated rape?” I’m getting a boner.
You are disgusting and repulsive. You can be in my study.
They used republican women, since they all reserve it anyways for thinking wrong…
I have the distinct sense that I may have made a mistake posting this, as things will not turn out well.
Don’t worry, Scott, with great scientists like Dr Tim Hunt on the case, we don’t need to spend lots of money on curing diseases.
1) From the story to which you linked: “Teresa Treat, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Iowa who is leading the study, has used photos of women who vary in attractiveness and provocativeness of dress in previous research.” Unless my reading of feminism and race is way out of date, there are a good half dozen sexist and racist implications to Treat’s methodology. Who is she to decide what body type, style of dress or race is considered normative on a scale of attractiveness and provocativeness for the purposes of her study?
2) I do not know whether I have ever read a study proposal whose ultimate conclusions were so clearly written into the proposed methodology. Question – when she “finds” what she has framed her “research” to “discover”, will she then suggest that facial recognition technologies be used by law enforcement monitoring live feed video cameras at bars so that the officers can spot by eye movements those who are committing “sexual aggression” with their eyes, and have evident “rape supportive attitudes” (whatever in the hell that Orwellian phrase means)? Who needs precogs when you got this?
3) Finally, I am distressed that there was no trigger warning to this post, or to Prof. Treat’s grant proposal. . . .
So you’re saying you won’t take the free beer she’s offering?
Free beer is not enough to get me to participate in a study pre-determined to find men rapists. (Now, if she was talking free Islay single malts, then perhaps I would reconsider. . .)