Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water and practice criminal defense, the government (that would be our government) has decided that it’s not go to take the decision of Southern District of Florida Judge Marcia Cooke lying down.  Oh no, they are here to save us.  According to the AP, the Department of Justice has filed notice of appeal of Judge Cooke’s decision to dismiss the top count of the money laundering indictment against Kuehne.

This can be viewed as a face-saving measure, given that the dismissal of the conspiracy count against Ben Kuehne, probably the most squeaky-clean lawyer in all of Florida, makes the United States Attorney look like the bullying blithering idiot that he is.  And government officials hate to be revealed for what they are.  It makes them so very unattractive.

This can also be viewed as real attempt to obtain a reversal, given that federal appeals courts are not generally considered a defendant’s best friend and bulwark against overpowering government fiat.  Yes, it’s true.  Our constitutional stopgap is often more gap than stop.

But this may well be a lesson to the criminal defense bar, the ones who represent particularly notorious criminals and thus stand in the way of our heroes in government from doing their duty to the public of cleaning the streets in whatever war is on the government’s agenda today.  Represent these scum and we will indict you.  Beat the indictment and we will appeal.

So what’s the big deal with an appeal?  Well, aside from being under the taint of criminal charges for the past year, and now for another year to come (at least), the cost of fighting these spurious charges is financially ruinous.  It’s that way for every defendant, and Ben Kuehne is no exception.  I assume that this has destroyed his ability to practice, and I assume that his defense isn’t a gift from adoring fans.  And before some jerk spouts that it’s the lawyers fault for charging, we don’t bring the charges (or the appeal), and we work for a living just like you.  So unless you plan to send my kids to college, keep it to yourself.

This is a war of attrition, and the government has the biggest arsenal available.  We may be in an economic crises.  We may not have enough money to feed the hungry and heal the sick.  But our government has plenty of cash to keep the street safe from the likes of Mr. Squeaky-Clean, Ben Kuehne. Does Kuehne have the wherewithal to keep up the right?  Certainly not as deep as our government’s pockets.  Whew.  We can unlock the windows again.

In some alternate universe, where money and life and livelihood is no factor, the appeal of Judge Cooke’s decision would be an interesting topic of discussion.  Perhaps the lawprofs can argue about it, and maybe there’s even a law review article in it.  But in the world of working lawyers, this is a smack in the face, and a damn hard one at that.  This will teach us to represent notorious defendants.  This will teach us not to cross the government.

And it’s all to protect us.  On our dime.  Maybe even to save our immortal soul?  Or maybe just to make the criminal defense bar go away.