Personally, I was more than a little peeved that Sanjay didn’t hire me.  (Note to Sanjay:  I coulda done better.)  Some of the wags commenting on this piece are busy citing Caplan & Drysdale and Monsanto, as if those decisions had anything to do with it.   

Here’s the real skinny.  While collar criminal defendants have no clue where to turn for their defense.  But they are white shoe guys, and their knee-jerk reaction is to go big, fancy and powerful.  So they naturally turn to Biglaw under the misguided notion that Biglaw would never steer them wrong.

Now understand something about Biglaw.  They don’t do criminal defense.  Not really.  What they do is hire former AUSAs, and when some white collar case walks through the door, bingo! They have a ready-made criminal defense expert!  Plenty of criminal experience.  No criminal defense experience.  No inclination to fight the government.  But that’s not the Biglaw way.

March ’em in and beg for mercy.  Spill the beans.  Make nice with the government, yeah that’s the way to represent them.  But as much as Biglaw can’t defend its way out of a paper bag, they sure do know how to charge.  Take a lesson, you PDs.  This is how the really big bucks are made.  So what if they’re all wearing prison stripes instead of pinstripes these days.  Biglaw got paid.  And isn’t that what white collar criminal defense is really all about?

For all the uninitiated reading this, every real criminal defense lawyer that has looked at the list is shaking their head in amazement.  Each is saying to themselves, “I could have given them 10 times the defense for a tenth of the fee.   Shit.”  Sanjay, call me.  No hard feelings.