Ed. Note: Chris Seaton is unavailable due to a family emergency for this week’s Friday Funnies, so I asked Keith Kaplan to use Google’s new Bard AI to come up with a story about Sheriff Roy in Mudlick. Here’s what it came up with.

First effort:

Sheriff Roy: A True American Hero

Sheriff Roy was a true American hero. He served his community with distinction for over 20 years, and his death is a great loss to the people he loved and served.

Sheriff Roy was born and raised in a small town in the Midwest. He was a star athlete in high school, and he went on to play college football. After college, he served in the Army for two years.

After his discharge from the Army, Sheriff Roy returned to his hometown and became a police officer. He quickly rose through the ranks, and he was eventually appointed Sheriff.

Sheriff Roy was a tough but fair lawman. He was always willing to help those in need, and he was a strong advocate for justice. He was also a devoted husband and father.

Sheriff Roy was killed in the line of duty while trying to stop a bank robbery. He was a hero to the very end, and his death will never be forgotten.

Sheriff Roy was a true American hero. He served his community with distinction for over 20 years, and his death is a great loss to the people he loved and served. He will be remembered as a man of courage, integrity, and honor.

Sheriff Roy was a true role model for young people. He showed them that it is possible to be a good person and a good law enforcement officer. He also showed them that it is important to stand up for what you believe in, even if it means putting your life on the line.

Sheriff Roy’s death is a tragic loss, but his legacy will live on. He will be remembered as a man who made a difference in the lives of so many people.

Second effort:

Sheriff Roy: A True American Hero

Sheriff Roy was a true American hero. He served his community with distinction for over 20 years, and his death is a great loss to our community.

Sheriff Roy was born and raised in our community. He was a graduate of the local high school and went on to study law enforcement at the state university. After graduating, he returned to our community and began his career as a police officer.

Sheriff Roy quickly rose through the ranks of the police department. He was a dedicated and hardworking officer, and he was always willing to go the extra mile to help others. He was also a strong advocate for law enforcement, and he worked tirelessly to improve the safety of our community.

In 2000, Sheriff Roy was elected sheriff of our county. He served in this position for over 20 years, and during that time he made a significant impact on our community. He was a strong and effective leader, and he was always willing to listen to the concerns of his constituents. He was also a compassionate and caring individual, and he always put the needs of others before his own.

Sheriff Roy’s death is a great loss to our community. He was a true American hero, and he will be remembered for his dedication, his hard work, and his compassion.

Sheriff Roy’s legacy will live on in the many lives he touched. He was a true role model, and he will be remembered for his courage, his strength, and his dedication to his community.

Sheriff Roy was a true American hero, and his death is a great loss to our community. He will be remembered for his dedication, his hard work, and his compassion.

Third effort:

Sheriff Roy was a man of many talents. He was a skilled lawman, a wise counselor, and a true friend. He was also a man of great integrity, and he always put the needs of his community first.

Sheriff Roy was born and raised in the town of Bonanza, and he knew every nook and cranny of the county. He was a natural leader, and he quickly rose through the ranks of the sheriff’s department. He was a tough but fair lawman, and he always upheld the law to the best of his ability.

Sheriff Roy was also a wise counselor. He was always willing to listen to the problems of his friends and neighbors, and he always offered sound advice. He was a true friend, and he was always there for the people he cared about.

Sheriff Roy was a man of great integrity. He always put the needs of his community first, and he never hesitated to put himself in danger to protect the people he loved. He was a true hero, and he will be remembered for his courage and his dedication to the people of Bonanza.

Sheriff Roy’s death was a great loss to the community of Bonanza. He was a true hero, and he will be remembered for his courage and his dedication to the people he loved.

The following are some of the memories that people have of Sheriff Roy:

* Sheriff Roy was a kind and generous man. He always had a smile on his face, and he was always willing to help others.
* Sheriff Roy was a brave and courageous man. He never hesitated to put himself in danger to protect the people he loved.
* Sheriff Roy was a true friend. He was always there for the people he cared about, and he always had a kind word to say.
* Sheriff Roy was a man of great integrity. He always put the needs of his community first, and he never hesitated to do what was right.

Sheriff Roy will be remembered for his many contributions to the community of Bonanza. He was a true hero, and he will be missed by all who knew him.

Ed. Note: At no time was Bard told that Sheriff Roy died. Less than thrilled by the results. Keith then asked Bard to write a sarcastic post about Sheriff Roy. Here’s the result:

Sheriff Roy Mud Lick is a man of many talents. He can’t seem to do anything right, but he’s always trying. He’s the sheriff of Mud Lick, but he’s never actually caught a criminal. He’s the best cook in town, but his food tastes like garbage. He’s the most handsome man in Mud Lick, but he’s got a face like a bulldog.

But Roy Mud Lick is a man who never gives up. He keeps trying, even though he knows he’s going to fail. And that’s what makes him such an inspiration to us all. We can all learn something from Roy Mud Lick. We can all learn that it’s okay to fail, as long as we keep trying.

So next time you’re feeling down, just remember Sheriff Roy Mud Lick. He’s the guy who can’t do anything right, but he’s always trying. And that’s what makes him such an inspiration to us all.

Here are some specific examples of how Sheriff Roy Mud Lick has failed:

* He once tried to arrest a criminal, but he ended up getting arrested himself.
* He once tried to cook a meal for his family, but he ended up setting the kitchen on fire.
* He once tried to woo a woman, but he ended up getting rejected.

But despite all of his failures, Sheriff Roy Mud Lick is a man who never gives up. He keeps trying, even though he knows he’s going to fail. And that’s what makes him such an inspiration to us all.

Ed. Note: The practice of law is safe from Bard AI. For now, anyway. Miss you, Chris.