While off the beaten path of Simple Justice, I spend quite a lot of time around cars. As the proud owner of a 1964 Austin Healey BJ8 (That, for the uninitiated, is what us insiders call it. Others refer to it as the 3000, MK III, phase 2), I go to classic car shows throughout the sunny months, many of which are frequented by Americans. Cars, that is, not people. From Model Ts to T-buckets, I’ve spent innumerable hours with the objects of Detroit’s lust.
That General Motors, a very large rock in the foundation of American industry, would crack and collapse is shocking. We always expect rocks to just remain rocks. Even though we know they could collapse, we never expect it to happen while we are there, watching. As it stumbled into Chapter 11 bankruptcy, after a mere $30 billion infusion, GM showed its age.
I saw this coming about two decades ago in the eyes of my mother. My parents, who (much to my personal misfortune) never accumulated great wealth. Yet my mother always aspired to own an American icon of wealth and success, a Cadillac Fleetwood. Her other dream was to be a princess, but that was more difficult to achieve. As they were entering the retirement years, they set aside some money to obtain the things that had always been the apple of my mother’s eye, the thinking being why die without enjoying the fruit of their labor. And so, during on of my weekly telephone conversations, my mother informed me that she was, finally, going to the Cadillac dealer to purchase her sleek, black Cadillac.
“Mother (I always called her mother, at her insistence, as it made her feel more formal), we need to talk,” I responded. I explained that the Cadillac she was thinking of ceased being an status icon sometime in 1972, and that the only remaining purchasers were living in the same gated complex in West Palm Beach. It was still expensive, but would no longer sate her desire. She was 20 years too late on the Cadillac.
She finished the phone call with a brave voice, but looked around afterward. She saw. She was crestfallen, having spent so many years coveting a car that had long since fallen out of favor. She told me the following week that she changed her mind. She was going to buy a Lexus! That, she informed me, was what the “in” people around the gated community were driving these days. It was a very sad day for my mother, but even she realized that the Cadillac of her youth, or her younger years, even of her more mature years, was gone.
We now are told that the new GM will demonstrate a commitment to fuel economy, alternative fuel and the American worker. There is nothing wrong with this. But it will not sell many cars. Lust sells cars. When is the last time anyone lusted for a car made by General Motors? Think quick, can you even name a model that matters?
The New York Times revisits the many announcements by GM over the past years about it’s “turnaround”, the one that never happened. Their cars are priced below the Japanese competition, yet still fail to attract. The quality remains worse, though we’re told it’s better. While its profitability will benefit from the cost cutting, falling largely on the backs of former GM workers who got more, and less, than they bargained for, this bears no connection with the selling of cars.
What’s the plan, man?
That General Motors, a very large rock in the foundation of American industry, would crack and collapse is shocking. We always expect rocks to just remain rocks. Even though we know they could collapse, we never expect it to happen while we are there, watching. As it stumbled into Chapter 11 bankruptcy, after a mere $30 billion infusion, GM showed its age.
I saw this coming about two decades ago in the eyes of my mother. My parents, who (much to my personal misfortune) never accumulated great wealth. Yet my mother always aspired to own an American icon of wealth and success, a Cadillac Fleetwood. Her other dream was to be a princess, but that was more difficult to achieve. As they were entering the retirement years, they set aside some money to obtain the things that had always been the apple of my mother’s eye, the thinking being why die without enjoying the fruit of their labor. And so, during on of my weekly telephone conversations, my mother informed me that she was, finally, going to the Cadillac dealer to purchase her sleek, black Cadillac.
“Mother (I always called her mother, at her insistence, as it made her feel more formal), we need to talk,” I responded. I explained that the Cadillac she was thinking of ceased being an status icon sometime in 1972, and that the only remaining purchasers were living in the same gated complex in West Palm Beach. It was still expensive, but would no longer sate her desire. She was 20 years too late on the Cadillac.
She finished the phone call with a brave voice, but looked around afterward. She saw. She was crestfallen, having spent so many years coveting a car that had long since fallen out of favor. She told me the following week that she changed her mind. She was going to buy a Lexus! That, she informed me, was what the “in” people around the gated community were driving these days. It was a very sad day for my mother, but even she realized that the Cadillac of her youth, or her younger years, even of her more mature years, was gone.
We now are told that the new GM will demonstrate a commitment to fuel economy, alternative fuel and the American worker. There is nothing wrong with this. But it will not sell many cars. Lust sells cars. When is the last time anyone lusted for a car made by General Motors? Think quick, can you even name a model that matters?
The New York Times revisits the many announcements by GM over the past years about it’s “turnaround”, the one that never happened. Their cars are priced below the Japanese competition, yet still fail to attract. The quality remains worse, though we’re told it’s better. While its profitability will benefit from the cost cutting, falling largely on the backs of former GM workers who got more, and less, than they bargained for, this bears no connection with the selling of cars.
What’s the plan, man?
To judge from their latest rose-colored predictions, those executives still don’t quite get it. Most of their cars are not yet reliable nor appealing enough. That — not car buyers who are too slow to know a good thing when they see one — remains the biggest problem.
We’ve heard what economists, pundits, executives and politicians have to say about turning GM around. All by the numbers, making a very rational argument, well documented and empirically based. But we’re talking about cars here.
All these steps should help the company focus on building cars that enough people want to buy. But G.M. still hasn’t explained how, at long last, it will manage to do so. And optimism doesn’t qualify as a strategyI’ve seen cars made by General Motors that inspired lust. They are all more than 30 years old.
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Those who do not understand history are doomed to repeat BritishLeyland… just without the cool accent.
[Ed. Note: Apologies to George Santayana. I can’t explain Jdog’s liberties.]
The plan is to dump all the retirees into the Pension Benefit Guarantee Corporation and cancel their health care, at least as an obligation of the company. Any moron could run GM profitably without those “legacy costs”.
I agree GM is basically dull, but it’s not like the 1970’s when they made absolute crap, and so did Ford and Chrysler.
This is more about the predominance of government and the financial “industry” over REAL industry, a trend which has been firmly in place since the 1930’s and accelerated in the 1980’s and 90’s.
As with GM, so goes America, right? Headlong into socialism, it seems.
Love his music. But I’m not going to change my evil ways.
I am surprised, no shocked, to learn that you are another anglophile, taken by the mere sound of a Brit. Consider the dental implications of the mouth from whence that accent derives. No, I insist. Are you still such a fan?
You are teetering on the brink of the abyss of wankism. Quick, pull yourself up lest you fall to a place from which there is no return. No, it’s got nothing whatsoever to do with America going headlong into socialism. Absolutely nothing.
Love the accent. And even some of the food. Who among us does not love “Toad in a Hole” or “bloaters”?
Still can’t figure out why they would spell something “Cholmondelay” and pronounce it “Chumley,” but you know what Mark Twain said.
Now I really feel ignorant. What’s wankism?
I like British cars, too – at least the older ones. They are so gloriously messed up and beautiful. I’m not sure the new ones have that same quirky charm. And for the time being, at least, Series III XJ6’s are pretty cheap.
That Austin Healy is priceless, though.
And, you can’t seriously be maintaining that a government takeover of GM has “nothing whatsoever” to do with socialism, can you?
The XJ6s are very reminiscent of the new Aston Martins, though far less expensive. But no, quirkiness is underappreciated all around.
And I don’t believe the “takeover” has anything to do with socialism because I don’t believe there is a takeover. When I receive my proxy statement, I will re-evaluate.
My mother offered “EMPRESS” once as her occupation on her driver’s license renewal which for some reason was required information once. Oh and she was! in and out of her Ford station wagon. Someone in Albany noticed. The renewal came back a few weeks later with a form letter requesting a correction and we all thought it was very funny.
It’s the attitude. Princess, feh. Your mother is an Empress! What she drives is a carriage! She owes not a snap of her fingers for what the “in” people do or say or think if they think. Or a moment of concern. That goes for you too, big boy. If she wants a Cadillac Fleetwood, your mother should have a Cadillac Fleetwood. Of course.
Perhaps the word “princess” has a slightly more provincial meaning on Long Island than it does in the hinterlands. She is deeply concerned about what the “in” people think. Does that to clarify?
It does clarify. It’s the attitude, which can change. From “deeply concerned” to “EMPRESS.”
God knows I’ve tried, to no avail.
I will admit, my “lust” car would be a Porsche. Always has been, always will.
But I am 25 and love everything about my Saab (except the price of maintenance)and my achievable lust car would be a new Saab 9-3 Convertible.
My girlfriend might be swayed as her step-dad is a GM Mechanic, but her lust car is an ivory Caddy CTS. Above all other cars, that is the one she wants.
When I informed her of what it costs, she lost a little interest. If she had the money, she would still buy it, but she always assumed it was just a nicer class of “common” cars.
I guess GM has made some inroads in my generation, but it is definitely lagging behind Acura/Lexus/BMW/Porsche in terms of lust cars.
I’d say GM has a few lust-worthy cars out there. The Corvette ZR1 for starters. And if you want to impress down here, there’s the Texas Edition 1500. But you’re right, while I am not a “car guy” I would love to own an old Detroit muscle car. A ’72 Olds 442 convertible would be perfect.
I have said for quite a while that GM (and the rest of the Big 3) lost the Slackoisie thanks to the cars they’ve put out for the last 25 years or so. They’ve been boring and unreliable. People will buy fun cars even if they’re a hassle to keep running. People will buy boring cars if they never break down (see everything Honda has ever made) but boring and crappy is a bad combination.
GM and Ford have some high quality cars out right now, but too many people had a bad experience with an 85 Chevy Celebrity and won’t give the Big 3 another look. They’d just as soon by a Camery or if they want to spend a little more, a BMW. I don’t know how they recover from that. It’s going to take marketing people smart than me, and probably smarter than the ones they currently have.
It’s funny, some of the ‘vette guys come out in a new one right off the show room floor, thinking they’ve got a hottie. The guys driving the ’57 fuelie or the ’67 split window laugh at them. Who, but who, would come up with the idea of producing a Chevy Celebrity, or a K car, and think anyone would want one.
It’s not like they haven’t had a few decades to figure out what Honda and Toyota do better than them, or what they gave away when someone said nobody would notice plastic where there was one wood or metal.
A Porsche? You’re 25 and lust for a Porsche? I thought those were only sold to middle-aged physicians. I would rather have a real Saab (meaning pre-GM when they were still have curves) than a Porsche. As for the Cadillac, I bet she could find herself a real good deal. Now, before, later, whenever. It’s not like they’re selling like hotcakes. Make ’em an offer if that’s what puts a smile on her face. Plus, she can have the pride of being unique.
I’m sure it is different in different areas. I live in New England, so Volvo and Saab are everywhere. There is a Porsche dealer down the road from me, so I see Porsche’s a lot as well.
My dream car would be an old 60’s 356 convertible, but I’d be happy with a modern Porsche too. What makes you think they are mostly popular with middle aged physicians?
I do like the pre-GM Saab, but I prefer a wagon, and I haven’t seen any good pre-GM Saab wagons. I look forward to non-GM ownership of Saab; I feel that they limited the brand because it competes with Cadillac to a certain extent. Or maybe not competes, but when they look at the numbers, they consider both to be targeted at the same market and prefer investing in Caddy.
We’ll see about getting a good deal. Don’t have that kind of income just yet; in a year she will finish pharmacy, but a brand new Caddy is probably not in the picture. I wish I had the money because now is the best time to buy real estate or low-ball car dealerships.
You’re right. I remember being in some small town in Vermont years ago, when we noticed that every car, every single car, within view was a Saab. It was still fairly rare to see a Saab otherwise, so this was almost shocking.
As for Porches, the 356’s are nice, but the problem is that there are replicas out there and the real ones get mixed in with the fakes. Same with Cobras, where there are at least 100 replicas for every real Cobra. As for modern Porsches, every doc on LI drives around in his turbo Carerra, with the wind whistling through his . . . well, whistling, anyway. They are way overpriced and there’s not much point in buying one to drive 32 mph in midday traffic if you’ve not trying to make a point. Same with Ferraris, of which we have an abundance around here.
When I was 25, I bought an Alfa Romeo. If was inexpensive, fast and cool. I wish I still had it.
I am not in the market for a fun car, so I haven’t really researched much. I noticed the replicas, but wasn’t sure whether it was a good thing (I could afford one of those) or a bad thing (Clearly, its a replica).
I’d prefer your car, but I wouldn’t be able to afford it anytime soon.
I notice Porsche’s on the highway going under the speed limit, but when I think of Porsche, I think of the 911 Turbo or GT2, not the lower level. Clearly I dream, of course. And I wouldn’t want it just to make a point, which is one of the reasons I don’t think I’ll ever justify owning one.
I’d love to be able to buy an equivalent to the Alfa Romeo. I don’t know of many bargains like that anymore. Even bad cars that are “fast” are overpriced, in my opinion. I keep driving my Saab wagon and enjoy being practical instead. Although the Aero model does produce 250 HP, and even my “underpowered” 185 HP can zip along.
I don’t think there’s any equivalent to the Alfa today either. Hello, GM?
Yup. While I don’t have the car bug — my loss — it’s true for other sorts of machines that I enjoy for their own sakes, as well as for the utility; it’s why I’d much rather have a S&W Model 65 than a newer 686, say.
I used to have the car bug, but it died of starvation and a broken heart. I had that teenage affection for a T-top Trans Am which never really went away even though I knew it couldn’t keep its promises. More seriously, I lusted after a classic Hemi Cuda.
If we’re talking total fantasyland, I was fascinated by the Lamborghini Countach 5000S. Low, loud, hot, and pointless, with doors that dropped down like a knife blade and an optional wing that actually slowed the car down. The real fantasy was that I could ever fit inside one.
Since I’m a big guy and I drive in the city, the only practical lustworthy car was something large and muscular at the low end. I also like the idea of a sleeper that’s more car than it looks like. The closest I came to actually buying something like that was a Buick Regal Grand National, which looked like a grocery getter, but could pull 13s in the quarter mile.
Small dreams, I know. I guess this is why I drive a RAV4. But I can stuff a dresser and nightstand in the back and strap a full-size mattress to the top.
I don’t know if this will help, but the T-tops always leaked, I’m told. And the Countach isn’t nearly all it’s cracked up to be. It’s kind of cheap looking if you ask me.
Now that you mention it, I can remember a friend who took his Trans Am back to the dealer three or four times to stop the leaking.
I never got a long enough look at a Countach to tell. Not an intact one, anyway. I used to eat lunch near a body shop that specialized in exotic cars. There’s something a little horrifying about a $100,000 worth of Italian sport car sitting all smashed and torn on the bed of a tow truck.
You know, that does help. You’re a pal. Thanks.
I’m here for you, just like I’m here for Jamie Spottz. It’s the kinda guy I am.
This seems relevant to the discussion, somehow.
European Heaven:
The British are the police.
The Germans are the engineers.
The Swiss are the bankers.
The French are the chefs.
The Italians are the lovers.
European Hell:
The Germans are the police.
The British are the chefs.
The French are the engineers.
The Italians are the bankers.
The Swiss are the lovers.
But I have to say that I don’t know why the Swiss are the lovers from hell, cause i don’t know any Swiss people, though I’d like to, cause I do think their banks are better. Yet, I hate banks, Swiss included, because they pretend to lend money when they don’t really have any and then they charge fees and interest to unsuspecting ignorant people like myself and General Motors, which makes everyone go bankrupt which is what GM just did.
And I think GM did pretty well in Europe, what with the Cortina and all, or was that a Ford? I don’t remember, really, because whatever it was the British DB7 or SHG’s Austin Healy was far cooler, so no wonder GM went bankrupt, eventually, and then their Hummer division got bought up by some group in China, which you would think has nothing to do with Europe, heaven or hell, but I still think the litany about that was on topic, though I’m now having second thoughts about that.
And what about the Delorean? As I recall that was manufactured in Northern Ireland but was really a GM worm into the European market that would have done quite well but for the namesake’s cocaine problem, which maybe cocaine shouldn’t have been illegal anyway because all of that just seems like a big waste of time, not that I advocate legalization of anything but then again why not?
But since we’re on the subject I really think cars these days are quite good, GM cars included, and I have a hard time complaining because I remember the Ford Pinto, which must have been the foulest production car anyone ever bothered to assemble and sell to an unsuspecting public, and when Ford managed to do that it gave the bankers ideas and that’s why we’re in the shape we’re in today. And the government, too, lost all respect for us because we bought those horrible excuses for automobiles, though I didn’t personally, and they figured they could douse us with gasoline and set us on fire, economically speaking, and we wouldn’t complain.
And that, put simply, is why I became a lawyer. So that the government couldn’t douse us with gasoline and blow us up and treat us like Ford Pintos, which were really, really horrible automobiles and we don’t deserve that because we have the Bill of Rights and Ford Pintos didn’t. And some of then were yellow with a brown interior and I think my uncle had one and it didn’t help because it was a truly crappy, crappy car, the worst that anyone ever made.
And here’s the thing. GM was so stupid it thought it actually had to have an answer for the Pinto and it was called the Vega, which was a Chevrolet, and that’s all I’m going to say about it.