When I was a youth, the thought of emitting flatulence in school was terribly embarrassing.

One little fart in the middle of math class and they call you stinky forever.

Not so anymore, apparently.  The young ladies and gentlemen of Camden-Rockport Middle School (more particularly, the mature ones in 8th grade) find humor in odor.    Eugene Volokh, ever vigilant for tales of flatus (and we owe him a deep debt, since few others are willing to do the job), brings us this story from the  Village Soup / the Knox County Times (by way of Glenn Reynolds at  InstaPundit, the world-wide clearing house of flatus-related news).

The school has determined that the game of “intentional farting” must come to an end, and that anyone caught doing so will be punished by detention.  Eugene, ever the lawprof, comments:

True, I’d hate to try to prove beyond a reasonable doubt in a criminal case that a fart was intentional. But school discipline isn’t a criminal case, there’s no need to prove the intent beyond a reasonable doubt, and often the students’ statements, giggles, and other behavior will give a perfectly adequate clue to the clueful teacher. Perhaps experience will show the school that for some reason this policy won’t work, but it certainly seems to me to be worth trying.

I should say so!  If this disgusting lack of self-control and decorum isn’t nipped in the bud, it could become a phenomenon, a plague. A new MTV television series. Can you imagine the faces of Biglaw partners walking down the hallway, their faces contorted as they pass through an odorous yet invisible cloud, hearing the giggles of first year associates in the background?

Seriously, there’s a reason why we don’t let 8th graders do stand-up comedy.  I would think a nice note to their parents, and the appropriate reaction, would do the trick.  As for the poor teachers left to do the investigating, I see a new provision in the union contract coming soon.  This could really suck the glamour out of being a teacher.