Warning: This isn’t a law-related post, so if you’re only in the market for something law-related, read something else.
One of the rules around my house is that my kids must recognize their responsibility toward others through community service. We do it because we must, an obligation of being a member of society. There’s no glory attached, and we try to do things anonymously to assure that they learn pure motives. But this has irked me for a while, and now that a year has gone by, it’s time to let it out.
My son, in anticipation of his bar mitzvah, had to come up with a significant project to demonstrate his membership in the larger society of adults. He decided to start a food and clothing drive for a local national guard unit, stationed in Iraq, to provide them with the things that would make their time more overseas more livable. While we were never in favor of the war, we still support the men and women who serve.
The drive was done in the name of his school (so as to minimize any personal aggrandizement), and was enormously successful. We had dozens of large boxes of candy, writing paper and utensils, socks, all the things that our local VFW told us they need and want. On top of that, the students wrote cards to the soldiers to let them know how they were appreciated. Inside each box was a note letting them know that this was from the school.
Everything was shipped off to Iraq to the attention of the commander of the unit, who, we were told, would distribute it amongst his troops. This happened one year ago. Enough time has passed.
To this day, no one knows if they boxes ever got there. There was no response, no reaction, no nothing. The children and families from school asked in the months following the drive about it, and my son told them that he didn’t know if these soldiers were happy to receive the boxes, enjoyed the contents, appreciated the thought. He couldn’t tell them because he never heard a word.
We spoke with the local VFW commander to find out if he heard anything. He told us that he hadn’t heard a word either. He told us that he didn’t know if the boxes every made it to the intended recipients or fell off the face of the earth.
It’s not that we anticipated a letter back from Iraq thanking the students for thinking of them, for gathering things to make their life more pleasant, to show appreciation. After all, this was about the students showing their appreciate for the troops, not the other way around.
But would it have been too much trouble to let a bunch of school kids know that the boxes arrived and that their efforts weren’t wasted?
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Great idea to get your son involved in giving back. Sounds like the gift got lost in the bureaucracy. I’m picturing a scene from the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
One of my favorite characters is the one Deniro plays in “Brazil.” In the film, which takes place in the future, things have become so bureaucratized that he intercepts phone messages and fixes people’s problems much faster than the government, which makes him Public Enemy #1.
With this in mind, I try to give as directly as possible, which is pretty hard to do when the recipients are halfway across the world. Hopefully your son learned two lessons: that people are willing to give if you ask and that government often gets in the way of distributing this goodwill.
Thanks for the story though. I’m going to get my kids involved in something like this as they’re spending a little too much time on the Tivo lately.
(Note: Did you see I have a new blawgsite? I’m going to try to write half as much as you do, which is still a lot!)
Don’t forget to do your part for Jewish charities.
I’ve [edit out]. is a 501(c)(3) charity spurred on by my daughter’s upcoming Bat Mitzvah. Our target audiences are the parents throwing a Bar/Bat Mitzvah party and the vendors who provide services for these parties. You can find out more about us at [edit out]? Having a Mitzvah, give a Mitzvah.
[Edit Note: This comment reflects conduct that is wholly unacceptable and improper. I urge everyone to avoid this individual’s “charity”].
Oddly, we sent this directly, through the USPS to the commanding officer personally. Still, nothing.
As for your new site, not only did I see but I’ve updated my blogroll to your new url. Congrats.
“To this day, no one knows…no reaction, no response, no nothing.” What useful things can your son learn from this?
Fortunately, the lesson he did NOT learn was not to do the right thing regardless. He hopes it made it there and he hopes they enjoyed it. And he will continue to try to help others and serve his community regardless.
But in our house, we also write thank you notes whenever appropriate. It’s just the way we live.
Do the right thing regardless.
Exactly
I’ve edited out the name and url to your website because you don’t get to post a solicitation for yourself on my blawg. I would simply delete your comment, but leave it to remind others that this blawg is not a place for others to promote themselves, their businesses, their causes, at will. Do not use comments on this blog to solicit.