Today’s an interesting day for your humble humorist. It’s the Big Game, and for a second year my team, the New England Patriots, isn’t playing.
This year my team didn’t even make the playoffs. Hell, the Pats didn’t even have a winning record this year. We kind of sucked.
So who do I want to see win today? What I want to happen and what I think will happen are two entirely different outcomes. I’d love nothing more than to see Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs make today the last stop on the Tom Brady Retirement Tour.
But then yesterday I got a really uneasy feeling watching Sam Raimi’s “The Quick & The Dead.”
If you’ve not seen the film, it’s a western set in a fictional town where a Mr. Herod, played by Gene Hackman, holds an annual quick draw gunfighting tournament.
Spoilers follow.
In the film, the Kid (Leonardo DiCaprio) challenges Mr. Herod to a duel hoping a win will finally earn Herod’s respect to a degree where the villainous tournament organizer will admit he’s the Kid’s illegitimate father.
Herod, after briefly reminding the Kid what he’s getting into, guns the young man down with a single shot. The Kid, stunned, utters, “That was faster than I expected” with his dying breath.
As the Kid dies, surrounded by throngs of female fans, Herod mentions something about his mother being a woman of ill repute before going on about his day.
So as much as I want to cheer the Chiefs to victory, I can’t. I see too much of the Kid in Mahomes and Herod in Brady.
Patrick Mahomes is incredible. He’s definitely the NFL’s next big star. He’s young, charismatic, ridiculously gifted and a great pick as the face of the league.
Tom Brady left New England and took Tampa Fucking Bay to the Super Bowl. Did anyone other than Brady himself actually see this happening? The NFL’s Stepford Wife got to the big dance after establishing his outlaw crew in another territory.
Mahomes has an opportunity for his second Super Bowl ring. The only problem is getting that ring requires him to beat the guy many argue is the greatest quarterback of all time.
And there’s the experience factor. Today is Patrick Mahomes’ second Super Bowl. For Tom Brady, it’s another Sunday at work.
I really want Mahomes and the Chiefs to win. The little voice inside me that’s usually right when I listen just keeps telling me today’s not the day they earn Tom Brady’s respect.
Happy Super Bowl Sunday, everyone! Enjoy and no matter what, let’s all have a good laugh at the expense of all parties involved so this week starts somewhat bearable!
No, a hundred times no.
Facts don’t care about your feelings.
If you could judicial notice Tom Brady into a shameful retirement my wife and I sure would be happy.
This year, alas, combined with years of being a Tennessee Vol Fan, was not meant for happiness when it came to football for this house.
I lost all interest in pro football when wokeness (Is that a word? Don’t care, it fits.) got injected into the game.
Given the advertisers that have pulled out or scaled back, I’m not alone.
Until I read your post I didn’t even know who was playing.
Weather is delightful so I’m going to take the grandkids and dogs to the park.
Good for you. That sounds like a fantastic day.
I’ll be pregaming around 4 pm today with some of Cousin Eddie’s latest batch.
That way by kickoff I really won’t give a rat’s ass about the outcome.
A southern boys favorite team is the Yankee-est team from Yankeeville?….
I married into it, GD. Was a Broncos guy until Peyton Manning retired, then I threw my lot in with my in-laws. Yet another reason we get along well.
Strategic fandom. Well played.
Brady has always drawn the good cards as far as supporting players. I’d wager if he had the Jacksonville or NY Jets lineup, he’d be sitting at home in his recliner watching the game like most other people. I’m not saying he’s not good, but it’s the coaching and players around you that lead to success.
As far as the GOAT, I’d say that mantle fits the shoulders of a Drew Brees or Peyton Manning before Tom Brady. They had good coaches, but their supporting cast wasn’t always so good, yet they still managed to have mostly winning seasons and make the playoffs.
Truthfully, my favorite quarterback was John Hadl of the San Diego Chargers. He was pre Superbowl era, but his battles with Jack Kemp of the Buffalo Bills were legendary. I believe if they had had the big game back then, Hadl and Kemp would have been sporting multiple championship rings.
Oh, and I hate Tom Brady so anyone who beats him and his team is great.
Peyton Manning is a saint in Knoxville. I’d gladly put him before the King of Traitorous Rat Bastards.
But Brady really likes winning. And this hasn’t been a cakewalk of a season either.
Here’s hoping his retirement tour ends tonight.
Mike, I can’t even. Brady is the GOAT. No one else comes close to his records and stats. Superbowl wins matter. The dude goes to Tampa and immediately has them in the big game. If Tampa wins tonight and he throws 5 TDs will that be enough? What else does he have to do on the field to earn your respect? If Mahomes stays healthy and keeps on the path he is on, he might make it one day, but not today even if his team wins.
I hate having to say the above. I wish it weren’t true, but I keep hearing this thing about facts and feelings.
Old age and treachery shall triumph over youth and skill.
Let’s just hope Brady, in the event the Bucs win, doesn’t impugn Mahomes’ mother’s good name.
The more experienced players will stay calm and find openings\mistakes the other guy does not . The team that makes the fewest mistakes at this level and takes advantages of the other guy’s mistakes will usually win.
Have a good one!
Brady is the best thing to ever come out of Mchigan football, and I will always love him. He is undeniably the GOAT by every possible measure.
However, he is old. He is slow. He tried his hardest to give the game to the hated Packers with 3 stupid interceptions. I don’t see this game going well for the Bucs.
This is the reason I am not a betting man.
Maybe it’s cause I haven’t watched football since late in the last century, but
whats all this GOAT talk about?…Do you mean the ones his wife sacrifices in black magic rituals before each game?
You’re unfamiliar with the Rule of Goats?
The Rule of Goats: even if you say you’re only fucking goats ironically, you’re still a goatfucker
To save anyone else a bit of searching: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q53rpoyfRx8