We interrupt your regularly scheduled Friday Funny to bring you my unsolicited thoughts on the second season of “Tiger King,” the Netflix docuseries about a gay meth-head country singer who once owned a bunch of tigers.

The following will contain plenty of SPOILERS (which I am advised I’m to type in all caps for those who believe such warnings necessary), so if you’re really interested in taking in the whole experience for yourself, come back to this post after watching the five episodes. For the rest of you with better things to do, read on!

*This season should have been sub-titled: “Someone Had Way Too Much Time On Their Hands.”

*Nice of Netflix to recognize no one would care about this shit if it weren’t for all the stay-at-home orders issued at the start of the pandemic.

*Joe Exotic’s got to get better counsel than a redneck gambler.

*I don’t care if you’re trying to look like the “Redneck Liberace,” it ought to be a crime to do that to a Cadillac.

*Speaking of crimes, once again there’s a certain “Goddamn these people are all crazy and belong in jail” vibe to all of this shit.

*Poor Joe Exotic has the worst of luck. His lawyers were going to try and bend Trump’s ear for a pardon at Mar-A-Lago, then Trump got COVID. When was the next time they tried to get the Cheeto-in-Chief’s attention for a pardon? January fucking sixth.

Oh goddamn Don Lewis was into little girls? If TBCB didn’t do him in for infidelity or his controlling nature, some Costa Rican daddy probably gave Ol’ Don the Harambe treatment.

*TBCB stands for “That Bitch Carole Baskin.” I’ll be using that quite a bit.

*TBCB’s entire diary is apparently on YouTube if you need nightmare fuel before you fall asleep.

*Ripper Jack is a great example of why you don’t trust armchair detectives or people on YouTube who swear they’ve gotten a law degree from Google.

*You’re shitting me. The daughters actually paid this guy money. P.T. Barnum was onto something.

*The dude who runs the boat store and looks like a grown up Chucky doll is pissed he got all the bad attention for fucking over Joe Exotic, so he goes to a place called the “Sausage Castle” to vent on some dude’s podcast. That pretty much tracks.

*Jeff Lowe comes off as a total sleazebag again, and his wife Lauren looks and acts like a goddamn millennial throughout this whole production.

*”Code 69” is GW Zoo staff code for “pretty girl on the premises?” Grow up, people.

*If I handed out ecstasy to park visitors like Jeff Lowe did to strippers who visited his “zoo,” I’m pretty fucking sure I’d have been involved in a few three ways with millennial strippers. But I’m not here to judge. Sort of.

*Amazing how quickly a con artist’s tune—and story—change when they need something to save their own asses.

*Tim Stark is a goddamn crazy person who gives off serious Sovereign Citizen vibes.

*Memo to non-lawyers reading this blawg: Calling the judge a pussy and whistleblowers “communist faggots” in open court is never, I repeat NEVER, a good look.

*The same thing goes with calling female reporters “fat bitch.” Have the decency to use her real name, for fuck’s sake.

*Second memo to non-lawyers: openly defying a judge’s orders in front of law enforcement while they come to take your shit is NEVER a good look and will probably land you in jail.

*Just don’t own exotic animals, kids. TBCB and her cuck husband Howard will probably try to take all of your shit.

*Don’t visit roadside zoos either lest you find yourself an extra in a Netflix documentary.

*If all of these fucking people would just shut up and not talk, like their lawyers probably told them a million times, none of this would’ve gotten on camera.

*This is where Netflix chooses to focus attention. The country was made legally dumber after the Rittenhouse trial concluded, and Tiger King Season 2 is the death blow that will forever condemn our legal system to the throes of American stupidity.

That’s it for this week, folks! Hope you’ve had a great Turkey Day, with no conflicts from your woke cousins or other family members, and remember: you didn’t wrap a Cadillac in tiger print, so you’re better than some people this year!

We’ll see you next week, everyone!