Despite my admonitions, many of my brethren continue to be charmed by the siren call of the marketers in the belief that blogging and twittering, if only done according to their magic Rules.  But in case you haven’t considered just how ridiculous all of this can really be, consider the mindset of this fellow, a marketing genius by his own assessment, courtesy of Boing Boing.



It’s all about business cards.  That’s right, you are only half a lawyer if you don’t have a business card that substitutes for origami when you have nothing else to play with.  It’s the key to success.  It’s the magic bullet. 

This is insanity.  As lawyers, we are reputed to have a modicum of intelligence, and at minimum cursory reasoning skills which would allow us to consider and recognize that we are being told crap.  This is utter, total crap.  The problem is that this crap reflects the mindset of the marketer, for whom ordinary details take on overwhelming significance, as if each is the critical key to wild success.  It’s the psychotic’s view of the world.  Is this your view?

I’ve had numerous business cards over the course of my career.  I tend to make sure my card is on good, heavy stock, so that it doesn’t look all tattered within minutes of handing it out.  Often, a client won’t need my card right away, so it needs to remain in readable condition for when it’s needed.  If it doesn’t, then it’s failed to serve its purpose

My business card contains the basic information needed to reach me, printed in clear, readable type.  When my clients need to call, they may be stressed, excited, even agitated.  If the number is big and easy to read, it makes it easier for my clients to see it and call it.  If not, then it’s failed to serve its purpose.

My business card has no colors.  My business card has no graphics.  My business card has no cute sayings or mottos.  It’s utilitarian.  It fulfills its purpose of providing my contact information.  It gets the job done.  That’s its purpose.

What my business card is not is cute, tricky, oddly sized or unduly complex.  My card is meant to be carried in a wallet, because I want it there when someone needs me.  My quality as an attorney is not dependent on my business card.  If it is, then all is lost and I am unworthy of the trust my clients place in me.  I do not strive to draw attention to myself via gimmicks, as if that was the measure of worth. 

I’ve seen some interesting business cards from other lawyers.  Some are so cheap looking and feeling as to be disturbing.  They crumble in your hand as you touch them, and don’t last long enough to make it to the garbage can.  Cheap is a negative reflection, telling me that the lawyer either can’t afford a card of decent quality or has a low-rent approach to his practice.  The card shouldn’t be a negative influence.

But is a card a positive, a paper rainmaker?  One lawyer whom I respect greatly gave ma a business card made of metal.  I was impressed, recognizing that it served one of the important features of a business card.  It was indestructible.  That’s important.  But it was expensive, and it was a bit flashing.  I thought about it, and showed it to a few people.  More people found it slightly unseemly, and one even thought it seemed a bit desperate.  I personally like it because of its indestructible quality.

I’ve known many lawyers with 4 color cards, with logos and mottos (even when deemed unethical).  I’ve known many lawyers whose cards have gold-embossed seals, making them look very official.  They don’t have any more business, or better business, than the quality of the services dictate.  The card did not bring them success.  The quality of their representation and client service brought them success.  Or not.

Back to our erstwhile business card guru.  Does he persuade you that by following his rant, you too can achieve great success?  Or does he strike you as a lunatic, utterly obsessed with his own gimmick and fundamentally disconnected from reality?  If the latter, why then do you think that marketers know some secret that you don’t know, and if only by following the rules you too can have clients coming out of your butt?  If such a magic bullet existed, we would all have it.  But then, they would neutralize each other and we would be right back where we started.  Do you really believe in magic?

For this marketer, the business card, a mere 3 1/2 inches of paper, is a substitute for his manhood.  Is it the same for you?

Obviously, not every marketer is as insane as this guy.  But then, a point is often best made by the extreme example.  The secret to a successful law practice isn’t your business card, or having a blog, or being on twitter and adhering to the 29 rules (or less).  All of these may be fine things to do, particularly if done well.  But contrary to the hype, they will never be a substitute for the quality of your representation.  There is no 3 1/2 inch magic bullet.