Since my son went off the college, he’s brought his friends from college whose either lived too far away to go home for Thanksgiving or couldn’t afford the trip. We always wanted to be the place they were welcome. For well over a decade now, we’ve shared Thanksgiving at Casa de SJ with who our daughter dubbed the “Lost Boys.” They became part of our family.
This Thanksgiving, our son came home with his special person, who is brilliant, lovely and brings me hope of becoming a grandfather some day. But the Lost Boys? They were here last year, except one who was supposed to come but mysteriously went silent and ghosted us at the last minute, causing Dr. SJ much concern and sadness. This year, they no longer needed a second home, a second family, so they wouldn’t be alone on Thanksgiving.
One, like my son, found a special person of his own, and he would be spending Thanksgiving with her family. Another moved across the country and has become even more lost than she, as he now prefers to be referred to, was before. She has a new group of supportive friends, which is good, but seems to be grasping at straws to fill an emptiness in hiser life. It’s not so much that she’s discovered himself to be transgender, as she is desperately seeking control over his life and this was an easy fix. I hope it’s the fix she needs, but I doubt it.
And the third? Well, I hear from him when he needs something, and don’t when he doesn’t. I guess life is good as I haven’t heard from him in a while now, and my emails go ignored. It’s just like my real children.
I am thankful for the Lost Boys. I am thankful that they joined us for Thanksgiving for years, from when they were snot-nosed college kids to well-educated and compensated professionals. I am thankful that they have now moved on with their lives, as all children should and must.
To be fair, there came a point when I was annoyed that they would arrive year after year without the thought of bringing a bottle of wine or a pecan pie with them. When they were undergrads and didn’t have a pot to piss in, that was one thing. When they were getting Google-sized paychecks after they got their doctorate, they could afford a little courtesy, as well as a little appreciation. But then, if they weren’t invariably socially awkward, they would likely have found better places to go for Thanksgiving years ago.
This is the first Thanksgiving in years that Casa de SJ has empty bedrooms. The Mencken Wing is quiet. We didn’t have to add any leafs to the dining room table or bring up extra chairs from the basement. I am thankful to have my family here with me, and to still be here so they have a home to come to. I am thankful for my son’s special person, and fully encourage him to do everything possible to make her “girl egg.”
And I wish the Lost Boys a wonderful Thanksgiving, wherever they are and whatever they are doing. I hope they find comfort, joy and peace.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, and thank you for reading SJ.
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My own boy is spending this Thanksgiving with another family because we are in the camp of it being too expensive to fly him back home for five days. This will be his fourth one at someone else’s. Despite us being not rich, he will pick up a moderately priced bottle of wine to bring to his host today. Before he was legal, he’d bring a box of chocolates or some other treat he picked up at the Trader Joes near his campus.
I do wish he’d attended school closer so we could be the home hosting. His first year in college, there was still the covid madness going on, so two of his friends, international students, could not fly back home. They flew down to Austin and spent the Christmas break with us and it was such a wonderful few weeks with so much energy in the house. I am glad in subsequent years they could go home, but what a time that was!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. And it is appropriate to remember those absent from the table whether voluntarily or gone to their reward.
Happy Thanksgiving, Scott.
The passage of time is a strange thing, no?
But, oh! The memories!
For my part — like you, I miss the Lost Boys — but it’s a different group, all bloggers, and included more than a couple gals, too — yet the memories are warm, wonderful, and a reminder that some things in life are, after all, truly amazing.
Even if they aren’t on a sandwich. (An old joke of my dad’s he trotted out any time someone said the word “amazing.” He thought it a funny word: it always reminded him of “mayonnaise,” for some reason.)
Happy Thanksgiving Scott and family.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Thank you. Now, Thanksgiving can truly begin.
May you have smiling grandchildren at your table in the future. A lot of them. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving has long been my favorite holiday. Good food, friends, family, no religious or patriotic framework to offer or suffer obeisance.
We’d traditionally been the hosts for the immediate family and parts of the extended, but frequently bringing in some we would call “strays.” Those were folks who’d be alone or were new to the community or just a small family. But now, as we age, our kids host. This year their were 10, family, and yes, I’m delighted to say, a few strays. Really we couldn’t have asked for more.
I’m a dau late with the wish, but Happy Thanksgiving!