You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

Is it just me, or does more weird stuff come out of Texas than anywhere else?

Out of beautiful Amarillo comes a decision by the “HONORABLE W.F. “CORKY” ROBERTS, JUDGE.”  Now before we go anywhere near the decision, I’ve got to deal with this name.  I’ve never heard of a judge signing an opinion using a nickname.  Whether everybody knows the judge by the nickname or not, a judicial decision is a kinda formal thing.  You use the real name, leave the nicknames home.  Who reviews this decision, the Honorable”Stinky” Jones?  Come on.  You Texas guys are killing me.

And now we turn to the case itself, Little v. Texas.  It’s your typical teenage girl gets a date with boy from religious cult family whose parents convince her that she must leave her home and family because her Teddy Bear is possessed by demons.  Yup, another demonic teddy case.

Abigail [our misguided teenager] began telling Matilde [her mother] that their house was filled with sin. Walter [surrogate daddy, father of boyfriend and regular confidante of supreme deity] had instructed Abigail to be spiritually prepared for all the demons living in their house because Matilde and Carlos were living out of wedlock. Abigail told Matilde she didn’t belong in her home any longer because she had to fight demons every day and she belonged with her daddy, Walter. Abigail cried daily and spent a lot of time in her closet during the daytime. At times, Matilde found Abigail in her closet with her Bible where she twice slept overnight. Abigail also believed certain objects including her teddy bears were possessed by demons. The only place Abigail could find comfort was in her closet with her Bible. She told Matilde that her home was Walter’s home, and she wanted to live there.

Just another typical day in Amarillo.  The Littles were convicted of the offense of enticing a child if, with the intent to interfere with the lawful custody of a child younger than eighteen years.  Apparently, this happens enough in Texas that they need to have a specific law against it. 

The legal discussion of the decision is relatively pedestrian, disposing of your basic, ordinary defenses to convincing some teen that her real parents are instruments of the devil and that she should voluntarily adopt the defendants as her new mommy and daddy.  You know, the usual stuff.

But it is truly disappointing that nowhere does “Corky” make a finding that the teddy bear was or was not possessed by demons.  Does this not leave you with the fear that young Abigail will be thrust back into the bosom of her family and placed at risk of demonic possession? 

H/T Volokh

5 thoughts on “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

  1. mason

    hey fuck u, u fucking pussy bitch. Ur probably on this godamn page talkin shit on other people just to feel better about urself. Corky Roberts happens to be my grandad. how about u come DOWN to texas and get ur fucking teeth kicked in u fucking kike. grow a sack and go fuck urself pussy,
    Mason Pierce.
    Fuck u and UR family

  2. Jdog

    Well, I had a few others; occurs to me that there must have been another escape from the Jerry Springer trailer park, for one.

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