Over time, every criminal defense lawyer will find himself facing the crazy client.* This is not the demanding client, or even the pain-in-the-butt client, but the crazy client. The crazy client comes in two flavors, “tutti frutti” and “Everything but the” (Ben & Jerry’s, for those who aren’t aficionados).
The “tutti frutti” (T&F) client is nuts from the word go. They may present as paranoid or delusional, whether it be grandiosity or conspiracy. But within minutes of speaking with them, it becomes clear that their entire world is off-kilter. They start with stories about how they have been subjected to abuse and targeted for inexplicable hatred from the President down to the clerk at DMV. Sometimes they will tell you, with the most earnest look in their eyes, how the gamma rays have affected them. Other times, they will assure you that they know secrets and expect Mike Wallace to knock on their door that night to reveal their secrets to the world.
T&F clients are so sincere when the talk to you that you begin to wonder if it’s possible that they really do have secret enemies who stalk them day and night. We tend to be unduly empathetic in this business, and hate to jump to the conclusion that somebody is severely twisted. But the survival instinct kicks in, and you are forced to admit that the client is nutsy-fagan.
On the other side is the “Everything But The” (EBT) client. This is the one who presents like a regular client; not exactly sane but hardly T&F. Hidden beneath that ordinary exterior, however, is a crazy person just waiting to burst out. They begin with opening phrases like, “I don’t mean to sound nuts, but…” And then they sound totally bonkers. Ultimately, they turn into the same client, calling constantly, telling you the stories (the same stories) that have no bearing on anything resembling reality and embellishing how the world is against them.
The trick is to figure out the EBT client up front, before you take them on like you would any other client and find yourself both (1) sucked into their world of nutsiness, and (2) headed into the great big dark hole of legal representation based upon what they tell you is happening, only to find everyone else in the courtroom laughing at you because you are defending against phantoms that exist only in your EBT client’s mind.
Whether or not you want to represent the crazy client is up to you. If you’re a PD, you likely have little choice, unless the crazy client becomes the violent client, in which case other issues kick in. But if you’re private, it’s entirely your choice, and you need to seriously consider the drain on your time, your energy and your personal welfare is worth it. Sometimes they actually have the ability to retain private counsel (though often they will tell you they do, but somehow can never access their Nigerian lottery winnings when they need it), but more often they will promise the world and deliver nothing. That saves you the trouble.
On occasion, representing the crazy client can be fulfilling, mostly when you are able to get them to understand that they need psychiatric care and are able to watch them go from nutsy to normal (whatever that means) and then deal with the legal issues that arose during their crazy stage. Again, a personal choice of how much it means to you and whether you, at the particular point in time, are prepared to take on a client for such a non-legal purpose.
But whatever you do, understand that there are plenty of crazy clients out there, and they have a certain tendency to find themselves in legal trouble. There’s a reason for this, and it’s not your fault (as a lawyer) that the answer to their criminal issues may be far more psychological than legal. But you can’t make the choice if you won’t, or don’t, recognize the problem.
* The use of medical terminology in this post is a product of my long study of, and respect for, psychiatric and psychological conditions. Don’t use these words at home!
The “tutti frutti” (T&F) client is nuts from the word go. They may present as paranoid or delusional, whether it be grandiosity or conspiracy. But within minutes of speaking with them, it becomes clear that their entire world is off-kilter. They start with stories about how they have been subjected to abuse and targeted for inexplicable hatred from the President down to the clerk at DMV. Sometimes they will tell you, with the most earnest look in their eyes, how the gamma rays have affected them. Other times, they will assure you that they know secrets and expect Mike Wallace to knock on their door that night to reveal their secrets to the world.
T&F clients are so sincere when the talk to you that you begin to wonder if it’s possible that they really do have secret enemies who stalk them day and night. We tend to be unduly empathetic in this business, and hate to jump to the conclusion that somebody is severely twisted. But the survival instinct kicks in, and you are forced to admit that the client is nutsy-fagan.
On the other side is the “Everything But The” (EBT) client. This is the one who presents like a regular client; not exactly sane but hardly T&F. Hidden beneath that ordinary exterior, however, is a crazy person just waiting to burst out. They begin with opening phrases like, “I don’t mean to sound nuts, but…” And then they sound totally bonkers. Ultimately, they turn into the same client, calling constantly, telling you the stories (the same stories) that have no bearing on anything resembling reality and embellishing how the world is against them.
The trick is to figure out the EBT client up front, before you take them on like you would any other client and find yourself both (1) sucked into their world of nutsiness, and (2) headed into the great big dark hole of legal representation based upon what they tell you is happening, only to find everyone else in the courtroom laughing at you because you are defending against phantoms that exist only in your EBT client’s mind.
Whether or not you want to represent the crazy client is up to you. If you’re a PD, you likely have little choice, unless the crazy client becomes the violent client, in which case other issues kick in. But if you’re private, it’s entirely your choice, and you need to seriously consider the drain on your time, your energy and your personal welfare is worth it. Sometimes they actually have the ability to retain private counsel (though often they will tell you they do, but somehow can never access their Nigerian lottery winnings when they need it), but more often they will promise the world and deliver nothing. That saves you the trouble.
On occasion, representing the crazy client can be fulfilling, mostly when you are able to get them to understand that they need psychiatric care and are able to watch them go from nutsy to normal (whatever that means) and then deal with the legal issues that arose during their crazy stage. Again, a personal choice of how much it means to you and whether you, at the particular point in time, are prepared to take on a client for such a non-legal purpose.
But whatever you do, understand that there are plenty of crazy clients out there, and they have a certain tendency to find themselves in legal trouble. There’s a reason for this, and it’s not your fault (as a lawyer) that the answer to their criminal issues may be far more psychological than legal. But you can’t make the choice if you won’t, or don’t, recognize the problem.
* The use of medical terminology in this post is a product of my long study of, and respect for, psychiatric and psychological conditions. Don’t use these words at home!
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