A few months ago, I reiterated my desire to find something new, different, to do with myself. Since then, I’ve responded to some “help wanted” postings, mostly having to do with writing. When I learned that Jameel Jaffer had started the Knight First Amendment Institute at Columbia, I twitted at Jameel to send me an email so I would have his email address. He was kind enough to do so.
Scott — good to connect with you.
Jameel Jaffer
Executive Director
Knight First Amendment Institute at Columbia University
And I replied with the purpose of my request for an email from Jameel:
Thanks, Jameel. I’m very interested in what you’re doing. I recently decided that I needed a change from my 35 years of practicing criminal defense, and having spent a significant amount of time with First Amendment cases and issues, the Knight Institute struck me as something that I might very much want to become involved with.Don’t know what your status is, or whether anybody wants an old trials and appeals lawyer around, but in the off chance you do, I would really like to discuss this with you further.Best,Scott
You know what I heard? Nothing. Not a thing. No sorry, but we’re not interested. Not even, why would we want a shitlord like you? Nothing.
In fact, I haven’t heard back from anyone, any company, to which I “applied.” Not a single response to thank me for my application but I’m not what they’re looking for. Not even a, “lolwut? We don’t want a graybeard to harsh our mellow.”
It’s not at all surprising to me that an old guy isn’t quite what they have in mind when seeking collaborative cutting-edge whatevers. There is a list of reasons that I can think of that would prevent my consideration, not the least of which is a fear of age discrimination. Plus, my mere existence could well give rise to a hostile work environment, plus tons of sad feelz should I suggest that, you know, effective work and putting the job ahead of excuses might ruin the Millennial business model.
But that nobody could be bothered to respond and brush me off? That’s kind of pathetic. It’s also the new normal. I’m aware of how bots now vet job applicants such that the failure of a resume and cover letter to include the right jargon words about hegemonic patriarchal icebergs will preclude human eyes from ever knowing you exist. I understand that expedited mediocrity is the price they pay for the facility of algorithms, to save binary thinkers from the real labor of thinking.
But that’s why I included the Jameel Jaffer email. Does the Knight First Amendment Institute use bots? Does Jameel not read his own emails? Or is he that busy that he couldn’t find time to send me a reply? Maybe. Maybe not.
Having lived through all this when my kids were searching for jobs, and seeing what came of the vast silence in response to their carefully drafted cover letters, until that one response came in that told them they were not so insignificant as to be unworthy of even a polite brushoff, this comes as no surprise to me.
That does not make it any less offensive. How hard would it be for you kidz with mad computer skillz to prep a basic rejection letter that at least recognizes that somebody responded to your help wanted posting? And is Jameel so important, and am I so insignificant, that blowing me off with nary a word is the message he wants to send? Apparently so.
Heck of a world you guys are building. Your systems may not be as sound and efficient as you think.
Scott,
First, welcome to our (millennial) employment world. Please have a seat:
Second, generally speaking, I don’t think its bots or programmers so much as idiots in HR departments who are responsible for the shitty nature of modern job seeking. Of course, these are mostly staffed by otherwise unemployable gender studies majors (even at places like banks and accounting firms).
It’s curious that the same nice people who whine about their not being valued see it as being a one-way street. It’s also curious that the kidz who desperately seek to be treated respectfully have forsaken basic business etiquette in the performance of their duties. Nice chair, too.
Invented in the Middle Ages, no longer in production. However, for a fee, we can give you an introductory offer, with warranted satisfacation. Bring your own seatbelts, as those pictured are worn and may not be sufficient for the procedural torture for those with hemorrhoids and affiliated disorders.
But, but, but … their feelz. You are not thinking of their feelz. It is uncomfortable to tell someone you are not interested in hiring them. Plus telling the applicant no, might hurt their feelz too. So obviously, the polite thing to do is just ignore it all and it will go away.
Sadly, I suspect that’s what they would think, if they were to think at all.
Dear Papa,
Thank you for your interest. The world is moving in a new and exciting direction, and we’re afraid an “old trial and appeals lawyer” is incompatible with our worldview and “feelz.” Also, your longevity has priced you out of any affordable range unless you can subsist solely on warm feelings.
Best,
PseudoKid
Happy Father’s Day, Papa.
“New and exciting”? An interesting choice of words. Thank you, PK.
Slap him, the impudent snob.
P.S., the new and exciting direction is most likely to result in same-old-same-old,… if you catch our drift? Each new generrrration feeels it is incummmbent upon them to reeee-invent the wheeeel!
Murray The Wheel speaking hear now. Otherwise, a heartfelt response, for real.
I’ll assume two things: you’ve made a name for yourself; the various places you’ve sent missives to were read and considered. You probably scared the hell out of them. Who wants to invite an experienced alpha wolf into the pack? What you can bring to the table might appear to them as a threat to unseat their order. I don’t have an answer for how you get around that, but a little groveling might help.
When someone has the cojones to risk an old dog unseating their order, they may be have the grit to succeed. I would be wary of me too, but I would also welcome the challenge. The risk/reward ratio favors them enormously.
“You probably scared the hell out of them. Who wants to invite an experienced alpha wolf into the pack? What you can bring to the table might appear to them as a threat to unseat their order.”
Worse, as a lawyer who has honed his knives to a wire edge in a segment of the profession where most cases by far are an uphill battle, and resources can be scarce, he might even *gasp* have something to teach the younger, less experienced set. Why would lawyers with the horrors of school still fresh in their minds want someone who might possibly teach them in the course of normal business? Didn’t that fancy new diploma prove that they already know everything?
Then again, I might be assuming too much, but given that Mr. Greenfield didn’t get so much as a form denial as a courtesy reply, I believe that this may be one element at play – unless they didn’t even bother to think about him at all, in any way. To my way of thinking, that is worse. Correct me if i am wrong, but it seems to me that in the practice of law, having good people skills is an important thing, if you wish to be successful.
Or maybe they meant to respond, but then SQUIRREL!!! Who knows?
Maybe you have to send proof of heroic deeds before you can be a Knight of the First Amendment.
I think you dodged a bullet. Some of us go through all of the HR hoops and only find that an employer is half-ass and dysfunctional after we’ve worked there for a few months.
Recruiters must first run your resume through the Sledge-O-Matic wherein if any “parameters” are not deemed fit-worthy they are summarily Gallaghered. One way (that used to work) was to just show up – however, I empirically tested that recently and ended up being escorted out of the building.
SHG, i’d be very happy to introduce you to my wife who runs an interior design business. I turned down the open post because of my color blindness. You may be a better fit though, the color you provide here is vibrant.
Best,
Dan
You were talking to an academic. Academics are on the cutting edge as always. Back when I was looking for academic positions (~15 years ago), I got a bunch of interviews (the kind where they fly you out there to meet the dep’t and discuss research startup packages, etc.). About 80% never contacted me after that. You didn’t get a reply to an email? That’s amateur-level academic disdain.
Academics are people too. Small, petty people, often times, but people.
Something something making people stupider something something. Jameel is a front line litigator, not an academic. I know and have worked with him.
I don’t know why he didn’t respond to SHG. But, considering where Jameel was born, perhaps SHG should blame Canada.
Why do you hate academics, Canada and kittens?
It occurs to me, belatedly, that your reputation may be preceding you. Let’s face it: They may be doing you a favor by not wasting your time or theirs? I mean really, the great Admiral SHG re-entering the job market! Does not make a whole lot of sense,… unless you’re a glutton for punishment?
They think you’re “pulling their leg.” On the other hand, like that French restaurant kefuffle last winter, now that you’ve written about, perhaps now they will notice you. (You’re still not getting the job, with pretexts galore.)
Re-entering the job market may not quite capture what I’m doing here, but then, that dinner at Le Couscous was quite delicious and the reservation was worth every word of the post, even if it would have been more thoughtful of them to have comped the meal.
Heh, a baby boomer caught a fraction of what millenials have to deal with, and it hurt his feels.
Dead silence is the sound of rejection in the modern world, you don’t get an email, phone call, or form letter.
We get ghosted by hiring managers, employment agencies, you name it,on a regular basis, and had I made the same complaint, you’d have said something to the effect of “put on your big girl panties and deal with it.”
How’s it feel to be an old grey snowflake?
Is that what I would have said? Are you sure? You might have missed something here, because, you know, something something Millennial.
I guess she told you! However, we know you can take it, and give back as much. Ha. Big Girl Panties,… we luv it.
Get your mind out of the gutter, Bill.
It’s really kind of amazing how Scott’s words are reinterpreted through your millennial eyes. He wrote about the demise of traditional business etiquette at the hands of tech and millennials, and you read it as personal narcissistic butthurt and projected your entitlement onto him. We’re doomed..
Communication is hard when you’re not speaking the same language. I write thoughts. They read feelz. There isn’t much I can do about it.
Sometimes it’s better not to speak the same language. Did you ever go to a French cocktail party where you did not understand one word of the language?
P.S., A good time was had by all, notwithstanding the multitude of incommunicados and misunderstandings in rapid succession. Ha. A good time was had by all, for the record! Am I repeating myself?!? Or is it a *flashback*? Rhymes with flashlite in the backpack. Don’t leave home without one.
Poor millennials. It almost makes me want to go and weep. Almost, but the mood soon passed.
It will come back to ya when you listen to the Moody Blues. Remember them? Gheesh, where’s my record collection?
What eludes me is that they find this acceptable. Not only do they take being treated like mushrooms as a sufficient norm, but they do it to others as well. Basic etiquette is just too much effort.
Sorry for being contrarian, but not receiving a response is not the same thing as being rejected. Personally, I had to apply over and over for my current job for more than a decade (recession and all). Not once did I receive any sort of response prior to being granted an interview. It was made clear after being hired that applying multiple (scores) of times was seen as a plus by HR (showed initiative or some other buzzword), and rejection messages interfered with that process.
Even if you were rejected, what organization isn’t extremely litigation-sensitive? Or fearful of worse? The Doctrine of the Jesuits from 1880 mentions “silence is the best policy” specifically, and from appearances American HR departments have begun following the same since the mid-1990s.
So HR is following the 1880s Doctrine of the Jesuits? Somehow, I doubt that.
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