Today was 8 hours of doing the summations in two cases over and over.  And over.  They don’t pay jurors enough.

My stint on the Intensive Trial Advocacy Program (ITAP) faculty started today, teaching law students at Cardozo.   There are a bunch of heavy hitting lawyers and judges from around the country who show up for a two week intensive trial advocacy program.  Plus me.  And apparently the guy who was teaching with me today, who (despite his bravado) has never actually tried a case based upon his “advice” that would have been great if there was no such thing as rules of evidence.  As someone today explained to me, there’s a different between moron and liar, but it doesn’t preclude someone from being both.

This year’s experience has been terrific so far.  The students are brilliant.  The worst kid in the room gave a good summation, and improved markedly by the end of the day.  The best was spectacular in the morning, and nothing short of brilliant by the end of the day.  It was exhilarating to watch.

Last year’s experience was not quite as pleasant.  The students weren’t serious.  They goofed off, didn’t know their stuff and would not take it seriously.  When pushed, they whined.  Why I wasted my day was beyond me.

There is a secondary aspect to this program because of all the lawyers who gather as faculty.  You get to see friends that you haven’t seen in a long time, and meet new lawyers who you have heard of but never had the chance to meet.  Some are civil litigators of some renown.  We even had a Texas federal judge wearing cowboy boots. 

When you put all those lawyers into the same room for coffee or lunch, a funny thing happens.  One person called it the “big dick” syndrome, with each male lawyer swinging his to show whose is the biggest.  Oddly, the women lawyers just sit back and laugh, feeling no compulsion to show how important they are.  The men, well, let’s just say that there’s no one in the room who could legitimately take an oath.  If you believe the stories, every lawyer in the place has better cases, bigger clients, higher fees and knows everybody who’s anybody everywhere. 

Me?  I guess they just keep me around for comic relief and to have somebody who will spent time teaching the kids.

One of the funniest aspect is that the faculty are instructed not to tell war stories.  Imagine all the testosterone lawyers with an audience full of young eager students who can’t tell them to shut up or walk out.  The war stories would never end.  And the students would never get to do anything.

One of the lawyers I was working with today kept saying, “I know we’re not supposed to tell war stories, but . . . ”  It was a nightmare.  First, his stories sucks.  Second, he spoke very slowly.  He was, as Seinfeld would say, a slow talker.  And being collegial, as faculty are supposed to be, I tried not to be rude and remind him that the time lost to his stories was gone to me forever.

For any  lawprofs who read this (and I know you do), this is a terrific program.  It’s run by Barry Scheck and Ellen Yaroshefsky at Carodozo, both terrific people.  I’m sure most of you know Barry from the Innocence Project.  The students come out of the program, if they take it seriously, with at least a working knowledge of what happens in a trial and the basic skills to perform each function.  It’s a huge leg up on being a trial lawyer.

We’re back tomorrow for advanced cross, one of my personal favorites.  I hope I get some killers kids again tomorrow, because I couldn’t be prouder of the kids I worked with today.  They will all make great trial lawyers someday, and the one student who was the best of my bunch today, will be scary.  He was that good.  I just hope he doesn’t go to work for the government.  What a waste that would be.