So we’ve let the professors know that they’re boring.  Problem solved?  Not by a long shot.

Students are operating under the very mistaken impression that law school owes them a fascinating time and more.  Wrongo.  They are owed a legal education.  This isn’t a Broadway show, designed for the entertainment of the student consumers.  This is professional school.  There are things to be learned which are boring.  So what?  Grow up and learn what you need to know to be a lawyer.  And please, stop whining.

Did you think this was going to be all touchy feely?  There comes a time when we do what we have to do.  If you want to be a lawyer, then hunker down and do your work.  Put up with some boredom.  Stop assuming (and yes, it is an assumption and a wrong one at that) that you already know everything and that law school is just a waste of time for someone as brilliant as you.

Here’s a little secret from the world of lawyers:  We don’t think kids coming out of law school these days are very good.  They are lazy.  They are whiny.  They expect everything to be handed to them and get all hot and bothered because people don’t treat them nicely. 

Treatment of youth has been changing for a long time, with my generation (the baby boomers) doing a generally poor job of raising children with the right attitude and capability to survive in the grown up world.  We coddled them.  We gave them what our parents couldn’t afford to give us.  Hell, we gave them everything.  This was a big mistake. 

Our kids never learned that the world doesn’t owe them things.  They became jaded because they have everything.  We told them how wonderful they are and they believed us.  We were just trying to bolster their self-esteem (like the experts told us we should),  and now they all walk around like King Tut, thinking their wish is our command.  And to please them and bring that beautiful smile to their cherubic faces, we gave them more still.  So, baby boomers screwed up our children.  Tough luck.  Get past it.

So it should come as no surprise that the very notion of their being responsible for sitting on their little tushies and working hard to learn the law, even when it doesn’t fascinate and charm them, would be foreign.  The little darlings don’t suffer unpleasantness.  At least not happily.  They demand better, because they think they can.  From what I see, they can demand better, because the profs continue to give in to their demands.

To make matters worse, the sweet young inchoate lawyers are hypersensitive.  I agree that far more is accomplished with positive reinforcement than negative, and that no purpose is served by belittling students who don’t perform as well as they should.  But this doesn’t mean that they can take a punch, and every once in a while they are going to get one right in the jaw.  Are they going to cry in court?

They don’t take no for an answer.  They feel empowered to disagree with anyone who says that they need some improvement.  They argue the point.  They ultimately assert, “Well, that’s your opinion,” like a 3 year old.   They are both bold and simultaneously of the view that their opinion is equal to everyone else’s.  No, a law student’s opinion is not the equal of a professors’.  Or a lawyers’.  That’s why we call you “students”

Lawprofs want to treat students like adults.  I would too.  Unfortunately, law students don’t seem to act like adults.  This stunted adolescent behavior, mistaken belief in their perfection and demand to be entertained has skewed their understanding of how they fit into the world.  There’s a pecking order for a reason.  Students have yet to learn what lawyers and professors have.  Like what?  Go to class, practice law for a few years, try a few cases, and then we’ll talk. 

When they go in front of a jury with their brilliant arguments, do they intend to yell at the jury for not showing them the love by their verdict?  When the judge denies their objection, will they respond that they’re going to tell their daddy?  Where are they supposed to learn their role in the law?  If they aren’t learning it in law school, then they won’t know it when they get that $190k job at Biglaw.  Oh yeah, and that job won’t make them think their entitled to be king of the world.  Not much.

So, dear students, it’s your responsibility to learn how to become lawyers.  Every day in law school is not going to be another day in paradise.  Your professor isn’t the third string substitute for Stephen Colbert or Sarah Silverman.  They are professors.  They are scholars.  They may not be the most fascinating people in the world, but they know a whole lot more than you do.  If you don’t want to learn what they have to teach, what they hell are you doing wasting a seat?

Sure, to be effective professors should be capable of engaging you.  But you, dear students, must be capable of being engaged.  By the law, not by a decent floor show.  The law is not always interesting.  Indeed, it’s often quite mundane.  But you need to learn the basics anyway, particularly how to think and analyze like a lawyer.  And that can be a particularly unpleasant activity because you’re not going to do it right for a long time.  No matter how wonderful mommy says you are.

And it gets even worse.  Clients, judges and your boss may not treat you the way you think they should.  Sometimes, they may tell you that you didn’t do very well.  They may even tell you that you’re wrong.  Even that you stunk.  It happens.  It will hurt your delicate feelings. And you can’t cry or lash out about it.  Nobody cares.  Being a grown up takes work, and sometimes a thick skin.  Sometimes you have to shrug it off.  Sometime you have to listen and learn, because you really did stink.

If you want to be a lawyer, don’t take “Law and Popular Movies” in law school.  It won’t come in handy.  This is particularly true if you don’t end up getting one of those $190k jobs, and instead find yourself unable to make the BMW lease payments.  Talk about a rude awakening.  Don’t blame your law school.  Don’t blame your law professors.  Being a professional means making your own way through your profession.  There is no guaranteed pot of gold at the end of law school.  It’s entirely up to you.

And even though you don’t need to work so you can eat tonight, you might want to try getting a job with a real lawyer.  Maybe, just maybe, it will give you a clue what you’re getting into.  It may even teach you what real lawyers do everyday.  Trust me, it’s not going to be as fascinating as listening to law professors drone. 

Enjoy law school.  It’s the last time in your life that you will be able to sit back and pretend that you are working very hard when you’re really shouldering the least amount of responsibility that one can while pretending one is a true grown up.  The day law school is over, you will find all the harsh expectations of the real world without the glamor of your unlimited potential that mommy told you about as she tied your shoe and wiped your nose. 

So stop your bellyaching and go to class.  Listen, even to the boring profs because they still have plenty to teach you.  And appreciate that you don’t know everything.  It’s not much of a price to pay to become a lawyer.