My old pal Carolyn Elefant is the guru of solo practice. She wrote an excellent book on the issue, Solo by Choice, and has been a stalwart of the blawgosphere at My Shingle. A decade ago, after law imploded following the 2007-08 recession that turned law school into death valley, and simultaneously gave us a bunch of lawyers, academics and marketeers who sought to take advantage of this “new” thing, the internet, to reinvent the practice of law, Carolyn found her niche arguing that life didn’t end when biglaw didn’t make a job offer, but that there was a future, a good future, in starting one’s own practice and hanging out a shingle. Get it?

Over the years, Carolyn has tried a variety of methods to keep her message fresh and interesting, but it’s hard when it’s pretty much a one-trick message and the climate for lawyers has heated up, so that there are jobs again and the solo practice alternative isn’t needed to feed the kiddos. When reinventing the practice of law was all the rage, there was a reason. When law students are getting a paycheck while pretending they’re doing it pro bono, there isn’t.

But Carolyn has a beef about how she’s been treated over the years, and she lets it out.

This recent article reminded me that it’s been two decades since one of my longtime favorite marketing gurus Seth Godin released the book, Unleashing the Idea Virus. The premise is that you give away your best stuff free and it will spread, eventually starting a movement and producing vast financial opportunities.

I dutifully followed Godin’s advice. For years, I gave away content at my blog MyShingle.com and even offered a free program at Udemy on starting and running a modern law practice to over 9800 students. Became known as a maven, the patron saint of solo and small firm practice, an ABA Legal Rebel and an influencer. Yet the promised financial opportunities never materialized, because as I finally realized, women can’t afford to give it away for free.

If you’re not into marketeering, neither the names nor their Ginsu knives will sound familiar, but for a while, they were all the rage. But Carolyn has a good point, why did these guys make money off their marketing when Carolyn, who gave it away for free, did not?

The same bias extends outside of legal. Think of the male authors who’ve all made a killing off a business book or blog that revolve around a single idea and become cult classics. Gary V and the power of hustle. Tim Ferriss and the four-hour work week. Mike Mikalowitz who devised the profit first philosophy. Michael Gerber of the e-myth franchise. The late Tony Hsieh and unparalleled customer service. Seth Godin himself. It’s impossible to think of a single female author whose ideas have achieved the same acclaim and mythic stature in the business world.

And the upshot, as Carolyn notes, is that the men made bank while she was told that she could speak for free, but there was no money available for her.

Like many woman of a certain age, I remember that cringeworthy warning to refrain from “putting out” on the first date or “shacking up” with a guy because “men won’t buy the cow if they can get the milk for free.” I mocked my mom and friends who advanced this sexist trope, but the truth is, out here in the business world, turns out that maybe mom was right after all. Making money by giving it away is a male privilege.

If it makes her feel any better, I’ve been doing this thing at SJ since 2007. It never made me rich, famous or better looking. And I am a man. While I give it away for free, it was never with the intention of becoming rich, and so I’ve never been disappointed that SJ didn’t get me big money speaking engagements or a TV talk show. Maybe I’m just not manly enough to make my privilege work for me like Godin, but my working assumption has always been that whatever it was I had to say, it just wasn’t enough to make anyone throw money at me.

Whether Carolyn’s giving it away for free, and then giving it away for free some more, demonstrates that making money off it is a male privilege is a good question. The other guys who achieved acclaim didn’t have much to offer that Carolyn didn’t. But at least Carolyn should know that her efforts were appreciated by me, even though we’re both pretty much in the same boat.