Cobb County, Georgia, Police Officer T.T. Carroll isn’t just a special cop. He’s an expert. It’s not just him saying so, but he’s got a piece of paper from the International Association of Police Chiefs that says so.
Pretty darn cool, right? And 160 hours is a lot of hours. Maybe not 10,000 hours, but still. What that course means, teaches, does, isn’t at all clear, but if you happen to be a cop on the road, and you say someone is on drugs, then you must know what you’re talking about, because you’re an expert.
Officer Carroll: “Watch your wrists for me, I don’t want to pinch you.”
Katelyn Ebner: “I’m going to jail for marijuana?”
Officer Carroll: “No, ma’am — not possession, unless I find any in your car. I believe you’re impaired by the marijuana you’ve smoked.”
Katelyn Ebner: “Okay, so when I do a drug test, I’ll be free to go, correct?”
Officer Carroll: “You’re going to jail, ma’am. Okay? I don’t have a magical drug test that I can give you right now.”“Before you felt the handcuffs closing over your wrist, did you understand just how serious this was?” Keefe asked Ebner.
“I didn’t understand,” Ebner said. “As soon as I took that breathalyzer, I thought I was going home.”
The waitress spent the night in jail, had her alcohol server’s permit revoked because of the arrest. After four months, prosecutors dismissed all her charges — because the blood test came back completely clean.
So he’s not an expert? Don’t be silly. Even experts aren’t perfect. But more importantly, maybe blood tests aren’t perfect.
Officer Carroll: “If I establish probable cause, and I believe that based on my training, so that’s why I put the handcuffs on you, okay?”
In other words, if Carroll pronounces you on drugs, that’s probable cause, sufficient to arrest and commence a prosecution. Sufficient to put you in cuffs, then jail. Sufficient to totally screw up your life and wait for the lab test to confirm his expert opinion.
Katelyn Ebner filed an Internal Affairs complaint against Officer Carroll.
Cobb County Investigators exonerated the officer and doubted Ebner’s innocence, insisting, ‘the marijuana could have already metabolized out of the blood.’
“When you brought up that you had a clean blood test when complaining to Internal Affairs, their answer was what?” Keefe asked.
“They said, ‘Yeah, we see this happen all the time. Um, the test results come back wrong all the time,'” she said.
All the time, those crappy clean blood tests. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Finally, doubt creeps into forensic testing, though not from the side of the courtroom one might expect.
“Yeah, that’s what they said,” Ebner replied. “The test results were wrong, and also, if I had a urine test, it would have come back positive for drugs.”
But Katelyn got her own urine test the same week as her arrest — scanning for any metabolites that would still be in her system. The urine test was also negative for marijuana — or other drugs.
“This training is so powerful, that they believe they can detect drugs that a blood test will not detect,” Keefe said.
No physical evidence of drug possession or use. No confirmation by lab testing. As junk science gets tested on one side, voodoo replaces it on the other. There are 250 officers on the road in Georgia who have this magic power, certificates proclaiming them “experts,” and they believe, enough so to seriously screw up people’s lives.
If only there was someone in a robe who questioned whether a piece of paper was good enough to confer magic powers on cops. But then, having already conferred magic powers on doggies, why not believe? After all, lab tests are wrong all the time.
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“Lab tests are wrong all the time”
That’s why the smart agencies use spaniels…
Spaniels are adorable and know stuff.
But spaniels aren’t labs.
Nah, the really smart agencies confirm every Lab Test by means of a Cat Scan.
Winner.
But just the prospect of having to face the Spaniel Inquisition could deter some offenders.
Nah. No one expects the spaniel inquisition.
Since the Supremes have let it be known that proof of training or certification is enough to vouch for the reliability of drug-sniffing dogs in Florida v. Harris, real-world results notwithstanding, this seems like a logical next step. Just certify the cops themselves as magical drug-detection machines, and skip the dog entirely.
So you’re a cat guy.
Did you forget the magical powers endowed by the black robes, which allow thwearers to wave their magic gavels, and make things all better?
Gavels are magic. That’s our system.
Hey:
That certificate and letter certainly look a lot better hanging on most walls that any law school degree, and the results are instantaneous – you go to jail because of my Georgia authorita. Obviously judges are impressed.
Do I sense a spatter of jealousy and/or envy?
The law degree, sure, but the Bestest Lawyer EVER!!! certificate, which only costs $449.95, is breathtaking.
Alright:
I searched the internet high and low and couldn’t find any “Bestest Lawyer EVER!!! Certificate” that would come close to the one for the drug sniffing cop (and only $499.95). Was it drawn by your younger relatives in crayon, and if so, why did it say “Lawyer” instead of Grandpa, Uncle or whatever?
I could have saved you some time. They are very circumspect in who gets to see/buy these very impressive certificates. You are unworthy.
Sigh!
You sound just like my wife.
Sorry to hear that your wife has a gray beard, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
But he had a certificate…
DRE experts are a joke, would any sane person believe a cop can tell what kind of drugs a $u$pect is on by comparing their pupil dilation to an eye chart?
Police also use a ‘magic’ flashlight which they point at a $u$pect’s eyes and based on their iris’s response to a light being shined in their face, can determine what type of drugs a person is on.
To find out more about DRE’s go to The International Association of Chiefs of Police website and type in ‘The international drug evaluation & classification program.’
[Ed, Note: Link added.]
It’s nice how the certificate is so full of itself that it mentions the 160 hours twice. If you complete the advanced course, are you Dr. DRE?
Okay, I’m going to have to find a way to work that one into my next cross of a DRE dude.
The Department of Redundancy Department at it again.
Do you think that the 160 hours include practicing on real people who may or may not be on drugs? What happens if they want to demonstrate, say, psilocybin intoxication, but can’t find anyone who has taken it? Do they then find a volunteer? Garnish some inmate’s salad with the drug?
The comments had been so good until now.
I’m such a buzz kill.
So, Dr. DRE, tell us exactly how you acquired your knowledge of psilocybin…
For the sake of humanity, you’re not allowed to cross.
Well, duh. I’m much better on direct.
Dr. DRE, over there — yeah the one with the smirk — says that he knows from personal experience that the sort of panic attack you were having is only caused by magic mushrooms. You’re actually lucky to be alive; he’s already had to kill five others having similar panic attacks.
People tend to make a lot of furtive gestures while having a panic attack. You can never be too sure. Or safe.
Maybe she had a green tongue.
Do you suppose the opening DRE lecture kicks off with “This one time, at band camp …”
Nahh. I bet it’s “So no shit, there I was…”
That line is usually followed shortly by “Here, hold my beer and watch this!”
The thing that you totally left out of the article, and the one thing that I think you can use to attack these kinds of things is:
HOW MUCH MONEY DID THE TAX PAYERS SPEND TO SEND THIS GUY AND ALL THE OTHER 250+ GEORGIA COPS TO THIS DRUG CERTIFICATION COURSE?
160 hours at say $20 a hour of cop wages equals $3,200 in time that was wasted by the tax payers sending these idiots to this clown school. That does not count and course fees, travel expenses, lodging, and all that good stuff.
If charges are getting dismissed all the time because of these nitwits, then that means our tax dollars are being wasted.
Where have all the “ghosts” gone?
Heroes.
Fubar
Sgnt Shultz
The current owner of the leather fringed Spence coat.
…and that Bennet guy, not the other Bennet guy.
Get the fuck out of the kiddy pool esteemed one.
Like you, they come, they go, they comment when they choose to comment. That’s how the internet works.
I see…
If Georgia is going to cut out the drug dogs and replace them with expert cops (Deputy Dawgs, if you will), I hope the training requires them to circle vehicles on all 4’s, and sniff tailpipes, vehicular and otherwise. That would definitely be worth the taxpayer training dollars.
Michael Woodward,
Yellowknife, Canada
Deputy Dawgs? Excellent.
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