The other day, I did a post about “never events,” things that should never happen. There some great additions in the comments, though I was disappointed that some prominent members of the practical blawgosphere, Bennett, Gideon, Spencer, Grits, Pattis, Katz, Tarrell, Skelly were not heard from. Matlock seems to have gone the way of Malum. While this isn’t the stuff of the business bloggers like Kevin, Carolyn, Dan or Susan, they would have been welcome. And then there’s the lawprofs, and it may be a little too low brow for guys like Solove and Hoffman, Kerr and Volokh, Randazza and Chen, but I bet that there are some things that they could contribute as well.
But since we do this for love, I’m giving it a go in the opposite direction. Things that should always happen. Always events.
All prosecutors should have to spend a week in prison.
All judges should have to earn a living with real clients.
All criminal defense lawyers should have to meet with the victims of the crime.
All lawyers should have to do pro bono for the poor.
All cops should be required to snitch on dirty cops or get the same sentence.
All people who believe that convicting innocent people is an acceptable necessity of an imperfect system should nominate one member of their family to go to prison “just to be safe.”
All doctors should have to hear the sound of a latex glove being snapped on behind their back.
All public officials should be required to pass an 8th grade civics examination before taking office.
Again, I invite everyone’s contributions, and hope to hear from those of you who (like me) seem to have something to say about almost everything.
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All public officials should have a day job in the private sector.
Criminal defenders must always keep in mind the reason they got into this job in the first place.
People who cut down criminal defenders should one day face charges and have to realize that the rights of the best people are only secure so long as those of the most wretched are protected.
People who insist in the presumption of guilt should be accused of something and thus realize the immense power of government and the reason the presumption of innocence was adopted.
Blawgers who fail to respond to one of Greenfield’s “never” posts should hear the sound of a latex glove being snapped on behind their back…
When an person is found innocent the prosecutors/state should be required to share the cost of reimbursing that person for their defense and wages lost during confinement.
Anyone ever listed on Greenfield’s blog roll should always post a comment to at least one of his stories unless he is willing to hear the sound of a latex glove behind his back.
Sorry I’ve been gone. I was sick.
That’s a great one. Thanks PR.
Sorry to hear you were sick. Glad you really didn’t go the way of Malum. Now get back to work!
All criminal defendants should give their attorney the benefit of the doubt, and refrain from telling him or her what points of law to argue, for example: “On appeal, you need to argue double jeopardy; the court sentenced me to 3 years determinate and 3 years post release. That’s double jeopardy…you need to argue double jeopardy.”
All people who abuse animals should be subject to harsher penalties.
All “rats” should be required to share the cost of reimbursing defendants’ damages too. Self-designated eyewitnesses, accomplices and their corroborating witnesses, jailhouse and confidential informants, and varieties of rats I have not thought of. They barter with prosecutors to convict defendants, for a price, and the medium of exchange is their freedom — leniency in sentencing for their convictions. This is a market for deals with the devil, producing wrong convictions, because the stakes are so high. And so, rats lie. Make them pay, too.
OK, I’m done spouting.
Oh. I’m not done. Every appellate defender should represent one indicted defendant a year through plea or trial, and every trial defender should represent one convicted defendant a year on appeal.
you keep going as long as you want.
Too low brow for ME? Hah!
I concur with Packrat. The state should always reimburse a defendant for costs of defense and lost wages if the defendant is found “innocent” (which would be different than “not guilty”).
And, another non-original idea:
All legislators who vote in favor of going to war must send a member of their family to fight. See http://www.equalservice.org
All products described as “travel mugs” should fit perfectly into car cupholders.
All law students should benefit from at least one clinical experience during their education.
All battery-powered toys should come with batteries.
All organizations promulgating standards should formulate them using something other than a roomful of overpaid figureheads, a crack team of consultants, and a Ouija board.
Maybe not original, but a great inclusion.
And complainants who lie should also participate.
All corporate executives (and their lawyers and hired experts) defending against a products liability claim should use the product in question (or have a family member use it) under similar circumstances as the plaintiff.
That’s great. Thanks!
Hey, I chimed in!
You sure did.