My kids have a school dance tonight. It’s my son’s first of middle school and one of the last my daughter will see at this particular grade level. And of course, because I’m a sucker for this sort of thing, I’m chaperoning everyone.

The school has a very interesting schedule for dances. Sixth graders come an hour before everyone else is allowed in. They dance and holler for an hour and none of the other kids are even in the building. After that first hour, the sixth graders are shuffled out and the seventh and eighth grades arrive for the big dance.

Personally I’m a fan of this system. Sixth grade is a weird enough age for kids. They don’t need to be mixing with their older peers at a dance. Does this make me a prude? Answer: Yes, and I’m quite comfortable with that, thank you very much.

My son and his best friend weren’t initially going to the dance. Then my wife decided to bribe the two of them into going to dinner beforehand anywhere the boys wanted. We were certain he was going to pick Chik-Fil-A or some pizza place. The boys chose a hole in the wall Thai restaurant next to my grocery store.

Kids these days will keep you on your toes, I swear.

I won’t stay for either dance session. The boys don’t want me there and my daughter’s going with a group of friends who watch each others’ backs like hawks. I’ve been effectively reduced for the purposes of this evening to a goddamned chauffeur.

And you know what? I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. I didn’t have a friend to get Thai food with when I was his age and then go to a dance. My dad was too busy to take me and my pals out for even as much as a burger most nights. So the chances I get to give my kids the experiences I never had? You can bet your ass I’m going to exploit every single second of it.

This evening I’ll go pick up my daughter around 8:30 in the massive car line that wraps around the back of the middle school. If I know my girl, she’ll probably fall asleep in the car on the way back home so I’ll end up tucking her in bed when we get back ten minutes later. My son will most likely be reading in bed when I check in on him across the hallway.

Both will be exhausted, and I’ll spend a good two hours after that decompressing on the couch by reading “Dungeon Crawler Carl.”

In short, it’s going to be a damn good Friday night here in Knoxville. One I wouldn’t miss out on if you put a gun to my head.

Y’all have a good weekend and GO VOLS. We can use this cupcake matchup on Saturday against Kennesaw State before Texas comes to town…

What exactly is a Kennesaw anyway?

Sorry. I got sidetracked for a minute. Bye now, y’hear?