Ambulance Chasing, Criminal Law Edition

Houston criminal defense lawyer Mark Bennett has given new meaning to the old phrase, the meter’s running.


There’s a criminal attorney in Houston (I’ll call him “Ollie”) who is a really busy guy. Ollie reportedly has a cab driver who waits outside the jail in the wee hours of the morning when people are released on bond and refers them to Ollie for representation. Ollie charges a nominal fee ($500 or so to start); he will even fill out the clients’ retainer checks for them.

This is a new one on me.  I’ve heard of plenty of schemes to get clients, but having a cab sitting out front to whisk potential clients to your office is good one.  I’m not sure if it would work in Manhattan.  There are just too many cabs floating around to make it productive.  But now that Mark’s put it on the radar, I wouldn’t be surprised if we get our own Ollie by the end of the week.

There are any number of fine, upstanding lawyers in the Big Apple who will do anything short of pro bono to get their hands on the quick case (with its inherent quick plea).  But one story comes foremost to mind.

A former prosecutor in the Bronx walked up to me outside 100 Centre Street one day to say hello and inform me that he was now available for referrals.  I had a rather large conspiracy case with him when he was a tough guy on the Grand Concourse, under the tutelage of Eddy Friedenthal and Nester “the Molester” Ferraro, the head of narcotics for the Bronx.  (D.A., not the other side).  As a prosecutor, this kid was one obnoxious little jerk.  Not effective, mind you, but smarmy and smug, one of those grinning untrustworthy fools whose voice was squeak and crack as he tried to come up with some reason why it was okay for him to break the law when it wasn’t for my clients.

Standing there, stunned by the fact that this dweeb whom I found repulsive was now trying to stick his entire head up my butt to make a dime, he asked me if he could pray upon my experience and ask a question.  “What?”  “Is it a good idea to pay the hotdog guy in front of the courthouse $100 for every case sends me?”

I nearly fell on the sidewalk.  This little, prematurely bald, pompous weenie was absolutely serious.  It took me a few minutes to stop laughing and catch my breath.

“Is that how you thought criminal defense lawyers found their clients?”

“Uh.  Well…Yeah.  I guess.”

“Well, you can always do that, but you’re only gonna get the crap cases since I know another guy who’s giving him $250 per case.”  I feel terrible about admitting that I told him this, but it was just too funny to pass up.

There are some rather insidious schemes around to “get” clients.  There are the “MCC vultures” who troll the attorney visiting area at the federal lock-up to find prisoners feeling neglected with offers to get them out within the week.  There is even one lawyer, quite well known around the New York courthouses, who tells post-sentence narcotics prisoners that for a half million dollars, he can “arrange” for their freedom.  How this fellow manages to stay alive is beyond me.

Let’s face facts.  Lawyers need clients.  Clients don’t have a clue who is good and who is lying to them through their teeth.  At the very best, the client knows results, which often have little to do with the quality of lawyering they receive.  Get a good result on a garbage case and you’re a genius.  Get a great result on a very difficult case and the client is disappointed because he didn’t get an apology from the cops.  That’s the nature of the work.

But it’s rife with opportunity for the unscrupulous and dishonest.  I’ve often told myself that I could be rich if only I wasn’t so darn honest.  When I see a great case go to a lawyer who I know to be a buffoon, it breaks my heart.  But that too is the nature of the business.  Now, I’m going to wonder whether the client had to pay his own cab fare?


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9 thoughts on “Ambulance Chasing, Criminal Law Edition

  1. Joe

    There are a few different ways to look at this amusing and depressing story. First off, prosecutors have the state behind them and those individuals charged with a crime have very little to protect them against experienced attorneys with better resources, so on that front there’s nothing wrong with a lawyer being there to help ASAP. Secondly, with the dearth of criminal attorneys, some unfortunate souls are a bit too desperate to get clients, but it’s not as if they’re breaking the law to do so. Lastly, this is an issue to be addressed by the bars of each state, however there is obviously a divide between independent attorneys, corporate attorneys, defense and prosecution, etc.

  2. Oscar Michelen

    This is nothing new,but always incredible to hear. My firm has an office in Nassau County and what goe son there is evn worse. First off, in this county adn only inthis county, the defendants address is on the face of the complaint. That has led to a dozen lawyers buying the criminal calendar from the clerk’s office, asking for certain files to be pulled and the directly writing the clients with information about their firm. Most of these yahoos are hacks who couldn’t try their way out of a paper bag. Yet this practice has seriously impacted practitioners who don’t enageg in this direct mail solicitation. The grievance committee has even issued an opinion that if the letter merely provides info and not direct solicitation that it is permissible. But even worse, there is a lawyer in the County who spends every day -every day- in the pens directly soliciting clients. He charges $250 for the arraignment then $250 per appearance. This guy is shabbily dressed, wearing the same suit day in and day out and coping people out right away without any effort. The problem is that any lawyer can get access to the detention cells even if you have not filed a notice. I have even complained to the administrative judge about it, but it has gone nowhere. So I share in your frustration and you can imagine mine, when I walk into the part(s) and this incompotent has 7-8 matters on!

  3. WL

    Isn’t paying the cabbie, hotdog guy, or whoever a violation of the ethics rules about non-lawyer referrals? I mean, if lawyers get in trouble for paying referral fees to accountants and real estate brokers where there is some kind of existing client relationship, how can it be ethical to pay a cabbie? Even if a lawyer isn’t paying referral fees, doesn’t the cabbie trick or hanging inside the jail amount to some kind of champerty? Do people still get prosecuted criminally or before the bar for that?

  4. David

    A few months ago I wrote a post about a lawyer who advertised for flat-fee fels and misds on Craigslist. His name also began with “David Tar***” so our mail often got mixed up in, you know, a small town like Omaha. (a tumbleweed just blew by)

    But the other day I went to pick up some discovery and saw his name, not on the slip you fill out, but on an indictment, for felony theft by fraud.

    I don’t think he’ll look for his “law talking guy” (Lionel Hutz’ word for lawyers) on Craigslist, however, although that would be real justice!

  5. Matlock

    Seriously, why aren’t you and Bennett referred to as “incestuous”? Why is it only me that politely refers to others’ stories and then gets called bad names? It hurts.

    You cut me deep Pattis.

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