I love a parade. I love the Memorial Day Parade they hold every year in the hamlet, with firetrucks and classic cars, marching bands and little league teams, more firetrucks and a fellow dressed like Uncle Sam on stilts handing out American flags. It lasts almost a half hour, as we sit with our friends, our kids, the dogs, and sip morning coffee. I love it. It is quintessential Americana.
There was a parade planned to honor the Army’s 250th Anniversary planned over the past two years, but it all changed after Trump was elected. It was the parade equivalent of his redecoration of the Oval Office, turning it into a mass display of weaponry that surely impressed Putin and Kim. Unfortunately, not too many other people were impressed. Or to be more frank, cared as three hours dragged.
Trump looked dour and bored, which is a shame since it was his birthday. Did I mention that this parade, the one he’s desired since his first term to fill his need for grandiosity, just happened to fall on his birthday? What kismet!
Did he not realize that the first Abrams tank looks pretty much like the 28th Abrams tank? All it takes is the time needed for tank after tank after tank after . . . well, you get it, to roll before the VIP stands.
How cool would it have been had the parade consisted of a display of Army uniforms and equipment over 250 years, with the old rolling before the new, and a band from each era playing patriotic music. Who doesn’t love a Sousa march?
At the end, there could be a paratroopers landing in front of Trump and giving him a flag that he would hand off to some intern, never to be seen or thought of again. And an hour later, which was already a pretty long time to sit there and watch, it would be over in all its glory. To Trump’s enormous credit, he gave only an 8-minute speech and didn’t use the word “scum” at all.
Trump media went to great pains to disconnect the parade from Trump’s birthday to deflect any claim that this wasn’t really about the Army but about Trump’s need for self-aggrandizement.
Over hours of coverage, conservative commentators repeatedly framed the parade as an expression of appreciation for the armed forces, free of any political messaging.
“A lot are saying that the president is trying to make this somehow about himself because today is his birthday,” Jackie DeAngelis said on Saturday during “The Big Weekend Show” on Fox News. “The left always will take something and just find whatever they can to spin it into a negative place.”
But the program’s conscious choreography did not fully expunge the reality that Mr. Trump had pressed for such a display since his first term in office, despite objections from advisers and top Pentagon officials.
Does Trump love the military, bone spurs, losers and suckers notwithstanding? Would he love the military any less had he stuck with the Army’s original plan for the parade rather than his Trumpian (or Kimian) display? No matter. It happened and Trump got what he ordered.
There were things that should have been better handled, given what it was. There were things that even Trump couldn’t control, like the cold and rainy weather. And then there were the “unknown unknowns,” the murder and shooting of two Minnesota legislators and their spouses and the bombings of random Israeli civilians by Iran and an Iranian oil refinery by Israel, that sucked the media attention away from Trump’s glorious demonstration of military expense, except on Fox news which studiously showed troops and armored vehicles moving along the parade route in a sea of olive drab and camo, raising the question of the efficacy of camouflage uniforms in urban settings.
The parade was, at its best, underwhelming. At its worst, it was just a bore. It wasn’t for lack of expense, as no expense was spared. It was for lack of interest, especially on a day when other, more exigent, things were happening that focused attention elsewhere. In the scheme of Trumpian grandiosity, it served its purpose. Trump got the birthday parade he wanted, craved, to show the might he controlled as president, and the equipment he could muster merely upon his command.
It was the perfect parade for its moment, long, boring, expensive, poorly planned, poorly attended and overshadowed by far more important events. But it was grandiose, and isn’t that what really matters?
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“A lot are saying that the president is trying to make this somehow about himself because today is his birthday,” Jackie DeAngelis said on Saturday during “The Big Weekend Show” on Fox News. “The left always will take something and just find whatever they can to spin it into a negative place.”
How richly ironic considering the media outlet and his MAGAsty’s penchant for name calling and petty “paybacks. “ Is there no maturity to be found the conservative right? Pot calling kettle!
“At its worst, it was just a bore.” I thought it was a lot worse than that. How many people were fired from their jobs to reduce the national debt, only to have tens of millions of dollars wasted on this? I found myself wondering how they were feeling as they watched this. If he really wanted to honor and celebrate the Army, I would have welcomed a small and tasteful ceremony with an announcement of more funding for programs for veterans and those serving our country.
“Linus, play to me!’ No one does it like Preston. Thanks for cheering the day up, Howl.
I went. Here are my observations.
Festival:
The festival before the parade was well done. There were demos, displays, exhibits from a wide range of Army units and roles. There were helicopters and army vehicles to see and get into. The soldier were engaged with the visitors and you could tell they were happy to show off what they do to the public.
Parade:
The parade was long and repetitive. It stated with soldiers marching in uniforms and rifles from the Revolutionary War, Civil War (Union only), WWI, WWII, Vietnam, and Gulf War. There were some WWII tanks and other vehicles. There were also a fair number of Army bands. That part was good. The rest of the parade was just unhappy looking soldiers marching in formation and modern tanks and other army vehicles. It went on like that for quite a while. It ended with West Point Cadets and some new recruits.
Security:
The security felt opposite of what you would find in a free country. Police and Army MPs were everywhere. There were miles and miles of fencing. There was only two entrances to the festival and one on each side of Constitution Ave for the parade, and the security was tighter that TSA (and the screeners were TSA and Secret Service). For example, plastic water bottles were allowed, but not metal or glass. Getting out after the parade sucked because the fencing corralled us to one exit, which was not near the actual parade viewing area. The Smithsonian Metro stop was in the middle of the festivities, but the entrance was closed. I think it should at least have been open to those leaving the event.
Parades by their very nature are highly viewpoint dependent. Arguing about the specific execution of a particular parade seems more akin to an excuse to stage a concurrent partisan MMA match.
These days, pushing 50, I heavily favor parades as a celebration of a particular locality, ie fire trucks rather than tanks
But I also remember being gobsmacked — when I was 10-sh — at the ceremony Fort Hood held for the unveiling of the latest Apache helicopters. Uultimately, bulk military hardware just looks cool.
What bothers me about this one isn’t the timing, logistics, or convenience for attendees: it’s the likely intended audience. Bizarrely, it seems designed for international audiences in almost an homage to the old Red Army style parade-as-show-of-strength.
Think the Red Army’s mobile nuke launchers, or the more modern DPRK nonsense flexing.
I certainly hope it’s just Trump wishing he were Brezhnev, but the alternative may be a mobilized equivalent of Chekov’s gun.
Security measures for attendees, logistical competency in execution, and timing could all be “Hanlon’s razor” style screwups.
The pageantry suggests a larger audience, which is absolute crazy-pants.
Say what you will about “America first” isolationism, and its impact on world order.
That wouldn’t need a parade, at least.
Many were disappointed that there were no balloons of super heroes and cartoon characters. Trump himself is said to be despondent…