I like maple walnut ice cream. Other people may not, and based upon my experience at ice cream parlors, it’s not a sufficiently desirable flavor to be worth the freezer space. But I like maple walnut. I like it a lot. When it’s there, that’s the flavor I order. Because I like it.
It’s not that I hate other flavors. I like pistachio (the real kind, not the funky green stuff). I like vanilla. I like other flavors too. But I really like maple walnut. It’s my favorite flavor. So to me, maple walnut is the best flavor of ice cream. I don’t care for chocolate. I know, but it’s true.
You disagree? You’re wrong. It’s not that you can’t prefer a different flavor. It’s not that you can’t proclaim that maple walnut ice cream bites the big one. You can hate on maple walnut all you want, but that doesn’t change anything as far as I’m concerned. I like it. Whether you do or not has nothing to do with what I like.
Your hate on maple walnut cannot, no matter how many times you say it, no matter whether you use ALL CAPS to spew your hate, no matter whether you start your retort with “actually” and end it with “period,” change how much I like maple walnut.
Okay, enough about maple walnut. The point is that there are some choices that require no explanation. They are personal. They are visceral. They are what they are for no better reason than they are. Like guys better than gals? Cool. Like gals better than guys? Also cool. You are entitled to like whatever you like, without being subject to anyone’s condemnation for not liking what they like. Their preferences are no better than yours, just as yours are no better than theirs.
This prolix preface is proffered for the purpose of making a point. Arguing over the virtues of maple walnut is futile. You get no vote in my preference, and your calling maple walnut “literally Hitler” is not persuasive.
On the other hand, there are choices made based upon reasoning, sound facts and applied logic. Do you support a path to citizenship for Dreamers under DACA, for example. Yet, too many fail to consider such issues as anything more than their favored flavor of ice cream. There are rational arguments for and against this, though the reasons in favor far outweigh the reasons against, but the point remains that this isn’t just a matter of your personal preference.
The ability to distinguish between the choices we are entitled to make based on nothing more than personal preference and choices that demand grounding in reason is disappearing. In part, it’s a product of tribalism, that our irrational conclusions receive validation from others who share our irrational conclusions, making us feel that they’re not irrational if we’re not alone.
But that’s only part of the problem. People can agree on an outcome, a policy choice, but for very different reasons, or no reason beyond our knee-jerk feelings of the moment. When asked why, too many people fall back on the age-old facile excuses like “common sense” or “obviously” and “of course” to conceal our lack of rationale. It may be that we can’t manage to articulate our reasons well, but it may be that we don’t have any reason at all. It’s just how we feel.
That’s totally fine when it comes to ordering maple walnut ice cream. It’s insufficient when it comes to choices involving law, public policy, the lives of other people and the course society should take. Sure, the relative weight we give arguments, their persuasiveness, relies on our value system. Some of us value security more than liberty. Some value equality more than either security or liberty. And we are entitled to do so, as each of these are legitimate values.
But our values exist within a framework of facts and reason. Just because we extol the virtue of security above liberty doesn’t mean that it’s the answer to every question. If we need to distort facts, or plain lie about them, or engage in logical fallacies to justify our value-driven choices, then we are not only unpersuasive to others, but full of shit.
Did I convince you that maple walnut is the best flavor of ice cream, even though it is? Unlikely. You’ve had ice cream. You know what flavor you prefer, and nothing I say about my rank preference is going to make you agree that my preference is better than yours. Nor should it.
As we face a nation filled with overly passionate advocates, divisiveness and calls to “have a national conversation” that consists of scolds lecturing us on their favorite flavor of ice cream, we accomplish nothing and merely back ourselves into our respective corners. There is a huge difference between a rationale and a rationalization, and some of the best minds our nation has to offer have refused to acknowledge this.
For most of us, the problem isn’t that we can’t think, or that we’re ill-intended and disingenuous in those choices we make that aren’t purely matters of personal preference. The problem is that we refuse to do so, finding it far easier to express our feelings absolved of any responsibility to consider facts and logic in reaching our preferred outcomes.
You may be smart. You may be well educated. You may believe as passionately as possible that you’re in the right. But if you can’t base your choices in facts and logic, then you’re just ordering maple walnut ice cream. Which is, of course, the most delicious ice cream, after all, but a completely worthless basis upon which to run a country.
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SHG,
I am entitled to two scoops of maple walnut ice cream with bacon sprinkles, but the rest of you are limited to one. It’s a rule.
All the best.
RGK
I hear that’s a requisite for high office, which explains why the Senate likes you more than me.
That was a wholetogether different Senate, and it only had to like him once. Things might have changed once he started writin’.
Maybe, but they still wouldn’t confirm me.
Then I’m in good company, and you’d be way ahead: I’d have a hard time with that nomination stuff and all the laughter.
I watch confirmation hearings sometimes and mumble the answers I would give. It would make for an amusing hearing. And then I would take the train home.
Me thinks the phrase “_____, you ignorant slut” would be all over that transcript.
I try to change up my SNL references as much as possible, so there’s a good chance of “Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead” plus news for the hearing impaired, the odd church lady and, of course, a bit of Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood.
I’m just a caveman, and your reliance on SNL bits that all predate 1983 frightens and confuses me!
I’ve never heard of maple walnut ice cream and it’s not a flavour combination that’s likely to be available in this area. So, by definition, it can’t be very good, tin roof is the best flavour ever you Philistine. =P
We do get get a quart of real maple syrup shipped to us every year from my wife’s best friend in Vermont and it’s pretty darn good.
I pity your sheltered life.
Schwan’s Maple Nut
I may be a bit of a Philistine out here in Minnesota, but we have arguably one of the best maple walnut ice creams in the country. Certainly best in the Midwest. And they deliver it to your doorstep!
Yes. And so?
The problem with debating immigration is that it’s often like arguing about the merits of maple walnut ice cream with someone who hates it because it contains anchovies.
Or it’s not at all like arguing about flavors of ice cream and you’re doing it wrong. See?
This is a stunningly good entry for a Saturday morning.
My weekend posts are often my favorites. They get a bit more existential and personal.
So what you’re saying is that anyone who doesn’t like maple walnut ice cream should be deported?
Can’t fool you.
What, you don’t like tres leche ice cream, the flavor of the new millenium? You have something against licking DACA recipients?
You maple walnut supremacists, you’re going to be in the minority by 2045, and you’re on your way out!
I do like dulce de leche, if that’s any consolation. I do not plan to lick any Dreamers, however.
Delusional post.
There are universal truths about ice cream that admit of scientific analysis.
For example, neuroscience has demonstrated that a preference for mint chocolate chip ice cream allows for one of the most rewarding ice cream experiences a human being can have. A preference for maple walnut ice cream, on the other hand, allows for only one of the most unrewarding experiences.
Numerous psychological and sociological studies have demonstrated that more rewarding ice cream experiences result in greater individual happiness and greater societal well-being overall.
This is all without even getting into the cutting edge of feminist theory, which is now recognizing that a preference for maple walnut ice cream is a sign of privileged, oppressive whiteness.
Therefore, it is morally imperative to try to help you overcome the defects in your sense of taste that cause you to imagine that maple walnut ice cream is anything other than the soul deadening and socially disrupting cancer that it is.
This can be done gradually with intensive counseling. In the most extreme cases which prove resistant to counseling, brain surgery may prove necessary.
The good of society demands it.
You failed to mention the Patriarchy. I’m literally shaking.
I’m offended! There was no trigger warning!
Now I’m sitting in a corner with my tablet (last years model, the agony) and my comfort rats. Honestly, They’re not exactly comfort rats, but the condo association doesn’t allow pets. The rats the only animals in the building (I gave up on trying to use the cockroaches as comfort animals, no matter how I tried they wouldn’t come out during the day and Hell’s Kitchen had a fit when I tried to bring them in with me).
But we can all agree Scott that Neopolitan ice cream is literally Hitler
But at least it’s always served on time.
Good one.
Mary Anne Franks thinks maple walnut ice cream is the best.
See? Everybody has a redeeming feature.
I make a similar point with friends this way:
Me: That restautant has great fries.
Friend: They’re only ok.
Me: You are a horrible person. I hate you.
Fries? Were the crispy? Curly or string, or those disgusting greasy fat ones that are never sufficiently cooked?
Thank you for this post. My wife’s favorite ice cream is maple walnut (without the bacon). I can now use typical prosecutorial/LE reasoning such as:
Scott Greenfield is crazy. Scott Greenfield likes maple walnut ice cream. My wife likes maple walnut ice cream. Therefore, my wife is crazy.
I’m here for you, bro.
Probably nobody has attempted, as yet, to order a society based on maple walnut ice cream. But compared to strange women, lying in ponds, distributing swords, it has to be right up there.
We could do worse. And have.
Don’t you have a favorite topping? Nuts? Sprinkles? Maple syrup? Hot fudge sauce?
Used to be hot caramel. Now, hot fudge, definitely.
So, now you are forcing the maple walnut ice cream (my personal favorite as well) to assimilate with the dominant taste of the hot fudge? This creates a whole other issue for the maple walnut. The flavor knows it must interact with the hot fudge to coexist within the cone [or cup] society. However, the strong ties maple walnut has with its traditional flavor outweighs the commonality it has with the HF. Thus, the correct approach would be to acculturate both flavors. For the reduction of the dominant flavor of the HF so as not to destroy the maple walnut traditional flavor but allowing both to happily coexist, and allowing a smooth transition to a more multicream society.
Cultural appropriation is unacceptable, no matter what flavor topping.
I was not referring to assimilation whereas the maple walnut forgoes their traditional flavor to adapt to the overpowering hot fudge, but for both the maple walnut and hot fudge to keep within their beliefs system and cultural heritage, however, to also take on some aspects of each others offered flavors.
Great post by the way.
https://youtu.be/VwIsSshOiuc
If it makes our host feel any better, maple walnut is frequently available in ice cream parlors up here, gleefully fulfilling Canadian stereotypes and children’s stomachs alike and I’ll raise a scoop in your name next time I get some.
It doesn’t.
Try Stewart’s Maple Walnut if you get far enough upstate.
You’re trying to tempt me to shuffle off to Buffalo. Maybe in the spring. Late spring.
Never heard of Stewart’s. On the remote chance you’re not being a kidder give me a ring when you show.
I used to go to Stewart’s all the time as a kid, but chances of my being in Buffalo are slim.
Now I want maple walnut ice-cream, based purely on the fact that you said it’s your favorite.
You don’t give your persuasiveness enough credit.
It’s a more sophisticated flavor. Not the sort that children would favor, like mint chocolate chip.
It lost its sophistication, and you your persuasiveness, the moment you put hot fudge sauce on it.
Kathleen sent me the most delicious hot fudge. I see she didn’t send you any hot fudge. I am deeply appreciative of her wonderful gift.
That was very nice of her, and you are correct that she didn’t send me any. (Considering that we don’t know each other, I’d be shocked if she did.) But sophisticated ice creams should be enjoyed pure. Unlike more pedestrian flavors, they need no accessories.
Just because Kathleen didn’t deem you fudge-worthy is no reason to diminish her kindness. So sexist.
?. Not a fan of maple walnut though. Quaker Bonnet cinnamon is it. I cut my teeth on it with their hot fudge sauce. But since Sept 11 our federal overseers insist they not ship it. Dry ice is some kind of problem. The Bonnet is fit to be tied still. A steady business down the drain. Hot fudge remains available worldwide.
You’re welcome ????