Short Take: The Girlfriend Beater

A gentleman never hits a woman, which apparently puts him at a significant disadvantage in some relationships.

Whitaker discovered, of the 24 percent of relationships that had been violent, half had been reciprocal and half had not. Although more men than women (53 percent versus 49 percent) had experienced nonreciprocal violent relationships, more women than men (52 percent versus 47 percent) had taken part in ones involving reciprocal violence.

Regarding perpetration of violence, more women than men (25 percent versus 11 percent) were responsible. In fact, 71 percent of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were women.

What this says about the nature of relationships and domestic violence isn’t good. Without knowing more about the study, most notably the specifics of the questions posed as well as the universe of respondents, it’s impossible to say whether this study is any more significant than the myriad studies showing the existence of a rape epidemic based on self-reporting women where the category wraps “rape,” without definition, together with unwanted dating requests.

That men are physically abused was never the question. Of course they are, just as women are, right Lorena? But an open-hand slap by a 5′ tall, 98 pound woman, soaking wet, isn’t really comparable to a fist attached to a 6’3″, 198 lb. buck. Still, even a slight of stature woman can inflict some pain, even if the narrative denies this ever happens because women are made of sugar and spice, and everything nice.

Then there’s jezebel to ruin everything.

According to a study of relationships that engage in nonreciprocal violence, a whopping 70% are perpetrated by women. So basically that means that girls are beating up their BFs and husbands and the dudes aren’t fighting back. With Amy Winehouse busting open a can of whupass on her husband last week, we decided to conduct an informal survey of the Jezebels to see who’s gotten violent with their men. After reviewing the answers, let’s just say that it’d be wise to never ever fuck with us.

So if women from Jezebel ran the world, we should expect nuclear annihilation?

One Jezebel got into it with a dude while they were breaking up, while another Jez went nuts on her guy and began violently shoving him. One of your editors heard her boyfriend flirting on the phone with another girl, so she slapped the phone out of his hands and hit him in the face and neck… “partially open handed.” Another editor slapped a guy when “he told me he thought he had breast cancer.” (Okay, that one made us laugh really hard.) And lastly, one Jez punched a steady in the face and broke his glasses. He had discovered a sex story she was writing about another dude on her laptop, so he picked it up and threw it. And that’s when she socked him.

Who isn’t shocked, shocked, to learn that Jez-folk are violent? But more to the point, erudition notwithstanding, is the final sentence.

He was, uh, totally asking for it.

But for the complaint that men have oppressed women throughout history by using the “nuts and sluts” retort, this would be an absurdly crazy thing to say. Of course, anyone saying it would no doubt be “gaslighting,” as all argument that apply to men are inapplicable to women because they’re oppressed, and therefore under no constraint to not do to men what men did to them because they’re oppressed.

As the Psych News story opens, and as repeated in Jezebel, it’s just the new equity.

Women are doing virtually everything these days that men are—working as doctors, lawyers, and rocket scientists; flying helicopters in combat; riding horses in the Kentucky Derby. And physically assaulting their spouses or partners.

Some might contend that physical assaults are wrong, criminal even, and should never be valorized using the very worst argument that was used against you. Some might, but not Jezebel, where it’s women’s turn to “open a can of whupass” on men, because, uh, he was totally asking for it.

12 thoughts on “Short Take: The Girlfriend Beater

  1. Jeff

    8/28/07 6:45PM

    I thought I had heard about this before. Turns out the article is 12 years old?

    Not that it makes it okay, it just seems a little dated.

    Or am I missing something here? I’m probably missing something here.

    Reply
  2. Corey

    Knowing the general tone and tenor of Jezebel both now and at the time the article was written I would have said that the article was supposed to be taken tongue in cheek, but judging by the comments at the time the article was posted its clear that the audience didn’t take it that way. They saw it as a chance to brag about their own exploits in being on the abuser end and denigrate any man who takes a beating at their hands.

    The saddest thing is the realization that the article is 12 years old yet feels like it could have been written yesterday and with the Ronda Rousey wannabes over at Jezebel still rocking and rolling, its equally sad (or maybe scary?) to consider which of their new articles of similar ilk will be this relevant in another 12 years.

    Reply
    1. SHG Post author

      Twelve years ago, this was very edgy stuff. It could have been written yesterday, but would it still be edgy or banal? What it would not be is out of line for Jez.

      Reply
      1. Turk

        Pretty good example of demonstrating that which is acceptable at one time is no longer acceptable in another.

        But usually you gotta wait 50 years for that.

        Reply

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