At Trust Matters,  Charles Green  Mark Slatin has spelled out in detail what’s wrong with kids today, employing the kick ’em while they’re down theory of human resources, one of my personal favorites.

According to a recent NY Times article, the new kids on the block have a sense of entitlement…I have noticed the same phenomenon in the course I teach at Loyola University. A disgruntled student who received a grade commensurate with the final product shifted the blame to me, saying, “Well, I guess it is in the syllabus, so you technically can give me a lower grade.”

Michele Norris, a Tampa-based consultant, asserts, “If students have a sense of entitlement, it’s not entirely their fault. They are the product of “hovering” parents and an education system that is ‘results oriented’ to prove worthiness. Parents and coaches have rewarded them with trophies just for being on the team”.

“The world says, ‘You’re young, have fun!’ It tells us to ‘obey your thirst’ and ‘just do it.’ Or it tells us, ‘You’re great! You don’t need to exert yourself.’ But those kinds of mindsets sabotage character and competence,” says Harris.

[N]ew employees who want to roll into work with their iPods and flip flops around noon, but still become a CEO by… Friday,

[T]hese narcissistic praise hounds…

Oh man, that Charles is tough.  No rose-colored glasses can change his steely-eyed vision of a harsh and ugly future of narcissistic praise hounds, filled with entitlement and incapable of thinking beyond advertising slogans.  So what does he suggest?

In the finest Neville Chamberlain voice, he details the terms of unconditional surrender.  Not for the Slackoisie, but for the rest of us:

Coach vs. Boss
“It’s the boomers that need to hear the message, that they’re gonna have to start focusing more on coaching rather than bossing. In this generation in particular, you just tell them, ‘You got to do this. You got to do this.’ They truly will walk. And every major law firm, every major company knows, this is the future,” says Mary Crane, a millennial coach.

Other-Orientation
In order to be perceived as trustworthy, we must have a high “other” orientation. In the case of millenials, we need to speak their language. Be willing to lose the battles like wardrobe and time clocks, so long as they understand results matter.

Back Patting
They need more accolades. What does it cost to give it to them? Go ahead.

Give Trust to Get Trust
Lastly, to get trust, we must first give trust. Before we can expect them to understand and appreciate where we’re coming from, we must first take the time to make them feel understood.

Charles Green has chosen his path, and it is the path of least resistance.  Capitulation is so much easier than confronting the enemy and prevailing.  Let them pick and choose what matters, how they want to do it, and demand that you spend your every waking second devoted to overseeing their effort to do the absolute least amount necessary to pass, all the while patting them on the back, rubbing their tender bellies and whispering how wonderful they are and how much we truly appreciate them.  I know, let’s throw them a party!  After all, they showed up today, even if it was a little after twelve noon. 

There really is no good reason to demand that slavish concern for irrelevant details, like filing deadlines and crazy client calls asking why their work isn’t done yet.  Who cares if the client’s retch upon seeing the young people upon whom their existence depends looking like a cheap imitation of Amy Winehouse.  As long as we can prove to our demanding little entitlers that we trust them.  After all, they must feel “understood” or they won’t love us back.

Wake up.  They won’t love you back no matter how many ice cream parties you throw for them.  The world owes them, and that includes you.  By the time the last piece of ice cream cake (with those little crunchy things in the center) is scarfed up, they will be wondering when you’re going to install the PS3.  You can’t buy their loyalty, because they don’t comprehend loyalty.  The only question is what can you do for them next.

They want accolades?  Let them earn accolades.  They want trust?  That’s why they get a paycheck.  The fact that they can’t figure out why ripped jeans and flip flops makes clients “uncomfortable” isn’t a reason to excuse their mode of attire.  And if they were half as brilliant as their mommies told them, they wouldn’t need to demand constant attention and affirmation every time they went to the bathroom to make sure they wiped correctly.  Hooray, Jimmy.  You got it all!

Are we to blame for creating this monster?  Sure.  I’ll take the blame, though I will let you know that mine didn’t turn out this way.  But I can well see how the efforts to give them self-esteem, love, material pleasures and approval resulted in their warped view of life.  Now that we’ve established who caused the disease, let’s establish the cure.  Grow up.

Frankly, dear Slackoisie, we thought you would be sharp enough to realize that the Nike motto, “Just do it,” was just an advertising slogan.  The Barbie Minivan doesn’t really drive itself.  Didn’t you figure that out when we bought it for you?  When you were little boys and girls, we wanted you to have fun.  But now that you’ve finished your education and assumed ownership of the basement, we want you out.  You want another bag of Doritos?  Go buy it yourself, with your own money, from your own job.  Put the Wii controller down, and step away from the clicker.

Seriously.  You have a few lessons left to learn, even though you are absolutely certain you know it all.  Here’s one of my favs.  Have a child, and you’re going to find that they are even more demanding than you are.  They want to eat.  Every day.  Three times a day, at least.  And you have to feed them, even if you’re in the middle of the coolest Mortal Combat game ever.  Try arguing the point with a toddler.  Hah!

So when, Charles, do they get this message?  Even if our efforts in raising children properly were misguided all along, at what point do they take their place in society as adults, with the responsibilities that go along with the perks?  Do you really think that giving them all the benefits, appeasing their narcissistic appetite for accolades, is going to make them turn the corner of responsibility?  Or does this just suck the life out of it, with our Slackoisie demanding the next shiny object as soon as the glimmer has rubbed off the last?

For those who enjoy a fine three word platitude, try this one on for size:  Life is unfair.  Eventually, you will come to find that the world cannot survive if it has to revolve solely around you.  Imagine showing up at the Cheetos store, desperate for a fix, only to find that the Cheetos store employee only comes in when he feels like it, and today isn’t that day.  You are furious.  Outraged!  How dare the Cheetos store employee not be there when you need him to be there.  How can you possibly continue to play your PSP without a bag at the ready.  What about YOU!

See how a world of self-absorbed, demanding, entitled, narcissistic Slackoisie won’t work?  You will end up killing each other, and we will end up having to wipe up the goo afterward.  We’ve already wiped up your goo once, and are not inclined to do so again.

So it’s time to pick your role model.  Will you be Chamberlain?  Will you be Churchill?  We may have to endure the Battle of Britain before this problem is solved, but the future of the world depends on us.  Don’t fail our children again.