Welcome to 2022! We made it through the year in which “Mad Max” was to occur and there’s no signs of any roving motor gangs terrorizing wastelands. Yet.

Admittedly, the bar was very low this year compared to the absolute dumpster-fire of a shitshow that was 2020. That doesn’t mean 2021 wasn’t without its milestone achievements, like killing off the scientific method’s credibility in favor of “THE SCIENCE!”

In fact, as I sit in the beginning of August to write this, it’s hard to think of an American institution with some level of universal credibility. No one trusts scientists, public health experts, politicians, news pundits, entertainers, sports stars, journalists, tech companies…

I could go on, but your trust in a self-professed middle-aged crazy man on the Internet is probably waning. So let’s send 2021 off properly with all the jokes we can! Set the Wayback machine to

DECEMBER of 2020, with the Orange Man still in the White House bitching over the results of the presidential election while the rest of us celebrated Christmas. Assembling a team of lawyers that spectacularly managed to fuck up every legal challenge possible, Team Orange fouled up courtrooms across the country with one spurious suit after another.

Refusing to be outdone, the Orange Lame Duck took to Twitter and squawked about “stopping the steal.”

JANUARY greeted us in a socially distanced fashion. Viewers of the traditional ball dropping in Times Square saw Mayor DeBlasio and his wife dancing in what looked like a scene from the film “I Am Legend.”

Hope was fresh in many of our minds as Big Pharma, widely reviled by many, rolled out three COVID-19 vaccines. The government planned to start vaccinating the elderly and most vulnerable, until Nancy Pelosi and Kamala Harris said something about social justice being “essential” to public health.

As vaccines continued to roll out, Congress met on January 6th to certify the election results.

President Trump met with a boatload of idiots the same day to bitch and moan about his “stolen” election. In a remarkable display of Darwin’s theory of natural selection, many of those idiots stormed the Capitol building. Clad in everything from Buffalo horns to Black Rifle Coffee hats, the morons trashed offices and stole Speaker Pelosi’s lectern.

This was labeled an “armed insurrection” by the media and hammered by our alleged betters repeatedly when distractions from real problems were necessary. In fact, Congress called a special “January 6th Commission” to beat this point into our skulls.

Most surprising was the decision of every major social media platform to revoke a sitting President’s access to their services. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube collectively decided everyone had enough of his shit.

FEBRUARY saw the former President dodge a second impeachment proceeding. That month football star Tom Brady accomplished an impressive career milestone by winning a Super Bowl with a team that wasn’t the New England Patriots. Both men were quite proud of their respective successes.

Only one got to brag about it on Twitter.

A woman dubbed the “Gorilla Glue Girl” made headlines when she accidentally used the industrial strength adhesive on her hair.

Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from rapper Kanye West, citing the series finale of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” as the rationale.

MARCH marked 365 days of “two weeks to flatten the curve.” Many prominent conservatives took to social media and used the anniversary of lockdowns to point out how every “public health expert” got nearly every aspect of the pandemic wrong.

Most were promptly deplatformed off social media for the effort.

Performance art took a cultural nosedive when Cardi B. and Megan Thee Stallion performed the song “Wet Ass Pussy” at the Grammys stimulating sex acts. The same month rapper Lil’ Nas X released a song called “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” with a video depicting the artist riding a stripper pole to hell and giving the Devil a lap dance.

Both were lauded as pinnacles of what music could achieve in the modern era.

APRIL saw many states ease up COVID restrictions and the cessation of mask mandates despite CDC Director Rochelle Wallensky’s “impending sense of gloom and doom.”

With rising inflation, gas prices skyrocketing and questions emerging about the President’s son’s foreign business dealings, the CDC announced fully vaccinated people no longer had to wear masks in public. Parents will recognize this as the “Look at the Pretty Monkey” stratagem used to get toddlers to smile at cameras for pictures.

This caused an uproar among many. “What are we supposed to do, place everyone on the honor system?” was a frequent question on the lips of many who either forgot or never knew that’s how America’s always worked.

New York became the newest state to legalize marijuana, presumably as a means of preventing residents from fleeing the state in droves.

Derek Chauvin was convicted by a jury for the murder of George Floyd. People rioted when it was explained to them we don’t always impose the death penalty for criminals we don’t like.

MAY brought a hack of the Colonial pipeline, prompting its shutdown and a spike in gas prices. President Biden saw the best way to end this crisis was to give Russia more money and end sanctions on one of their oil pipelines before retiring to his room to eat pudding and watch “Matlock.”

President Biden also announced the US was getting 90 more days to figure out where COVID-19 came from. This presumably led to social media platforms allowing people to discuss whether the virus came from a Chinese lab leak without being called racist.

JUNE saw a decline in COVID cases, allowing some cruise lines to reopen and California Governor Gavin Newsome to allow people to dine at restaurants outside while triple masked and only removing their important face coverings to eat or drink. Thirty-three countries were allowed to enter the US again.

All of this was going on while a new COVID variant, called “Delta,” appeared and started making its way through populations around the globe.

In a rare moment of unity, Congress passed a measure making Juneteenth a Federal holiday. Many Americans didn’t notice the change, which made other Americans call them racists.

In other words, it was another day in the week.

JULY saw the White House, the CDC, and numerous public health experts announce they’d fucked up yet again with their response to COVID. Now even the fully vaccinated would need to mask anytime indoors when people outside their family were present.

Most red leaning states said “lol we’re not doing that.” Blue leaning states decided to lock down more.

The former Cheeto-in-Chief tried to sue Google, Facebook, and Twitter. As usual, none of the suits went anywhere. Turns out despite being a Very Stable Genius, he wasn’t really clued into how facts, the law, or regular life works. Who’d have guessed it?

A group of Texas Democrats fled the state on a private jet to avoid voting on a voter integrity bill. Most had arrest warrants issued for their stunt. Many contracted COVID while hobnobbing with other politicians in Washington. Everyone on both sides of the aisle in Texas called each other bigoted fascists who wanted to suppress voting rights.

In other words, it was a Tuesday.

AUGUST brought an end to the term of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo after reports surfaced he was a dirty old man who liked to play grab-ass with his subordinates and staff.

Numerous states attempted to pass bans on mask mandates, only to have those ban attempts thwarted by people who still trusted TEH SCIENCE. Retailers began recommending even vaccinated customers wear masks indoors again.

As usual, people in red states said “lol we’re not doing that anymore.”

President Biden announced a complete withdrawal from Afghanistan, despite there being a skeleton crew of US troops in the region and little to no troop deaths in years. The operation let countless US green card holders, Afghans with SIV status, and numerous US citizens stranded in the now Taliban controlled country.

Thirteen US Servicemen died during what the President referred to as the “most successful evacuation attempt in US History.” President Biden quickly blamed COVID and Donald Trump for the problems in leaving the region. The Taliban, now in control of Afghanistan again, said “whatever bro” as they did donuts in the sand with US military transport vehicles.

North and South Korea traded missile tests while the US State Department announced plans to fly the Transgender Pride Flag at embassies across the world. Except, of course, where such displays would offend “traditionally marginalized people.”

SEPTEMBER came and President Biden announced the end of his patience with the Americans yet to be vaccinated against COVID-19. Vowing public compliance or else, Biden invoked the power of OSHA to require employers with 100 or more employees to require vaccination, submit employees to weekly testing, or be fined obscene sums of money.

Groups across the country sued the Biden administration over the mandates. A prominent conservative-leaning website started an email petition to arguably help their case against the mandate. Apparently they either forgot online petitions do nothing to help anyone or they were just trolling for new idiots to add to their email list. You be the judge.

OCTOBER saw a young NASCAR driver win at Talladega Speedway. A reporter tried to ask Brandon Brown how he felt about winning such a prestigious race as the crowd behind him chanted “Fuck Joe Biden.” The reporter tried to cover for the crowd’s boorish antics by claiming the NASCAR fans were actually chanting “Let’s Go Brandon.”

Republicans seized on the moment. “Let’s Go Brandon” became the in vogue way to criticize the sitting President. This upset Democrats the more it was used. Some complained saying “Let’s Go Brandon” upset traditional norms and respect for the office of the President and tried to counter the slogan by saying “Thank you Brandon,” which made no sense whatsoever.

Music took yet another hit as no less than three different rappers soared to the top of the Apple Music charts with songs called “Let’s Go Brandon,” even outselling Adele.

Curt Hennig was right. Rap really is crap.

NOVEMBER saw a crowd trample people to death in Texas at a concert called “Astroworld.” The concert organizers were later sued over the deaths, and sadly not because the music sucked and no refunds were given. A man drove an SUV through a Christmas parade in Waukesha, Wisconsin, killing and injuring many people.

Two events would overshadow these tragedies. The first was the shocking defeat of Democratic frontrunner Terry McAuliffe in Virginia for the Governor’s mansion to Republican Glenn Youngkin, who capitalized on parental desire to have a say in their children’s education for the upset win. Winsome Sears won the Lieutenant Governor’s race and became the first person of color to hold that office in Virginia history.

Progressives responded to this by calling everyone in Virginia racists and declaring Lieutenant Governor Sears the “new face of white supremacy.”

Event number two was the appearance of OMICRON, the newest variant of COVID spotted by a doctor in South Africa. Despite the symptoms presenting as very mild, governments and public health officials around the globe reacted by locking everything and everyone they could down again, reinstating mask mandates and urging people to get their five-year-olds boosted immediately so Christmas could be safe and socially distant.

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade returned to New York City in a sign of life returning to normal. Unfortunately Santa didn’t bring a mask with him for the parade, but no one dared pull Karen on the jolly old elf. Turns out people still respect some institutions after all!

DECEMBER saw Joe Manchin end up on President Biden’s Naughty list when he announced his refusal to sign on to the Build Back Better spending bill. With the signature social spending legislation essentially shelved until the New Year. Congress tried to divert attention to voting rights, canceling student debt, and other issues that sounded nice on paper but didn’t amount to any real change.

Ayanna Pressley made some stupid comment about student debt being “policy violence.” No one gave a shit beyond the day it took to roast the Congresswoman for saying something stupid on Twitter.

Families around the world celebrated Christmas again. Except for Anthony Fauci’s family, because America’s Public Health Jesus declared to a caring audience of zero that for the first time he wouldn’t be visiting with his family for the holidays.

No one cared. Fuck that guy.

As we ring in 2022, let’s not forget some of the good that came this year.

Big Pharma gave us the blessed vaccines against COVID (which you really should get if you haven’t by now).

Movie theaters started showing movies to full houses again, even if patrons were masked.

Families gathered once again to celebrate the holidays in a proper fashion.

And we got another year of fun and laughs at the SJ Hotel.

Since we’re at the end of the year, I’d like to make one wish if possible to all of you who’ve read my stuff every Friday for the last 52 weeks. If you could share the daylights out of this sucker on social media with the hash tag #BetterThanBarry, I’d be tickled.

Let’s see if we can’t get the attention of the OTHER guy who does these Year in Review posts.

It’s been a great year, SJ readers. We’ll do this again come January 2022!