After intense negotiations lasting until the early morning hours, according to this  New York Times report, Senate Majority Leader Bruno, Assembly Majority Leader Silver and Governor Paterson emerged with their arms intertwined singing the Joni Mitchell song “Twisted” in a three part harmony, much to the shock of the waiting media throng.

“We’ve done the impossible,” Paterson announced, with a beaming Shelly Silver at his right hand side, wearing a powder blue suit.  “We have hammered out an agreement on a deal to increase the salary of New York’s judiciary that will not cost the taxpayers of New York one dime.”

Senator Joseph Bruno broke in that it was about time the Albany logjam was broken, and the third branch of government was shown the respect it deserved. 

This is a momentous occasion, not just because we’ve fixed the long-festering blight on the State, but because we’ve come up with a solution that will save New York’s judges from ever suffering like this again.

The deal includes an immediate payment of 52.5% to all judges who have served for more than five years to compensate for their having suffered so long without an increase and to help them over the “hump” caused by the increase in the cost of living over that period.  In addition, the base pay will increase by 67% to $232,950, with an annual automatic cost-of-living increase and an opportunity to purchase bespoke black robes at deep discount.

Governor Paterson stated that “it was only right,” and both Bruno and Silver added in unison “uh huh!”  They noted that the recent flight of 259 elected Supreme Court judges from the bench, leaving a backlog of nearly 27,000 cases across the state in less than one month, really caused them to focus on the problem.  “It was like an epiphany,” Bruno said.  “I felt just awful about the tsuris I caused,” Silver added. 

Paterson added that the near-death experience at the highly-publicized kiln explosion in the Governor’s Mansion made him appreciate the urgency of the situation. 

There was nothing that I needed to do as Governor more than straighten out this mess, Realizing that I could go at any minute made me understand that we needed to put the entire weight of the State behind increasing judicial salaries.  The future of New York depended on it.

Chief Judge Judith Kaye, when informed of the plan, exhorted, “Nice that those guys finally came to their senses.  I was just about to write another scathing editorial about the independence of the judiciary, and they would not have been happy, let me tell you!” 

Also announced, the Legislature has terminated all funding for indigent defense in order to fund the salary increase for the judiciary.  Governor Paterson explained, “And what are they gonna do about it?”